L Shaped Pain and Cooking

L shaped pain and cooking

I had a really hard time sleeping last night, again. I finally was able to sleep around 5 am. Nothing was working and then I got the pain from hell in my foot. It felt like it wanted to contract but couldn’t so it just hurt. Then it got ice cold, then burning hot. I was taking it in and out of the covers because the sheets were bothering it. I was getting so fucking annoyed. I also got really suicidal and starting planning. I also wrote my will and a few notes. I just got to put them in envelopes. I really have had enough. I don’t know if I will go through with it, but I have a few weeks before I really decide.

I woke up around 1230 because my bladder was going to explode. I really didn’t want to go downstairs because my sisters had called a “family” meeting. I had told them not to wake me as I just basically been up since Thursday 1 pm with only 4 hours sleep at that point. I listened before going downstairs and there was nothing so I used the bathroom. Then when I came back to my room, I had to go again for number 2. UGH, don’t know why my body can’t empty in one go. I got hungry so just made a sandwich and then the hunger just got worse. I had a bowl of cereal. I wanted to make the Kielbasa I bought. My niece gave me a recipe she uses but it uses apricot preserves, bourbon, and a slow cooker. I didn’t have that. So I got another recipe with just three ingredients and used that. It came out really good, even though I sort of burned the sausage. The glaze was really thick and I don’t think I will be able to eat the left overs as I fear it is just going to become rock solid in the fridge.

While I was waiting for the Neurontin to work last night, I decided to read this book my friend’s husband wrote. OMG this is book is so good! It is sci-fi and I really am into it. I couldn’t believe that I read two chapters in just under an hour, which kind of sucked because I thought it was going to help me sleep, not wake me up with questions of what is going to happen next. I am already trying to figure out what is going to happen next. The book is by Ted Boone and is called Langford’s Leap. He is a new author. I don’t think he hired an editor and just did it himself. People have been telling him there have been errors along the way, including me. So I know what that is like. He read my book Darkness. He liked it but fortunately doesn’t suffer from mental illness so couldn’t relate (said so in the review, the first!) I was happy to have an honest review (also glad he didn’t mention any errors, if there were any. I just re did the book).

I am drifting off so I don’t care it is 6 pm. Going to take my night meds and hope they knock me out rather than keep me up. I had switched a lot of my night meds to morning and I still haven’t been able to solve the sleep enigma.

any thoughts?

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