from the moment I woke up to now as I am writing this, my ankle and foot bones have been hurting me something awful. I tried to sleep all day but it didn’t happen. I was just in a sucky kind of mood. I am taking my night meds now and then I will be lying down, hopefully for the night. I have a bunch of things to say but I am too tired to write them. Maybe tomorrow.
Tag: CRPS
trying to do chores with CRPS
Trying to do chores with CRPS
I somehow slept through the night, once I went to sleep around or after 0100. I woke up 1 minute before my med alarm went off. I quickly cleared it before it went off and took my meds. Today is the start of increasing the new med, Vimpat, twice a day. I am now at 100 mg/day. I was feeling okay, pain wise. I stayed in bed and I think went back to sleep. My sister texted me saying my mother didn’t want to go to the ER to get checked out. I told her to threaten to call an ambulance but she didn’t. My sis wanted the number for the visiting nurse. I told her I would text it to her, which forced me out of bed. I went downstairs. I brushed my teeth and then got the number for my sister. My mother was on the phone and she sounded horrible. Her voice is shot to hell. Her cough is worse and her breathing is heavy, more than usual. I really think she should see her doctor so she can get on an inhaler to help her breath better and maybe some antibiotics to prevent pneumonia. She has emphysema and I think the virus is making her breathing so much worse. I will be home and I hope my mother doesn’t cancel when the nurse calls tomorrow. I will be very upset. I told her it is important to have her come to check her lungs out because she could have walking pneumonia.
I then made breakfast, my go to, egg McMuffin. Then I made coffee and think that is what caused my ankle to go berserk. My mother wanted tea and because she is deaf, I had to keep walking back and forth from the kitchen to the living room multiple times. I asked her if she wanted me to make a sauce as there was none. She said there was some in the fridge. There wasn’t. I found a container in the freezer so took it out. She made a list of things she wanted at the grocery store. I went through the paper and found some things I wanted. I put the list on my phone so I knew what to get. I will go later this week when my food stamps money comes in. My mother wanted my brother in law to take me but I don’t have the money right now.
I went upstairs after finishing my coffee. My mother wanted me to water the plants so I did that before I went upstairs. My ankle didn’t like this extra effort. By the time I got to my room, it was hurting and my foot was telling me to fuck off. I took my pain meds. I wanted lentil soup so asked my brother in law to get some before he came home. He said the grocery store parking lot was full and couldn’t find a spot. I told him it was okay. I would get some later in the week. I haven’t had lentil soup in a long time. It was about noon and I had to make supper around 4ish for my mother. It was going to be difficult so I just rested. I read some of the baseball history book. I timed myself. After about 50 minutes, I couldn’t read anymore and I couldn’t finish the chapter. I stopped where there was a gap. I goofed off on social media, going between facebook and twitter. I decided that any facebook post older than 3 days I would “hide”. It helped to get more recent posts. Around 4 I went downstairs to make the spaghetti and heat up the sauce.
My mother was not feeling good at all. I wanted her to shower but she felt too weak. I told my sister and she understood. After we ate, I took down the garbage and recycling. I finally got rid of the Christmas ham that was in the fridge and a few other things that were there for god knows how long. I also emptied the bathroom trash. My ankle was getting upset again. I went upstairs and relaxed for a bit. I had to do the day’s dishes. I got the brilliant idea of showering and then doing the dishes. I don’t know what the fuck I was thinking. Between my back and my ankle/foot, I was in rough shape. I was so mad at myself for thinking I could do all these things. I probably am not going to be able to do shit tomorrow. I have no idea if I will be able to sleep tonight. My pain is a 9 right now. I took my meds a little while ago and my right calf cramped up on me. I stretched it out by putting it on my bed and slightly leaning forward. I had trouble getting it off my bed. Then I decided to do the same to my left leg and last only a few seconds. My ankle was not having it.
I limped to bed and fixed my body pillow as it was bunching up near the headboard and trying to get on my nightstand. It is starting to annoy me so I am not sure how much longer it will stay on my bed. It is shaped like a U so one arm is dividing my bed into my sleep and office area. Problem is, I don’t have enough space like I used to and I feel kind of crowded.
So between making breakfast, coffee, watering the plants, making supper, emptying the trash and recycle, showering, and doing dishes, I am spent. I hope my mother feels better soon because I can’t continue to make supper and do dishes every night. I just can’t, it hurts too much. If I didn’t have chronic pain, it wouldn’t be a problem. But I am struggling just to make do to help my sick mother.
what a night and day
What a night and day
I woke up to the phone ringing around 0200. It was my mother but I was half a sleep and didn’t think anything of it. She called again for me to come to her room. She had low blood sugar and needed her testing supplies as well as some juice. Her sugar was 64. I changed her bed as they were wet from sweat. I made sure she was okay and then went back to my room. I couldn’t go back to sleep. I was playing with my phone. She called me again about an hour later and she was puking up the OJ. She has a cold and it makes her gag when she coughs. She had threw up all over herself and the bed. Changed her and the sheets. Her sugar was higher so that was good.
