Category: depression

Saturday Blog 03072021

I watched a couple of episodes of the show Community on Netflix. I am finding it stupid funny. It is making me laugh so it is a good show. I am getting into it. I might spend the day watching it. I don’t know. I have a shit load of books I need to read and work on my book. I finally wrote a chapter last night. I am over 2,500 words. Once I have written 100 pages, I will start creating it on Amazon to get the copyright and ISBN numbers.

I woke up pretty tired. I had colon blow this morning. Every time I peed, crap was pouring out of me. I think it has finally stopped. I voided at 1140 and then had to go again an hour later so I cathed. I don’t think I am emptying my bladder when I void. It was only because the urge to go was so strong I didn’t cath. I am empty now and hopefully won’t have to go again until 4-5 hours later. I hate that I have to cath now to avoid pain from voiding. I don’t know if I am straining or if I am getting spasms while I pee. Just sucks because the risk of infection is higher with me having to cath.

It’s really cool today so I put on some long legged PJs. Such a drastic change compared to the week we had with temps 90 and above. I’ll take it though. I hate the heat. I wish this could be the temps year round. But it is supposed to be hotter and muggier towards the end of the week.

Tomorrow I am going to see my cousins who are visiting from Texas. We are having a brunch. It should be fun. I haven’t seen my cousins in a long time since before the pandemic. I only been keeping in touch via zoom, which isn’t the same thing.

My ankle pain has returned. The bones are aching so bad with this damp weather. I am just going to try and stay off my feet for the rest of the day. I will just watch Community until the Sox game tonight. Think I will order Chinese food for tonight so I don’t have to cook. I am addicted to Kung Pao chicken.

A rainy blah day

Alarm went off for my morning meds and I was still sleepy so I took my meds and went back to sleep thinking I would be up for my 1130 appointment. No such luck. The NP called me. We discussed the questions I had and she said that I should just cath rather than try to void because of the pain. It is unclear whether I am straining or getting spasms while voiding that is causing me the discomfort so to avoid that, I am to cath. I am ok for catheters right now because I am still voiding. Sometimes the urge to go is too strong and I don’t have time to insert a catheter. I am glad to cath because I completely empty my bladder so I don’t have to worry about not emptying and going again in two hours, unless I drink a lot of fluids.

After the phone call, I had to get some coffee. I didn’t wear my glasses because I was still too sleepy. I brought my phone down with me but without my glasses, I couldn’t read the messages. I drank my coffee in relative silence as I had the kitchen to myself. I was going to go to the grocery store for half and half but it was raining and I didn’t feel like going out. I ended up ordering it through amazon so I can get it delivered. I love this. I never have to go to a store anymore for things I need. I just have to go to the pharmacy to pick up my meds.

I placed an order on MLB.com and the order got lost. It said that it was delivered yesterday but I am not able to locate the package. Either it wasn’t delivered or someone swiped the package. I was able to get it reshipped so I was happy about that. I just hate that it is taking forever to get. I want it now! LOL

I signed up for Netflix again to watch the show Community like my therapist recommended. I only watched the first show so have no opinion on it yet. I haven’t found it hysterical like my therapist said but she said it takes a couple episodes so I will watch another one today. I heard there is going to be a season 2 of Good Omens. I cannot wait. I love that show. I watched it twice. It was very good.

I had asked my pcp if taking Miralax every day was safe. He said as long as I am taking it once a day it is ok because of the meds I am on. I hate that it take a couple of days to work when I don’t take it every day. The weather dropped thirty degrees. It is so nice having the house cool again. I had to shut off the AC as it was too cold in my room. It’s supposed to be in the 60’s all weekend and then become hot again next week. I see my new neuro next week. I hope she is competent and I get along with her.

Grumpy in this heat

I woke up to another hot day. I was not in a good mood. I hate the heat so damn much it isn’t funny and it is only the beginning of summer. My AC is keeping my room cool but not cold or less humid. It feels sticky. I hate it so much.

I had therapy today. She wants me to find positive stuff that makes me laugh. I told her the show MASH makes me laugh and she said she wasn’t keen on me watching it because of the theme song. She gave me a podcast and show on Netflix to watch and listen to. I got the podcast. I have not signed up for Netflix again. I just don’t like watching shows. I don’t have the attention span usually. I wanted to watch Pretty Woman today but I have no idea what I did with the DVD when I cleared off my bed.

There is a pill I take around 4-5pm. I have a med alarm so I remember to take it. Only thing is, I sometimes shut the alarm off but forget to take it. Or take it then forget if I took it or not. I have to start keeping a box for it now because it has been too many I don’t knows/remembers.

I am so angry that Bill Cosby got off because of a technicality. Just reminds me of why I never went to the police when my cousin did what he did to me. If my family didn’t believe me, what were the chances of him getting convicted in court?

I told my therapist I used the crisis text line Monday night because I was having a hard time with my pain and she said that was resourceful. It helped a bit to talk about things to someone. I was really struggling as the CRPS pain was out of control. It was my nephew’s birthday so I was in the backyard for a couple of hours. My ankle didn’t like me sitting in a chair for that long. It was really hot and the heat was getting to me. After the cake I said goodbye to everyone. I splashed cold water on my face and neck to try and get the sweat off and cool down some. Today is just as hot, if not hotter and I am still miserable. The barometric pressure has slowly decreased and I am hurting big time. My ankle and foot are throbbing so bad. I haven’t taken a breakthrough med because I am waiting for the thunderstorms to hit. I know my pain will get worse then so taking something now will not be helpful.

Sox won last night. We are now 2 whole games ahead of the Rays. I love it. I am going to listen to the game tonight. They have one more game at home before going to the west coast to play there. Going to suck because the games will start after 10pm for a week. I’ll probably just catch the win or loss the next day as I am rarely up that late anymore.

•