Tag: migraine

Pic/meme

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, CRPS, depression, disability

I got my haircut today. I’ve been up since 4am. I had a hard time sleeping. Then I just decided to stay up. I asked my psychiatrist about increasing the mirtazepine and he agreed. I’ll put the increase in tomorrow’s box when I do the meds for the week.

My ankle still hurts but not as bad as last night. I am tired. I made the steak for dinner. I cooked it too much. It was a thick piece and well I am still learning. It’s not often I make steak. If it wasn’t raining I would have grilled it. My knees have been aching most of the day. It is cool but the rain is making things muggy.

I read a chapter in the Critical Suicidology book and wrote a message to my therapist. Problem was it was too long for the stupid web message so I had to take a pic of it and send it. I don’t know if it will be readable. I have the document saved in case she wants to read it for Monday’s appt.

I miss my mother. I’ve been wanting to call her the past couple of hours. It has been tough. I never thought I would miss her phone calls asking what I was doing or where I was. I came straight home after seeing my barber. I had no plans today. I might go south of Boston tomorrow to visit my cousin. It’s been a long time since we last saw each other. I hope I don’t get a migraine because of the rain. I told my cousin it will depend on how I feel. I am glad they are understanding. I hate canceling at last minute because I don’t feel well. But that is life with chronic illness.

Another crappy day, another migraine

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, depression

I woke up around 430 to pee and went back to sleep. I had the longest dream about being on the orange line waiting for a train. I kept walking around and there was a syringe there where trans people could donate T. I tweeted the docs who were apparently doing this and then I decided to hold on to the syringe for safe keeping. Meanwhile trains were running but none were stopping or opening the door to get in. I finally realized I was on the wrong platform. I then boarded a train but it was going around the wrong way. I woke up with such a severe headache I couldn’t move. My alarms went off and I cringed from the noise. My head hurt so much. I finally decided to get up to take a migraine med. I then went downstairs for coffee. After I finished the cup, I realized I didn’t take my morning meds so I went back to my room. I took them and then just stayed there. I felt like crap. The migraine was gone but there is this pressure around my head. I call it the aftershocks of a migraine.

My pcp office called. A nurse I don’t know left a message asking how I was and to either call back or leave a web message. I left a web message. I checked the weather app to see if there was going to be stormy or rainy and there is neither. It’s just a cloudy muggy day. I need to go to the library to pick up my book. I might go to Starbucks for another coffee and start reading it. That is if I can manage a stupid shower. I have no energy but am pushing myself to do things.

I grabbed some clean clothes and headed toward the bathroom. My nephew was in there so I decided to make a sandwich and more coffee. I really hadn’t eaten much yesterday. I really wasn’t hungry but knew I needed to eat. I’ve been on this weird kick where one day I will eat and next I won’t. I am trying to lose weight but have nothing to show for it. My stomach is causing such dysphoria. I hate my body, part of the reason I hate showering is because I hate seeing me naked. I really didn’t know how fat I was until the chest things were gone. Part of me just wants to starve myself to lose the weight but I love food too much to give it up. I usually just eat one thing a day and not even a huge meal. Just a sandwich or some eggs. Something with protein so I am not so hungry.

I am trying to get myself in the shower. I was going to groom and might still do it. I’m not sure if I am going to shave my face or not. I might shave under my chin and neck. I am still experimenting with my beard. I am trying not to go back to my room because I know I will just lay down and sleep the afternoon away. I think my nephew left so I have the house to myself. Now I just need energy to do what I need to do…

another storm, another migraine

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

I woke up with yet another headache that turned into a migraine. It is the fifth migraine I’ve had over the last few weeks, the second one this week alone. I emailed my neurologist and she said it could be because of the barometric pressure changes due to the storms we’ve been having. I didn’t think of that. I know my pain has been crazy and my back hurt again this morning. I’m glad I emailed her as I was getting worried something more was going on.

After I ate and the migraine settled, I changed my sheets. Because the elastic on my sheets went, I will be giving them to a friend that can use the material. I’ll ship it out to her my next pay period. I am glad someone can use them. My back had a fit with the fitted sheet. I swear, as I have many time, that I am going to get a home help person just to change my sheets. My back hurts so much when it is done and takes me a few hours to recover. I know my sisters would be like, yeah, they can also clean my room, but I like my room the way it is. It is organized my way, though it does need a little decluttering. I keep saying I am going to organize my clothes better but my pain has been so out of control that it’s been next to impossible to actually do this. I also found some videos on how to make the clothes fold smaller to they can be better organized. Trick is actually learning how to do it. I’m sure I’ll have to watch the video many times to get the hang of what I am doing.