I stayed up most of the night checking on her. Having a low sugar attack makes her feel cold so I got her some more blankets to warm her up. I slept around 5 or 6 only to wake up a few hours later. My sister had called and said she couldn’t get through. I told her she was on the phone and that was probably why. I got up to make sure. She was talking to someone on the phone when I went to the bathroom. I felt like shit. I started making my mother breakfast and almost went asleep. She said she could handle it so I went up to my room and pretty much stayed there until noon. I was hungry but didn’t know what to eat. I decided to have a bagel with the cream cheese filling I made for the cookies that were a disaster. It was okay, a little too sweet but good. I then went up my room and slept the day away.
My mother called me around 1630 to find out what I wanted for supper. I wasn’t hungry. I stayed in bed for another hour and then made a microwave dinner. I was kind of hungry so made some microwave popcorn. I watched TV and all the commercials were for weight loss. This person lost 30 pounds, this one 20, etc. What they don’t tell you is how much the food costs to join their system, which is more than what you would buy in the grocery store. I watched a couple episodes of MASH then washed the dishes in the sink for my mother. She has no voice and is wheezing from the cold. I think it will turn into a chest cold soon. I just hope I don’t get it.
I helped my sister make my mother’s bed. My ankle freaked out. Now I am ready for bed, again. I hope tonight is better than last.
A harrowing day 2
A harrowing day
I woke up around 5 am because my back was hurting from sleeping on it. It was hard to move and then I couldn’t go back to sleep because I was in pain. My foot was throbbing, but nothing too severe, least not yet. Around 7 I decided to go to Starbucks to get my coffee so I would have it for the weekend and some half and half. It was cold out but warmer than it has been all week. A major storm is suppose to start tomorrow morning.
I caught the bus and went to Starbucks. I was debating on trying the Yukon coffee, which I never had but is a medium roast, which is also what I like. Maybe I will try it next month. I got breakfast and a soy latte with 5 shots espresso. I didn’t want an iced drink as it was too cold out. Paying for the soy was expensive. It was like 8 bucks. I thought I would use my birthday reward but it didn’t go through. I will have to try again on Friday.
I wanted to get some cheese at the grocery store but there was no one at the deli counter. I wanted to catch the bus so I just got the half and half and some English muffins. I was able to catch the bus home. The bus was roasting. I was so hot with my heavy jacket on. I was almost home and my ankle cramped up in the spot that is giving me trouble. Luckily, walking it off helped but left my ankle feeling sore. I went up the stairs and put the things I bought away. For some reason I kept having to go downstairs and talk with my mother because she was still having problems with the TV remote. I also told her the nurse would be coming. The nurse had called me because my mother’s phone is not working. Verizon was supposed to fix it but I never got a call. Around 1130, I called them to find out what was going on because I received a text saying the issue was resolved but I had no internet and my mother’s phone was still not working. The woman said the tech was still working on the problem and would call when it was finished. The tech never called but things were fixed.
My ankle had flared up soon after I called Verizon. I was really irritable and depressed. I was also having a lot of dark thoughts which I wrote about while the internet was down. All I did was take two steps toward the sink to wash my utensils. That was all my ankle needed and it was out of commission. I got very distressed and angry. I am so sick of being in pain. Nothing was getting rid of the pain. I took my meds and read twitter and facebook. I posted some stuff on both medias. I looked at cute pics of kittens and dogs. Nothing was helping. I took some more meds and then an Ativan as I was ready to do something, anything, to rid me of pain or my life, I didn’t care. I think the Ativan calmed me down enough so I was thinking crazy thoughts. Finally the meds worked and my pain was lower than it was. I decided I was going to order pizza and fries rather than get a haircut.
I am very tired as I have been up so early. I never took a nap because I was so anxious. I couldn’t settle down. I kept reading about the storm that is approaching. I hope it doesn’t blow our roof off or damage it more than it is. One of our roof tops is in need of replacing. Hope it stays together with the high winds we are supposed to have. I don’t like high winds as it feels like it is going to blow the house down or something. I closed my window and am just running the ceiling fan. Otherwise it just gets too hot in my room.
I think I am going to go to bed early. I was going to watch some more MASH but I don’t think it will be a good idea. I might read to get my mind off my worries over the next few days. I might not be able to see my psychiatrist Friday if it is very icy out. I sent her an email about being irritable and that I hope to see her at our appt. I don’t see my therapist until Monday so I am hoping the street will be better by then. His office building is on a main street so it should be clear and hopefully ice free come Monday. I just don’t know when the snow will stop tomorrow and if there will be enough time for people to shovel to remove it before it all turns to ice.
midnightdemons7 
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