Tag: physical pain

Sunday Baseball

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Sunday Baseball

It’s been a slow day. I’m listening to the ball game after I watched some of it in the kitchen. I ordered pizza as I was craving it. I sweated a lot while in the hot kitchen and when I was done with my pizza, I went upstairs and turned on the AC. I had shut it off to give it a bit of a rest as it had been running since Friday night.

I have been fighting a nap all day. I made coffee but I still feel tired. My mother made pasta and sauce for dinner. I am a sucker for pasta. I still need to make my dirty gravy but it’s too hot to cook in the kitchen right now. If we ever have low seventy days, I will thaw the meat out and make it.

I was having cramps for most of the day yesterday so I emailed my psych on what to do. I had taken baclofen, Ativan, and magnesium supplements and still had no effect on my foot. She said to drink tonic water. I wanted to reply and ask with or without gin. HAHA. I’ll have to go to the liquor store and get some. In the meantime, I have been taking some old dissolvible quinine tablets that I got at the Vitamin Shoppe years ago before I was on Ativan. I practically begged my psych to put me on Ativan after a wicked bad spasm caused an ankle sprain, which lead to CRPS eventually. I was so embarrassed to tell people I had sprained my ankle because of a cramp. I had a big boot on for a while and then a smaller boot for weeks. It was awful. I never healed because my job was so demanding with walking around the lab and stuff. I was constantly going from one building to another to the office which was a few blocks away and back. I was able to keep my weight in check back then. It all went to shit when I had a psych hospitalization and then I was let go at my work because of my disability. Then I didn’t care what I weighed. I still have been stable the last few years, losing and gaining the same 5-8 pounds, which Neurontin likes to hold on to.

I was able to shower because my pain was low. It’s getting up there now. My foot is just aching. Today has been a better day though, which I am grateful. I filled my pill box after my shower to get it out of the way. I’ll be taking my meds soon as I am really tired.

0230 Blog

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

0230 blog

I’m in horrible pain tonight. I just had some ice cream because I felt like having it. I just took some Ativan and more pain meds. I had taken a strong pain pill hours ago but I don’t want to take anymore tonight. I took 900 mg of Neurontin and that was my second dose. I just take whatever I feel like taking with the Neurontin. I don’t care. It’s out of my system within 8 hours so as long as I sleep it off, I am okay. I don’t sleep it off and I am a zombie.

I paged my psych to discuss the Neurontin dosing as I tend to substitute it for my pain meds just so I can sleep rather than be in pain. Sleep has been the only real pain reliever for me. I get into a deep sleep with the drug better than my pain meds or Ativan. The hard part is actually getting to fucking sleep. Every time I lie down, my damn pain increases, making it nearly impossible to fall asleep.

My psych never called me back. I waited until midnight. She will most likely call me in the morning or early afternoon. I just hope I am semi awake. Her ringtone is something that will wake me up. I plan on making iced coffee tomorrow. I hope I make it right.

Something is going on with my big toe. There is a tendon that keeps popping up when it severely hurts. I have noticed it will involuntarily move upwards. I try to move it downwards but because of the nerve damage I have to touch it and move it with my hand, which causes me pain because it is so sensitive to touch.

I created a Facebook group for people that is up after midnight. It’s called After Midnight Club. Here is the link
https://www.facebook.com/groups/1885382218387087/

just in case any readers who are on Facebook want to join. It an open group, for now, so posts can be seen through the public. Once I get more people in the group, I will make it closed so only members can see the posts.

I’m going to try this thing called sleep now. If it doesn’t work, I will be back, maybe…

Father’s Day 2017

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Father’s Day 2017

I woke up at 4 and it took a while to get back to sleep. Then I woke up around 0845 and realized my mother would not be going to my aunt’s so I figure I just get up and make breakfast. I made bacon and egg sandwich. It was good. Then I shaved my head before going back upstairs. I am trying to keep it close but I am not doing a good job in the back. I don’t see the barber for another two weeks for him to straighten it out. I really don’t want to dip into my savings for a haircut.

I’ve been thinking of my father most of the day today as it’s Father’s day and it’s the second year without him. It is still weird that he isn’t around anymore. I miss him more than I care to admit. My sister posted a video of him on Facebook and he was dancing as he was drinking a beer. That’s my father, always dancing. He loved to dance.

I’m not sure what the plan is for my brother in law. He wants to go to a specific restaurant so I don’t think there will be a something at home. My mother made him a cake. I don’t know why she does it as no one eats it and then she gets mad because it goes to waste. My sister has told her many times that no one eats cake but she doesn’t listen.

It’s really muggy today despite it just being in the 70s. I need to shower today so I might do it after I make coffee. I just plan on watching Star Trek the next generation DVDs. I watched two episodes last night. I didn’t listen to the game and I am glad I didn’t as the starting pitcher sucked. We lost 7-1. I was texting friends last night as the game was going on. I would have been swearing on Twitter a lot if I was paying attention to the game. I rather talk to my friends anyway. Game is on late again tonight. I don’t know who is pitching. I really don’t care as long as we get a win, but for that to happen, the offense needs to get runs. I’ll wear my hat and hopefully it will bring them luck.

I’m going to write down my concerns I have with my therapist sometime today. I was going to do it tomorrow but I think today is just as good. I just hope I can bring it up and talk about it with him.

I’m getting sleepy so I think I will shower and then make coffee. This way if the coffee puts me out at least I have the shower out of the way.

using hotspot, again

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Using hotspot, again

I didn’t go to sleep till well after 0300. That was when I had a bowl of cereal and the pain had settled down enough for me to sleep. I slept for almost 12 hours, waking up only twice to use the bathroom. I checked my internet service and still had not access. I was hungry so decided to have something to eat before being on hold forever with Verizon.

I called and there is a problem with the central office so my account hasn’t been cleared yet. I should have services tomorrow. Fuckers. I am glad I can use my phone for net on my laptop. I would use my phone but typing up a blog is difficult and my phone likes to change simple words whenever it feels like it. Like I typed is and it changed it to us. So annoying!! I constantly have to double check what I wrote to make sure it is what I wrote.

Foot is still hurting but it’s not as bad as it was last night. My Achilles has calmed down as well. I thought about going to walgreens to return something but think I will give it another day’s rest. I really don’t want it flaring up again as the pain is hard to control.

I had emailed my PCP’s office to see if I could expedite my appointment with the CRPS specialist and I will be seeing one of her colleagues rather than her. Great. Don’t know when that will be. I hope it will be sooner than February 2018! Last night’s pain was terrible. I had to take a boat load of meds just to stay on top of it.

It is much cooler today than it was yesterday. I shut the fan and AC off. It’s comfortable in my room, though my feet are fucking freezing. I need to put on my thermal socks so they can warm up. I hope the temp stays the same over the next few days. I like it this temp, neither too hot or too cold.

Sox won last night in extra innings, again. I was so tired last night that I didn’t really pay attention too much. I tried but it was a lot of bullshit in between the Twitter line about the idiot Sessions’s testimony. It went through most of the night and today. When I woke up, I saw on Facebook there were two shootings, one in Virginia and the other in San Francisco. Just terrible and then you have the fire in London that was devastating. I should go back to sleep so I don’t have to hear it.