Tag: bipolar disorder

It’s Cold and I’m hurting

Bloody temp was suppose to go up to at least 40 degrees but never made it passed 33 degrees all day. And the wind has been horrible. At the train station while waiting for the bus, it was like a wind tunnel. You could barely open the doors the wind was so strong. I opted to take a different bus home because they had an entire class of 2^nd or 3^rd graders waiting for my bus that I usually take. HELL NO. They were so damn noisy. I still made it home in time but I got sick when I came home. I think I might be having withdrawals from my pain meds because I am out of them. The script is ready now, I just have to pick it up but the world is fricken spinning when I stand up. I nearly fell when I came up to my room. How I managed not to fall over while undressing and changing into my PJs is beyond me. Now I have to go back out again and I really don’t want to. I had to take a strong pain pill because if I am in withdrawal, I figure something is better than nothing. I never went a full 24 hour period without taking at least one pill. And running out isn’t my fault. I should have had my script Friday but because of the change in my pharmacy’s damn policy, I am made to suffer. The pharmacist is going to hear about this. I will need to know if my doc needs to write a diagnosis on future scripts or not. Such a pain in the ass.

My cousins from Texas visited my aunt today so I got to see them. It was nice talking to them. I haven’t seen them since last year. I used to visit them when they lived in DC but they moved to Texas earlier this year. My cousin works for Exxon/Mobil and moved back to headquarters I guess. They used to live there for a long time before going to DC. They now have two cats which are adorable. Last time he sent me pics, they were kittens.

I got some upsetting news from my psychiatrist today. She will be having her hip replaced because her hip never healed right after the fall she took last year. I feel so bad for her. She will be out of the office from Dec 11 till the first week in Jan. She said she will keep in touch via email. I hope so. I care for her so much. I hope she recovers well. She gave me my scripts that I will need in her absence. The hospital will be going to a new electronic system and she won’t be able to print out scripts from home for my Ativan. That will totally stink. But I can’t fill it yet as it will be too early. I just filled it two weeks ago but she rather me have the script now than with the new system. She is too funny when she was describing all the clicking involved. I am sure she will get the hang of it like she did the old system when it was new. Still, I won’t see her before the holidays and that is sad. I guess when you need a new hip, you need a new hip.

I haven’t told my therapist yet. I figure I will tell her tomorrow when I walk with her. We don’t have that much to talk about tomorrow, other than how the holidays went. I barely remember it. I know one thing, I will never buy food before a holiday again. I don’t know what I was thinking. I was telling my psychiatrist that I had a hard time deciding what to eat because I have so much stuff. I feel like giving it away. I am just one person. Other than my powerade, steak, and butternut squash, there is nothing more that I really want. I ate a breakfast sandwich at Starbucks today and that was all I ate. I am still full from that one sandwich. I should have something to eat as I didn’t have lunch. I just don’t know what to have. Maybe that is why I am dizzy too. I haven’t had anything to drink either. I just had my mocha this morning. I have been trying to drink Powerade but it’s slow going because I have no thirst. I am a mess. I blame the depression. If only I could lose some weight instead of gaining it, but I just am not active enough. Stupid ankle.

Feeling blah on a Sunday

Surprisingly, I slept about 7 hours last night. I didn’t wake up till around 0830, but I woke up a few times because I was in pain. Luckily, just changing position helped. I woke up and there was pain again but I figured I might as well get up. I had something to eat but I felt like crap. I went back to bed. Then my mother called me to see if I was going to Walgreens. She goaded me into picking up her prescription. I really didn’t want to leave the house. A few hours later, my sister called me to babysit so I had no choice but to go to Walgreens and then babysit. The walking was a bad idea. It was cold out, a lot colder than I was expecting despite the sun being out.

I watched my niece until my brother in law came home. I made some lunch and then started this blog. I just really feel out of it and I just want to sleep. There isn’t a football game until 2030, well one that I really want to see. I am following the baseball chatter on Twitter and I am not liking what I am hearing. The asshole David Price wants 7 yrs/210 million. I really don’t think the sox will pay for that as he sucks in the post season. I really do not want him in a Sox uniform. I just don’t think he will fit in because he and David Ortiz doesn’t get along.

I don’t know why I am so sleepy today. I haven’t taken any pain medications, yet. I have really low energy, indecision galore, and just a blah feeling. It took me almost an hour to decide what I wanted to make for lunch. I bought so much food and I just couldn’t pick one. I might have some yogurt later. I am still hungry but I really want to nap. I wish I could write all of this for my disability paperwork. Maybe I will attach the heart full of pain blog.

I got a tweet from the Jobes lab today. They finally read my tweet that I sent them about the blog I wrote about Dr. Jobes. They said they will make sure he sees it. I hope he likes it.

I think for my birthday, when I go out with my sisters, I am going to have a 7 and 7. I have been wanting to try this combo. I’ve never had it before. I want one drink, at least. It’s doesn’t feel like Sunday to me. It’s 1500, and I am going back to sleep. I can’t keep my eyes open any longer.