Sunday Blog 1-July-18

Sunday Blog 1 July 18

Can’t believe it is fricken July already. Like where did the year go?? 3 days I go south of Boston to see my friends. I found the bag I want to pack. It had my power cord for my laptop that needs to be repaired. On it was a dead mouse! ICK!!!! Freaked me out. I got a glove and a tissue and ewwwww got the poor thing off and in the trash. Guess that was the bad smell in my room a couple months ago. I lysol’d the shit out of the bag. Now I got to make sure it doesn’t smell and then I will pack my things in it. There was nothing else dead or alive in it. Just my fuzzy slippers and a bottle of water.

I made cornbread pancakes. They were really good. I made like 7 of them. Well, really like 5 as two fell apart. I am not a good pancake flipper. I also burned two. Not sure I will make them again. They were so filling. I probably am going to have dinner late. I plan on making the pulled pork. That seems good on a nice hot day. I’ll throw a can of soda in the fridge.

Came back to my room and wanted to read Neverwhere. I read a chapter and then had to stop. I want to read at least another two more. I have to do it in shifts because the book is weird. Typical Gaiman. But it is not scary so I am grateful for that. I don’t do scary. Weird is okay.

My infrared thermometer came. I have been playing with it. Then I found out I wasn’t doing it right. Oh well. I had to turn the AC on high as it was getting warm in my room. It is so hot out that I want to be freezing. The house is worse as it doesn’t have AC at all. I need to shower but I think I will do it after dinner. My cousin is having a BBQ but didn’t tell me about it so I won’t be going. My mother is not because she is in too much pain with her knees. I told her I was going to make the pulled pork. It is too sweet for her. It tends to be too much for me. I can make about three sandwiches out of it. I don’t mind having it for a couple of days. It is so good. I also have baby back ribs but it is too hot for the oven. If I knew how to operate the grill, I would grill them. Maybe my sister or brother in law will show me this year how to operate it.

My mother bought Italian ice. It was so good on this hot day. I told her to avoid the back stairs leading outside because my idiot brother in law has the mulch piled higher than the grass so it is like an additional step after the last step. I nearly fell. I sent my brother in law a text about it.

I participated in the BPD chat. I said a couple of things but it wasn’t that interesting today. I had a hard time identifying with the others. Topic was self-identity. I found it interesting as I did struggle through my teens and early twenties about who I was. I think getting a debilitating nerve condition helped sort things out or put things in perspective. It took a while to realize who I was and how to live my life as that person. Then when I came out as transgender, I realized all along I was a male but I just didn’t have the words for it. And it was a chief source of my suicidality and I didn’t realize it. It took me a long time to move forward with transition. Unfortunately, it is going no where because I have decided to end things.

It is getting late and I just realized I didn’t do my meds for the week. I also want to get a few more chapters of Neverwhere in before meds make me dopey. Later all.

any thoughts?

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