Patriots won!!

Patriots won!

The Pats won, 35-14. I am glad that changing my profile pics on Facebook, twitter and IG didn’t jinx them. I was worried because every time I do, usually they lose. But the Titans were not a strong team. I think they lost gas as the game wore on because the first quarter their defense was hard to get through. No sacks though, so that was good. Tomorrow’s games will tell who we will be playing next week.

My foot and ankle are killing me right now and every thing in between. I am so tired but pain is keeping me up. I thought about reading but the chapters are long and I would hate to be in the middle of one then forget where I left off. I like to read a chapter or stop at a gap midway. I will try and read later today. I figure if I read at least two books a month, that is 24 books, which will meet my challenge I have for the year. I really need to set time limits on my social media. Maybe using a timer will help. If anyone has any suggestions, I am all ears.

My sister made chicken cacciatore tonight. It wasn’t good. She used a lot of garlic. I hate garlic. I don’t mind the flavor in stuff but not in cacciatore. My mother doesn’t use it when she makes it. It was okay otherwise. She also made chicken soup. I might have some tomorrow. It’s going to be cold the next few days so it will be nice to have something hot.

While I was watching the game, I looked at the French press to see if the glass was cracked. I kind of noticed the lid was not securely on so that might be the problem. I put water in and it poured from the spout without any problems. So weird.

I have noticed that the past few days, despite my pain being all over the place, my suicidality has not been around. I don’t really know what triggers it or makes me feel so low. I know night time is the worst time for me as my mood dips and I can feel really hopeless. Add severe pain and it is a nice recipe for suicidal thoughts. I think being back on Zoloft has stabilized my mood a little bit. I wish it helped my pain but it that is not it’s function.

I had emailed my PT to ask her about if getting movement back in my ankle is a worthwhile task. She said it was and that more movement helped to decrease CRPS pain. She said she will talk more about it when she sees me next. I was going to do some exercises she gave me today but pain stopped me from doing anything. I will try tomorrow. I just need to get a sheet.

Published by

G. Collerone

suicide attempt survivor writing about the hopelessness that accompanies depression that no one likes to talk about. also writing about my daily struggle with chronic pain and how it affects my suicidality

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