oh what a fun weekend

Oh what a fun weekend

On Friday, my mother made fish. I went down to have some and spied some noodles my sister had brought home from work. I had a couple of forkfuls. Then I had the fish. While I was eating the fish, my throat started feeling funny. I asked my sister if there was ginger in the noodles. There was. Oh shit. I immediately went for some Benadryl as I am allergic to ginger. Two hours later, I was still having symptoms of a reaction so I asked my other sister to take me to the ER. I stayed like 6-7 hours as they saw me right away. I had lost my voice by the third hour. I was given meds and even though I still had laryngitis, I could go home. I was also given a script for an epi-pen so I guess I need to carry it around with me. I took some more Benadryl when I was home and slept.

I had already had plans to meet up with some friends Saturday night. I wasn’t feeling 100% and my voice was definitely not better. I had a fun time with my friends. We all ate too much and I knew I wasn’t going to eat the following day. I haven’t eaten that much in a month. It ended up giving me heartburn as I was severely constipated. I hate that. Luckily, I didn’t have to take anything on Sunday. I was so beat. I basically just used the bathroom and was sleeping. I had a good snooze until my med alarm woke me up. I didn’t want to get up so waited until the second alarm went off. The second alarm is to remind me to take Flonase as allergies have been so bad lately (not from food but from pollen). I got up to take my meds and was in a really foul mood. I kept emailing my psych on how poorly I was. I was just so suicidal and now that I know I have a bad reaction to ginger, it kind of makes me wonder if I would be able to asphyxiate due to ingesting some. I think even Walgreens sells like dehydrated ginger so it would be easy for me to get some.

Each exposure has been worse for me. This is my 3rd time exposed to ginger. Usually a day or two and I have my voice back. It has been three days and still nothing. I have been trying to rest it but with a hard of hearing mother, it is difficult. I only had one dose of Benadryl left so I had to get some more, hoping it would calm down my vocal cords. I was planning on going to therapy tomorrow but by 11, I realized I might not have a voice and I didn’t want to strain it for 50 mins trying to talk. I canceled the appointment and asked for a new one for next week.

My pcp was notified that I was in the ED. The hospital I was in just became part of the *lovely* new electronic medical record system known as EPIC, which sucks to the highest degree of suckiness. My pcp wants me to follow up with his nurse. I had sent him a message about being in the ED and requested a referral. I totally forgot about this. It must have been sometime after I got home and before I passed out. I just have been communicating with his office via email as I really can’t talk. I made an appointment for Friday afternoon with the nurse, an hour before my appointment with the new psychopharm. I am going to ask my psych if this is necessary as she will know where she will be. I don’t need any meds until next month. I can certainly wait until she is back and I am sure if I need something, she can call in a script. I know she wants me to see the new doc but I don’t see why I have to if it is just one or two visits. Other than being suicidal, I am stable on my meds, though I don’t want to be on Lamictal anymore. I don’t think it is helping me but then, I haven’t been hypomanic either. I also need to talk with the therapist because she has like three different bipolar diagnoses in my record.

Speaking of my record, last Tuesday I saw a urologist. It went okay, though I was more mentally shaken up because of the invasive testing than anything. The urologist told me what was wrong with my bladder and gave me a new medication for it. She also gave me some paperwork to read over. When I left the office, it had started to rain so I wasn’t able to read it. I sort of looked it over while on the train but nothing stood out until I really looked at it. It had listed one of my “problems/issues” as “female to male transgender person.” I flipped out and sent her a message to remove it. Due to the lovely EPIC system, she cannot. She sent a message to my pcp about this and assured me she didn’t see this as a problem with her. I have no idea how the fuck this ended up in the issues to begin with. Saturday, I received a message from her saying she made a note in my record about this, that it is not a problem just a glitch in the system. A HUGE glitch!

I have been feeling off most of the day. My eyes have been blurry at times trying to read stuff. I must have played Cam’s new song, La Marcheuse, for hours. I just love it even though I don’t understand a damn word because it is in French. I really just love listening to her voice. I also have been fighting a stupid migraine for most of the day, which is probably why my eyes are fucked. There also was construction being done at my sister’s apartment so it was really noisy this morning and probably will be again tomorrow. It’s nice waking up to hammering, not. I hope I feel better tomorrow. I am not sure I will have a voice. I really hope the allergic reaction didn’t damage the vocal cords. My throat doesn’t hurt but not being able to talk sucks.

any thoughts?

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