validation and connectedness

val·i·date

/ˈvæl ɪˌdeɪt/ Show Spelled [val-i-deyt] Show IPA

verb (used with object), val·i·dat·ed, val·i·dat·ing.

1. to make valid; substantiate; confirm: Time validated our suspicions.

2.to give legal force to; legalize.

3.to give official sanction, confirmation, or approval to, as elected officials, election procedures, documents, etc.: to validate a passport.   

Taken from dictionary.com

 

This is the long version of what it means to be validated. That is what every suicidal person wants. To have that understanding and human connectedness of being validated, that they are not crazy or being patronized but what they are feeling. Without this essential human feeling, we feel we are being criticized and judged no matter how much sympathy or empathy is shown.

I recently posted a couple of vents about mental illness on my blog. I was looking for validation in what I was saying. And someone, a good friend of mine, gave me that, because she feels the same way I do about how damned the mentally ill can feel. To be validated in this sense is that she understood where I was coming from. She didn’t horseshit around the topic to try and make me feel better. She went on her own tyrant of feelings about the subject and that made me feel better.

But the best comment I got today was from a fellow blogger who thanked me for continuing to live because it gave him or her hope to do the same. That is why I write this blog. That is why I try to make this blog as painful as I feel it because I know someone out there is going to read it and feel the same way. And in that sense, he or she will hopefully feel connected to the world and want to stay in it long enough to do whatever.

2 thoughts on “validation and connectedness

  1. I am so thankful that you share these deep and even the dark posts with us in the midst of your pain. I wish that I had the answers to make everything better for everyone. I know I do not. Sometimes I can relate too well to the things that you are writing about. Other times my heart just aches that these are the cards of life you have been given. I will never meet you in person or know who you are. I just wanted to you to know that someone is listening and reading your posts. Thank you for your insight.

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