I’ve been trying to do my expenses for the month so I can get new glasses. I think I will have to save for at least two months, maybe three as I freed up around $200. I want to get the good lenses as the ones I’ve been getting haven’t been that great and I have to clean my glasses nearly every day, some times more if I accidently touch the lens. I’m glad this is just a yearly expense though, sometimes every two if my prescription doesn’t change much.

I’ve been listening to Burning House by Cam the past hour or so. The song is just mesmerizing. The lyrics don’t really make sense but the music is what I like, and obviously, Cam’s voice. I might get her album when I get paid next. Mary Chapin Carpenter is coming out with a new album at the end of the month. I can’t wait to get it. I have most of her albums as she is my all time favorite female artist. Her voice calms me when I am in an aggravated or anxious mood. Doesn’t really matter what song she sings, she always calms me down. Her orchestral album is the only one I don’t have on her playlist because some of the songs start off really low and then become really loud. Not the type of thing to hear when you want to calm down! I wish she had a tour stop at the Boston Symphony or Longwood Symphony. That would have been so fricken cool. I haven’t been to the Boston Symphony Hall in a very long time. My older friend has season tickets so he goes every Saturday during the season.

The storm is supposed to end sometime tomorrow afternoon so I am not planning on going out. My mother said that it snowed this morning but when I got up, there was nothing but wet ground. It is only raining right now as it’s currently just 36 degrees. If the temp drops, it will snow. Some places have already had over an inch of snow, but that is south of me. I just hope I don’t wake up in back pain tomorrow morning. I could barely move this when the pain woke me up at 6. Fricken sucks. I am glad it went away. I wouldn’t have been able to change my sheets.

Atypical migraines are so much fun

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, mood disorders, physical pain

I didn’t have the best sleep. Woke up in pain, the same pain I’ve been having the last three days. I managed to go back to sleep for a few hours. Then I got up to use the bathroom and brush my teeth. Decided to make breakfast even though it was noon. It came out alright. I was debating making coffee but thought I would go back to sleep. My ankle was still being a fuck. Bearing weight just killed me as did any movement. It was close to 1230 by the time I finished breakfast. I decided to go to the Square to get a haircut, my Casi Cielo, and burgers for tonight and then pick up my prescriptions.

I was kind of early for the bus so had to wait. It was cold and sunny. I had to wear my Sox hat because the sun was in my eyes. The wind made it feel colder than it was. The bus came and I got to the Square. I went to my barber’s shop. He was available so I didn’t have to wait. I showed him a cut I wanted rather than the usual one i get. It looked really good. I like it.

I then went Starbucks and got two bags of my coffee. I wanted a cup of that coffee but they didn’t have it for the day. I was bummed. I had a mocha instead. I didn’t stay too long as the next bus was coming. I went to the butcher shop for burgers. I also looked at the cod. It was 12 bucks for a pound and a half. I got it. I really wanted fish. I walked back to the bus stop and waited.

Bus came and then I went to Walgreens. I thought they would have the invega that was out of stock yesterday but it didn’t come in today. They said it could be tomorrow and if not call them and they can shop around for where I can get it. I was bummed. I started to feel dizzy but it was manageable. I walked home. The package my friend in Canada sent me arrived. I got the mail and brought it all upstairs. My mother wasn’t home. She was down her sister’s. I put the stuff away and then brought my package upstairs. The dizziness got a little worse as I climbed the stairs.

I opened the box and it had a lot of things. Two mugs, a journal, a cute stuffed giraffe, and a Canadian towel. Chocolate too! I was so happy. It made my day.

My mother came home and I was getting a little hungry. Maybe that was why I was dizzy. I made us dinner and the dizziness got worse. I went up to my room and the big light hurt my eyes. Took me a little while to realize it was a migraine. I took my migraine meds. I feel better but am wicked tired, which is typical after a migraine. I wish I could sleep but I got to stay up for my grocery delivery. It is coming soon, I hope.

I made a list of things I need to do tomorrow. If I get 2 of the 4 done I’ll be happy. I am glad I figured out the dizzy spells were of migraine activity than something else. Hate it that I have atypical migraines. Here I was thinking it was a withdrawal of some med but I have been taking all my meds and have not been skipping doses. So weird. I am glad it is sorted out now. Now I know what to do the next time it happens.