Saturday Blog 11042020

Saturday Blog 11042020

I haven’t been keeping track of the days. I knew my friend’s birthday was the 11th (today) and for some reason I thought it was the 12th so I sent him a belated birthday message. Then when the date popped up I realized it wasn’t a belated greeting after all. I felt dumb. My friend wasn’t mad as he has been having trouble with the days, too.

I have been sleeping most of the day. I just am so fricken tired. I wanted to go to the pharmacy to get my meds but there was no way. I am still waiting for the antibiotic to be ready and it isn’t. I might have my brother in law get it tomorrow for me if I don’t feel up to walking. I should be able to go tomorrow but this tiredness is so enveloping. It hurts to breath some times. I don’t think I have ever felt so exhausted when I woke up. I didn’t sleep good last night and kept on having weird dreams. I dreamt I was at some amusement park and got a whiskey and coke before seeing my psychiatrist. Then when I went to see my psychiatrist, she was not where I had last seen her but in a different room. It was so weird.

Ankle is really bothering me today. I can’t seem to block out the pain anymore today so gave in to take a pain med. I don’t know why I feel guilty taking them. That is what they are there for. I don’t take more than I need. I guess I am just judging myself with the meds for whatever reason. Maybe I will talk it over to my therapist on Monday. Might be some good talk if she can understand why I need to take my breakthrough meds. She doesn’t understand chronic pain because she hasn’t had experience with it.

Last night I was in a bad mood. I don’t really know what set it off. I tried writing about it but didn’t get very far with it. I got more upset that I couldn’t write than anything. My last blog talks a little about it but not much. I hate when I struggle to get my words out. It is so annoying.

The nurse practitioner gave me antibiotics for this UTI I have. She was reluctant to do so because there wasn’t much bacteria in my urine. I am just grateful because I hate peeing every fricken hour. I hope once I finish it, I don’t pee so frequently. If I do, I guess the surgery did something to make me go more. I just wish I could sleep through the night without having to wake up to pee. I think that is why I am so tired today because I woke up and it took me forever to get back to sleep. I didn’t drink too much today so I hope I don’t wake up in the middle of the night again.

any thoughts?

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