lousy rainy painful day

Lousy Rainy Painful Day

I woke up in pain and didn’t sleep all that well last night so I had to cancel my dinner date with my friends. I was in too much pain. The rain didn’t help matters. I have been sleeping all day. I didn’t eat so when I woke up, I was hungry. I ordered a burger and onion rings. It was good. The onion rings were a little burnt but it was okay.

Oh, yea, My book is available on Kindle!! https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01MY2V8TF/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1483019682&sr=1-1&keywords=collerone

Check it out when you have a chance. I decided to go ahead with the electronic version first because the PDF looked ok. I want to see what the book looks like before I okay that. I should be getting the proof tomorrow. I expedited shipping so I could receive it faster.

I finally took a shower today. While I was taking my nap, I was sweating something fierce. My pjs were wet. I didn’t pee myself, which is what I thought at first but my underwear was dry. I was really hot under the covers. My mother has a cold so she has the heat on high. I am roasting in my room and will turn on the ceiling fan, again, soon.

I have been in an awful mood today because pain kept me from my friends. I feel really bad but there is nothing that I can do about it. I can’t walk, I can’t walk. Just bothers me. I just don’t want my friends to think that I am stiffing them.

My protein drinks came today. All in one fucking shipment. Thing weighed a ton. I think the heavier box was the Ensure. I got a case of that because there aren’t enough calories with the other protein drinks. I bought yogurt and puddings to help. I need sugar. I know it’s bad when you are on a diet but the drinks are sugar free and I know my body isn’t going to like that for three weeks. For six days, I will be watching my niece. I might have to stop the diet for that time so that we can at least eat the same foods. I would feel bad if she ate pizza (my favorite) and I had a protein drink.

I need to ship some stuff to a friend of mine tomorrow. I hope I am not in too much pain because I got to go to my PCP’s office to pick up my prescription and get it filled. I was going to get it today but that didn’t work out too well. I never called the dentist either. I can’t remember if I brushed my teeth this morning or not. I will have to do it before bed. I meant to brush while in the shower but my foot was acting up. I can only stand for so long and today I didn’t want to test how long. I had to put thermal socks on my feet because they were freezing by the time I got up to my room. My room might be really warm but the house is cold, despite the heat being on. I don’t understand it.

I hope I am not up all night like I was last night. I don’t think I can stand two nights in a row of not sleeping and being in pain all night. It might drive my death date sooner rather than later. I’m so tired of being in pain.

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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