Hurricane by Luke Combs

Hurricane by Luke Combs

Fricken love this song. It is I think his first hit. I must have listened to it over a thousand times. Then when his album came out, I listened to One Number Away and it still stands as one of my top 25 songs on my MP3 player. I love Luke Combs music. His voice is just all country, something that is missing in today’s radio. I was listening to the country radio station last night and I had to shut it off because it was the SAME music I heard the night before. I don’t know what it is about Florida Georgia Line in spelling their new song they release but it is getting old. Their latest new song is SIMPLE and it is lame.

I saw my psychiatrist today. I told her my therapist and I are working on a way to keep me alive even though I don’t want to be. He understands it is my overwhelm and flares that are triggering my planning dates and feeling immensely suicidal and trapped. I was in pain before I saw my psych. My ankle bone was acting up. I took my BT med and an hour later I was drowsy, even though I just had 5 shots espresso. I think I need to cut back on the shots because my stomach had a hard time afterwards. I think I am just going to have 4 shots and see how I do. I didn’t put a lot of soy in, so that maybe why it caused some discomfort.

My psych was telling me about a dog named George that talked. I forget the exact title she gave me but I think I found the video on YouTube. It was so funny. I had seen it before but it is always fun to see again. She then emailed me saying she wanted labs. Shit. And they have to be fasting. UGH. I hate fasting labs. I’ll probably get it sometime next week, though I am not sure when. I will have to make sure I don’t eat after 9 pm and then get my blood drawn the day, if I don’t have the night from hell. She gets the labs done because it is a yearly thing with the Invega to make sure it isn’t doing funny stuff to my lipids or setting off diabetes. She probably ordered another chem 7 to check my glucose and sodium again. Fun stuff.

I was in agony with my damn ankle bone. It was hurting me so much. And there are such rude people on the train. Here I am with a brace on each leg and these two women raced on the train to the disabled seating. I was pissed. Luckily there was a seat available next to one of them and I didn’t care that my ass cheek touched the woman next to me. Tough shit. My bus home was late and I had to go to the pharmacy before going home. I bought some chimichangas for dinner and some ice cream sandwiches. My mother didn’t like it as it was too chocolatey. More for me! The house was so hot because my lunatic aunt had shut the back door because “it was letting the heat in”. Fucking moron. I couldn’t believe she was still there. Then my sister and I found out why. She didn’t want to leave my mother alone. I knew she felt like my mother was an invalid. Made my sister and I mad. She doesn’t need to be babysat. She is an adult and needs to do stuff on her own in order to get better. Waiting on her is not going to help her. I am just glad she left when we came home. I had to leave early because she was annoying the fuck out of me this morning, fucking yelling at the TV being stupid. I know I yell at the TV when I watch sports but she yells at every show she watches! That is just absurd!!

I am going to try and rest this weekend but I need to do laundry as the hamper is full. It is mostly towels and my clothes as I was pretty sweaty this week. I hope it is going to be cooler next week. Next Saturday I was supposed to go on a Booze Cruise but there is no way I can manage with being in two braces. The stairs are narrow and I don’t want to risk I fall. I went last year and loved it so much but it was hard to manage with my AFO going up and down the stairs. I feel sad that I can’t make it and see my beautiful town I live and grew up in on the water. I am sure my sister will post pics. I will tell her to take pics so I can steal them, LOL. I love Boston so much. I really want to go to the Boston Harbor Cruise. I have never been to Thompson’s Island or Spectacle Island in Boston Harbor. I really love George’s Island because there is the fort that was built during the Civil War that is still there, even though it is crumbling. Some parts of the fort you cannot have access to because it is collapsing. It is cool but I can’t walk around like I used to. It would be nice to bring a lunch and my chair and just sit on the grass and see the water around the island. I love the water. It calms me down. I miss my home town so much, which had the harbor on one side and Chelsea Creek on the other. It was really cool. I miss walking so much. I know that I would lose so much weight if I was able to walk like I used to. But the town I am living in now has too many hills and it is exhausting walking just to the pharmacy. I am lucky if I can walk around the block to go to the Post Office some days.

I start another round of PT next week. My only appt of the week. Monday I see family and hope to go swimming in my cousin’s pool. Depends on the weather and how I feel. She has an inground pool. I can’t wait to see them. I have to remember to bring my BT meds with me. They make me really drowsy so I hope I don’t have to use them.

any thoughts?

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