Morning Glory Muffins and other things

Morning Glory Muffins and other things

In case you missed the link for the recipe: https://www.kingarthurflour.com/recipes/morning-glory-muffins-recipe

I woke up at 5 in pain. My ankle was screaming. I took some meds and was just beside myself. The depression that I have been feeling is getting worse. I just feel so hopeless. I managed to go downstairs to use the bathroom and then have some breakfast as I was hungry. I made four waffles and a cup a tea. I was starting to get a little sleepy by the time the tea was cool enough to drink. I went back to sleep after I drank it.

I woke up around 11. I found out the ballgame was at 2 so wanted to make these dreaded muffins. I should have used a food processor to chop in hindsight. I stood for about an hour walking around my kitchen getting things and mixing and stuff. I realized when while I was mixing it the apples I cut up were too big and the carrots were shredded too long. Oh well. It was the first time making this recipe. The muffins would just be chunky. They have apples, carrots, walnuts, coconuts, and raisins. It is a nice hearty muffin. It came out good. Even my mother liked it, and she doesn’t usually like my baking.

I went up to my room to rest and listen to the game. It was like the 7th inning and there still was no score. Price, the pitcher, left and then the Rays scored after a 2 run home run. Then we tied it in the 9th. We ended up winning in the 12th. I was happy. It was the 6th game in a row that we won. Our record right now is 6-1. Tomorrow they are off. Saturday is a day game, Sunday probably as well. I am happy with my team. I wish Red Sox Nation would give JBJ, the centerfielder a break. We probably would have lost the game had he not been playing today as there were some pretty tough balls hit to him.

My ankle exploded sometime around 5 and then again around 7 when I went to put eyedrops in my eyes. Same pain that I have been having all day. I hope I can see my psych tomorrow. She will understand if I don’t make it but it takes forever to get another appointment. I really hope I sleep tonight and don’t wake up fucking early in the morning. I can’t even give myself a “bedtime” because it never happens. I have been trying to stay off my phone when I want to sleep. Only trouble is that the books that I have been reading have been on my Kindle so the no electronics rule is out the window. I really need to read more but it’s so hard when the pain makes my brain mush. I can only read a few lines, like Twitter. I mostly just read a few tweets and skip the rest because they don’t pertain to me. I hate retweets because some of them are so not relevant to what I like. But whatever. Some of it is good because it keeps me in the loop of what Dotard is up to.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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