did too much and paying for it

Did too much and paying for it

Yesterday I did grocery shopping and showered. Today I went to the pharmacy because I forgot to go yesterday. It was hard. I walked half way there only to realize I left my mask at home so I had to walk back. I had to rest because I was short of breath. I got my meds and then collapsed when I came home. I have been sick since 11 am. I have tried to keep up with eating and hydrating but it has been difficult. My bladder is giving me signs it is not completely healed. I have been experiencing some hesitancy to go and then some starting and stopping when I do go. I am frustrated. I then had to go again an hour later and I had a full bladder when I cathed. So I can’t rely on voiding anymore. I usually cath at least three times a day but now it might have to be more. We’ll see. It is still early and I am still drinking to keep myself hydrated but it is hard when I am not thirsty.

I got headaches, palpitations, and high heart rate going on. I have been lying flat but I couldn’t stay down. I was too antsy. I should have taken an Ativan to calm down. I think I have to drug myself in order to get the much needed rest I need to get rid of the fluid. My friend said that it is like a bruise. Another person said that I need a drain. If I have to have surgery, I think that is what is going to happen. I am kind of scared of surgery because I already have arachnoiditis and I don’t want it to get worse or add to what I have. I am starting to have immune response to surgery and that isn’t good. Arachnoiditis is sort of like an immune response to surgery. My friend said that it will not go away. I am stuck with it but I need good pain control. Trouble is with Covid, I am not going to be able to see the new pain staff my pcp wants me to see and I know that I need an increase in pain medication. I don’t want to switch meds. I just want to increase what I have as the non-opioids are not doing much for me in terms of pain control. I have been on a stable dose of meds and just haven’t had too much relief except for the extra I take when pain is really bad. It really isn’t an “extra” as I don’t have much room to take more than I need on any given day. I hate that I sometimes have to ration my meds because otherwise I will run out before I can get a refill. It isn’t all the time that this happens. But with recovering from surgery, I have been in more pain than expected.

I want to write more but I need to lay down. Head is pounding and vision keeps getting blurred. I think if this keeps up I might have to go to the ER. I hope not but I don’t like these symptoms I am having and my gut is telling me something serious is wrong.

any thoughts?

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