I am a cookie monster

I am a cookie monster

I woke up around noon. I was hungry so I made a bacon and egg burrito. My mother and sister were in the kitchen as I cooked. We made small talk. My mother was making some apple dish in the oven. The house smelled nice with the spices and apples cooking. After I ate, I went up to my room and scrolled through Facebook. My sister made cookies in the shape of footballs so I took my recycling down and found she not only had those cookies, but chocolate chip as well. I was in cookie heaven. I made some coffee and had more than a few. My sister’s brother in law was over and I told him that I was changing my name. He didn’t know that I was transgender so I told him. We talked briefly about it. He wanted to know why I wanted to change my name. I told him I hate my birth name, always have. My middle sister will be going with me to the courthouse. I asked her if she could make it. She wants to know the time and I told her I need to call this Friday to set up a time. I will let her know then. I might use Uber to get there depending on the time. I really would like to go to the Square to get my espresso first so I could catch the bus to get to the courthouse. I can’t walk the few blocks to the street that the buses run. I wish I could but those days are long gone.

I came upstairs and a Lady A song started playing in my head. It’s been playing since yesterday. I put on the song and played the rest of the album. I checked Twitter to find out the score of the Pats game. They are losing by one point. Panthers are a tough team. Last week was a nail biter as the score kept going back and forth. Looks like this week it is going to be the same. I’m not watching it because my ankle is really hurting. I am trying to not take my strong pain pill. I’m not sure if that is going to be possible because I have bone pain.

Listening to the last game of regular season baseball. No score yet. Pats are now losing by 7 in the 4th quarter. Ballgame is going slow. I hate when there are more outs than hits. I asked my mother if she put my extra money in the purse so I can order pizza for supper. She said she wanted it, then argued with me about spending my money. Pisses me off.

I’m really hurting but I am being stubborn and won’t take the strong pain pill. I have been having severe constipation issues so I am trying to lay off so I can go without going into labor. It’s really straining my back to try and go. My nerve injury makes it difficult to get things moving so the stool just stays there without some serious pushing. I hate getting backed up. I have taken fiber pills today so I am hoping to go sometime today with ease. But it’s not an exact science.

Pats have tied the game. Think they will be going to overtime. I hate OT games.

UPDATE, Panthers scored a field goal (3 pts) so my Pats lost. BOOOOO

About G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality
This entry was posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

One Response to I am a cookie monster

  1. manyofus1980 says:

    sorry they lost. I hate constipation issues. I have those a lot. having a nerve injury must just make things so much worse. xxx

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