four hour test and a flare up

Four hour test and a flare up

I didn’t sleep very well last night. My alarm went off after I finally settled down. Think I might have gotten an hour and half. I took a shower and then it was time to get ready to catch the bus that never came. I had to take a different bus that went farther than the Square. Once I got off that bus, I ordered my Starbucks as I waited for another bus to take me to the Square. I quickly had my breakfast and took the espresso with me as I was now running late. I hoped there was no delays on the train and there wasn’t. I made it with 10 minutes to spare.

The first part of the scan was to inject me with the radioactive stuff and then take like 4 minutes of scans. Then I had to wait 2 hours to finish the rest of it. I was hurting for the positioning of my foot but it wasn’t too bad. I went to the café and met up with a friend of mine. We talked until he had to leave. I also went to see my former coworkers in the lab. There were only a few people I recognized and talked to. Everyone else was new.

While in the café, I got a cup of tea and then wrote in my journal. I was so tired and wanted to sleep but I just couldn’t nap. I went back to radiology a few minutes before I was supposed to and waited in the waiting room. They called me back and we went to a different room. It was cold and my foot immediately didn’t like it. It was the same positions as before but for about 10 minutes or so per scan. One of the scans, the tech put a rubber band on my feet. It irritated my foot. By the time we were done, I was flared up. I wish I could have had a ride home. The tech said results would be available this afternoon but I haven’t received notification of them yet.

I slowly walked to the train station. By the time I got there, my ankle was really hurting and my foot felt like ice. I took a strong pain pill that I had with me. The train was there when I got to the platform but it was delayed. We sat for a bit. I didn’t care as long as I didn’t miss the bus home, which would come in about 40 minutes, or so I thought. As I reached the Square, I got a text saying the bus was having moderate delays. Great. By this time, my foot bones were killing me and I just wanted to crash. Finally the bus came. I went to Walgreens to buy something for my mother and then came home. My ankle bone hurt. I was in so much damn pain I knew I wasn’t going to sleep. I was hungry but all that I wanted was my mother’s brownies.

I had two brownies and then went upstairs to change into my PJs and thermal socks. While taking off the sock on my bad foot, it flared up more. I was in pure agony. Half my ankle and foot were in 12/10 pain. I took my regular pain meds. Then after a couple hours, I took another strong pain pill and Ativan as I was getting anxious from the pain. I still haven’t heard anything about my scan. It could take up to 24 hours for radiology results to be put online. I care but don’t at this point as I just want to see my pillow.

The insurance card I was waiting for came in the mail today so I can change my name at the hospital I have my care. YAHOO! I’ll go to registration tomorrow after my psych appt, I might go before hand depending on what time they open. I just checked my prescription card and the updated name has happened. YAY! Progress. Now I just need to update it at the pharmacy. I hope I don’t need all new prescriptions in my new name. That will suck. Only thing I need next week will be my Ativan, and by then, my license will be changed to my new name. It won’t be a laminated card as I will have a temporary one. I just hope the gender marker doesn’t cause a hubbub. I really don’t want hassles.

OK, Pain is at a new level. Didn’t think that would be possible. I need to lie down. Until tomorrow!

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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