Tag: CRPS

Saturday Blog 18 November 2017

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Saturday Blog 18 November 2017

I had a busy day. I woke up early, no thanks to my fricken cousin who wanted to return something to my mother. He woke her up for her to go downstairs and let him in. I was wondering what I was going to do today. I decided that I needed to change my sheets. I wanted to put on a hospital blanket because sometimes the comforter is too warm as my room gets really hot now that my mother turns the heat up. It needed to be washed so I cleared off the washer and put it in. Then I made breakfast. I made oatmeal pancakes. They were good.

My next adventure was to go to the square to get some gluten free flour and some eggs as we were running low. The flour was expensive. For a small bag, it was like $4.59 and I don’t think it was even a pound of flour. I hope my sister’s mother in law likes this cake I will be making for her. She is always picky because she has celiac disease, which I understand but she is such a bitch about it. My mother makes desserts that she can’t have so I wanted to make something for her that she can have. She can take it home with her, if she likes it, as I won’t eat two cakes. I am making a regular one as well. I plan on making the gluten free one first and then use the regular flour. This way I only have to wash the mixing bowl once.

After I got my two things, I went to the bus stop and missed it by like 5 minutes. The next one wasn’t for another fricken hour. I caught the bus to the Hill and waited for the bus home there. My ankle was hurting so I didn’t want to wait at a bus stop.

I came home and rested for a little while before clearing off my bed. My mother had folded the blanket so I brought it upstairs. Once my bed was clear of my “office”, I took the bedding off. Then I wrestled with the clean sheets on my bed. My back was killing me and my ankle was being a fuck. I wanted a shower but knew my ankle would divorce me if I took it then. I was so wiped out that I took a nap. My mother called me around 1430 but I didn’t pick up as I was so damn tired. She wasn’t feeling well as her sugar dropped. She had taken some pain meds for her back and it made her sick. Poor thing has been puking everything she eats. Her sugar has stayed low. I’ll check on her throughout the night.

After I woke up, I decided to take a shower. I was sweating as my room got hot and I was really warm under the blankets. I have the window open but no cold air was coming through. After I finished my shower, my brother in law came up to look at my ceiling fan as it has been making noise. He said the motor is going, which I suspected. I have been using it so much this year. Now I need to get a new one. I shopped online for one to get an idea on the price. He told me which kind to get. He said it would be $40. HA. NOT! I wanted one with a remote. Home Depot didn’t have any that came with one within my price range so I checked Lowes. I found a nice one for $123. A little bit out of my range but it looks really nice and comes with a light dome. I didn’t want one like the one I had which was 4 light bulbs. I have a small room and just use 2 bulbs that are energy efficient. I am going to check Amazon to see if they have the fan I want at Lowes. Maybe I can get a cheaper price. My bro in law said he will install it for me. I just hope it is sooner rather than later. He takes his time doing things and I really can’t be without a ceiling fan. I cannot tolerate heat at all. I rather be cold.

I had to cut my budget expenses to pay for this fan. I won’t be eating out at all this month and because my next check comes after Christmas, I won’t be able to get anyone any gifts. I feel bad about this. Every year is the same. Last year I was able to get gifts for my sisters and their kids, and my bro in law and mother. This year it won’t be happening. I still need to repair my screen that I broke, but that won’t be until next pay period. I don’t think it will be that expensive. I just hope they can go by the frame as that is still intact. Otherwise, my brother in law will have to measure for a new one.

feeling more hopeless after my neuro appt

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Feeling more hopeless after my neuro appt

I woke up around 330 in pain. It was a hard decision whether to try and go back to sleep or stay up. I decided to go back to sleep and paid for it as I woke up late. I had just enough time to brush my teeth and get dressed before catching the bus. It was cool out and the sun had not shown itself yet. I just wore my glasses but brought along my sunglasses as I knew it would show itself later.

I went to Starbucks and had breakfast with espresso. I wasn’t in too much pain, but then I usually am not that time of the morning. Because I left late, it left no time for writing. After I finished eating, I left for the train station. I was feeling nervous and didn’t know what to expect. I would know soon enough.

I got to the neuro’s office and checked in with about 10 minutes to spare. The train was crowded so I had stood most of the way. My foot didn’t like it. After the medical assistant took my vitals, I waited for the doc. He was a few minutes late but he came. I explained what had happened and that I was hoping he could confirm the CRPS diagnosis. That’s where things got tricky. Because I have a previous nerve injury, I don’t have the “typical” signs of CRPS. When I told him that cramps had set off my pain, he became under the impression that the cramps had cut off blood supply to my nerve in my foot/ankle and thus I was diagnosed with nerve injury, not CRPS. He tested my foot and showed me the nerve branch he thinks is affected. Unfortunately, the area is not likely to show up on an EMG and the test itself could cause a significant flare up. He ordered some blood work and a special bone scan to either confirm or deny CRPS, but he thinks it is just a nerve injury. He started naming some medications that I never heard of. Only two I hadn’t tried. I can’t repeat them because he said them so fast and my knowledge of the class and what they would treat was limited. He said the treatment for the nerve injury and CRPS would be the same. I guess that is good. He didn’t really say what that treatment was, however. He is going to wait for the blood work and bone scan results to go over things with me.

I was stunned and left feeling deflated. I didn’t know what to think. I got my blood drawn and then headed home, hoping I would catch the 0930 bus. I did. The first person that I talked to about this was a friend on Twitter. I didn’t go into much detail, just summarized for her. I also told my CRPS group that I will let them know when I can process it and that it wasn’t good. I emailed my psychiatrist, who is not heavy into diagnoses anyway. She said that maybe it’s not a matter of what it is called but how it is treated. She wants me to get relief, which is what I want, too. I was hoping that I would get diagnosed properly and then finally be able to get on a longer acting pain med. Now that doesn’t seem likely. I don’t know if I will be able to continue on my pain meds. I’ll really be upset and suicidal if this happens.

I ordered McDonalds as comfort food and then took a much needed nap. My foot cramped for a few minutes before I finally woke up. I was hot as I shut off the ceiling fan and I needed to go to the bathroom. My mother made something and it smelled horrible. It was asparagus and eggs. I felt nauseous. I went to the bathroom and then went back up to my room.

My cousin had called me about an hour after I got home. She invited me to her house on Saturday for some painting thing. I told her it would depend on how I feel. My sister is going so if I feel up to it, I will catch a ride with her. We had a good talk. She is accepting of my being transgender and is happy that I am moving in that direction. She just wants me to be happy. She also told me to look into weed for pain control. I told her I was scared because I had a bad experience when I was a teen. I really don’t know if I can take it as I am under a pain contract with my PCP. I will need to discuss it with him. I rather take a pill than smoke it. I don’t know if it will be effective. Some people have found it to help them. She explained to me the different kinds. I just yes’d her. MJ is now legal in my state. If anything, I think using CBD oil might help so I can put the stuff directly on the area that hurts. It’s something down the line. I really want to try Kratom but need to research it more as there are different strains just like MJ as well as not so potent places that sell it.

I thought next week was pay week but it’s not, it’s the week after. I am bummed because I really want to replace my screen on my laptop. It’s getting worse and I don’t think it will last till December. I got to take it apart again and take a pic to send to my computer friend. The wire that connects the screen is securely taped. I’m not sure if I remove it, I need to put it back in place. Just another headache.

Tomorrow I see my psych after not seeing her for a month. It’s an early morning appt and because there is a funeral processesion going on in the late morning, I need to go home a different way. That is going to be fun. I just hope I remember.

drained and knackered

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Drained and knackered

I woke up around 4 because I had to pee and to take more pain meds. I had such an awful night. Around 2300, I had paged my psych because I was going out of my tree and I needed to hear her voice. She called me back right away and I told her what was going on. I told her I wanted a prescription for hope and she laughed. I was feeling so hopeless it wasn’t funny. I had posted something on Twitter and someone reported it as if I were in danger to myself. I think I know who it was and blocked him. I was so pissed because I couldn’t use my account until I answered their questions. I have removed my Twitter posts to write to Facebook. I just don’t need the hassle.

I got up and dressed to go to PT (separate blog). I was drained by the time I got there. I got some coffee and a donut. I bought some pumpkin donuts but I didn’t feel like eating them. I will have them for breakfast tomorrow morning when I get to Starbucks. I really didn’t do anything in PT, we just talked about different things and she gave me a list of things she wants me to do.

I got home and I wanted nothing more than to take a nap but it was too late. I needed to eat something but I had no idea what. I finally settled on some sliders. It helped wake me up some. I was ready to fall asleep so I decided to shower. Not a good idea. My ankle gave out after I had rinsed off. I was in a lot of pain. I just took some pain meds so I hope I’m not up all night in pain. I got the appt with the neurologist tomorrow morning and it would be good if I am sleep deprived. I told the PT that I really want this neuro to put it in my medical record that I have CRPS because my PCP doesn’t believe anyone. It’s so annoying because I have more than just chronic ankle pain.

The brace clinic got back to my PT and I need to get a script for a brace from my PCP. She wanted me to call my insurance because I had an AFO they won’t pay for another brace within 5 years. I didn’t get my AFO through my Medicare, which is what I am using for everything these days. So I don’t think there is going to be a problem.

I’m ready to throw my laptop against the wall. I’ve had to adjust the screen multiple times to get it right. I so need another screen. Two weeks and I can get a new one. I hope it solves the issue and it’s not the wire itself that surrounds the screen. That will be tougher to replace. If this doesn’t solve the issue, I will get a new laptop. I will buy Microsoft Office 2016. I am currently using Office 2010 so it’s time for an upgrade. I love this laptop but it is getting old and I don’t want more things breaking on it should the wire need replacing because I will have to take everything out to get to the part. Sucks the way they have constructed it like that.

PT Blog

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, chronic physical pain, depression

PT blog,

I had PT today and she is really good. We talked about things like flares, positions that set off pain, etc. Today we talked about desensitization. She wants me to put something soft, like a pillow case or cotton ball on the areas of my foot/ankle that are problematic. I only put it on for a few seconds before moving on to another area. I go up and down, where I hurt and where I don’t and then move on to something else, like the smoothness of a plastic pen. She was really specific with me. I told her the area that I would have trouble reaching due to my range of motion due to my back injury and she said I could skip it for now. The next thing to move on after these items was a towel as that is a rougher surface. After I get used to this kind of touching (you need to do it, not someone else), the next step is to depress the item for a few seconds. If it causes you more pain or flare ups, DON’T DO IT! She stressed that for me.

She also went over the results of the Recognise app (found on Android/iPhone). It is a paid app but worth it. She said that at this point my brain needs to be retrained to distinguish my left and right. At first I didn’t do well as I thought I would for the basic test. I got better and she showed me how to change the parameters as I find it easy. It is a cool app and when I am bored I use it as well as a few other times a day as my homework. I strongly advise getting this.

I brought up some issues that I like to do, like standing more for 10 minutes in the shower or being able to make a small meal, like pancakes, without having to sit every few minutes. We went over my back injury and she wants to help with that. I cringed as anything to do with back exercises don’t usually work for me because it seems like I work on one set of muscles and another set goes off in rebellion. So either way I am in pain.

We decided to work once a week and if I need a break, that is okay too. I see her till mid November. I’ll let you know how it goes.