Chronic pain and therapist suicide experience

Chronic pain is a bitch

I woke up around seven this morning in pain. Instead of listening to it, I said fuck it, and went out today after my therapy appointment. I had to get out of the house to get a coffee and write. I am tired of looking at the walls in my room.

While I was up early, I checked my blog stats. Turns out my comparison of psychological pain scales was high at 3 views so I decided to send the link to the psyD I have been following on twitter. I really like this guy, not in a romantic way or anything of the sort, but as a person of interest in my interests. He talks a lot about GLBT issues and also of his dog. He has a basset hound. Though I am not really a dog person (I prefer cats), I do think basset hounds are pretty good. I could be wrong about the breed, as I only have seen one picture of her.

Anyways, I sent him my paper and he favorited it, which I hope in the twitter world, means like. I am so curious to see what he thinks of it. This is the second paper that I sent him. The first was my analysis of a song paper that talked about how to save a life. He blogs and today he sent out a blog about suicide. I read it later this morning after going back to sleep. I was sad to find out that he lost a patient to suicide a few years ago. He wrote about it in such a way that made me feel for him. He also wrote about how it was difficult to write because he didn’t want to violate his ethics of being a psychologist. There are several blogs about how he dealt with this loss. I haven’t had the chance to read them all, but I will because I think it is important to read. Not many therapists have the courage to acknowledge the loss of a patient, especially on the internet. It is such a sensitive topic for any therapist. I have read a lot about suicide and know that there is a 1 in 10 chance that a mental health professional will encounter a suicide in their practice at some point in their career. Out of the therapists that I have known where this guy works, I say he is the one. But I could be wrong. That percentage might be higher. Not all therapist deal with the loss. They may never want to treat a client again with suicidal tendencies. Or if they continue to see someone with suicidal thoughts, they may shift them to another therapist. Often, the therapist feels like a failure as my twitter friend wrote. But they are not failures. Suicide is a personal, private act. As suicidal as I have been over the years, I never wanted to share my thoughts because I was always afraid of being thrown in the hospital because of them. And after a dozen hospitalizations, I finally learned that if I wanted to keep out of the hospital, I had to stifle the urge to tell someone my thoughts. It became a lonely place. That is why in 2005, I shut down with my therapist and almost killed myself. That year was the closest I have ever been in my adult life, outside of the “chronic physical pain suicidal thoughts”. I say that is a distinction because I wasn’t in chronic physical pain then like I am today. I was deep in psychological pain. And I think that if my therapist hadn’t cried when I told her I was ending my life, I might have gone through with it, even though I told her what I was planning. I still had time to say “fuck you” and end it all, but her crying stopped me. It meant that I meant something to someone other than my dysfunctional family. I couldn’t kill myself knowing that I was going to cause her pain. Sure, she might have had a little post partum depression going on (she was finally back from maternity leave earlier that year) and my suicidal thoughts triggered a response I wasn’t expecting and also for her.

Saturday Blog 7

Saturday Blog 7

Woke up in pain early this morning. Then my stomach joined in the fun and I have been aching ever since. It is the worst gastritis I have had in quite some time. I have taken all the usual antacids you can take to quiet it down and nothing has helped. Eating makes it worse so I have been trying to not eat but I am hungry. I wish I could make some rice but I am so bad at it. I always burn it or overcook it. I need the 90 sec rice by Uncle Ben. I made the mistake last night of eating pizza around 9pm. It was very greasy pizza and it is still with me. My stomach did not like it as much as my taste buds did.

I did too much today but not in “normal” people terms. I stayed in. I haven’t left the house since Tuesday but I have been up and down the stairs most of the day as I just feel cooped up in my room. I also took a shower which inflamed my leg. It looks more like a tree trunk than a leg right now. So I am back in my bed, with the AC. It is really warm today. I don’t do well with heat. I haven’t since my nerve injury. I have become more intolerant over the years.

I haven’t pushed my book all week. It is hard being a self-promoter when you are in a lot of pain. I still have to send my book off for review. I am hoping that the AAS is kind to me. I also plan on donating a couple of books to my hometown library. It’s just a matter of getting there and right now walking is too difficult.

I still have not made my way to the pharmacy to refill my pain meds. Today was not a good day as I could barely walk between my stomach hurting and my leg flaring. I have been up since 4 and it sucks. I really hate hurting this much. I hope tomorrow will be a better day.

I stayed away from coffee today and elected to have chamomile tea this morning. It helped some, though not as much as I was expecting. I wish the stomach pains would go away. I really hate it hurting. If my stomach wasn’t hurting, I would have had coffee today. I really am getting into having it at home and that is making me stay at home more because why have coffee at Starbucks? It is making me more of a hermit. I hardly have reason to leave the house anymore. I know I am supposed to be resting, and I am for the most part. But not leaving the house for almost a week now is a record for me. I don’t have any doc appointments until the following week. I talk with my therapist on the phone because I don’t have a car to go out to see her. She is thirty miles away from me. She used to be in the next town over but as she moved along in her road, I have followed her.

I should, if the swelling in my leg is down, I will go out on Monday, or try to. I really miss having my Kati Kati iced coffee. It’s a coffee from Africa and I love it. Last summer it came out and it was so good. It is one of my favorites. I am NOT going to buy some for home because I really will never leave the house, unless I run out of half and half!

Daily living activities and pain

Daily living activities and pain

I made dinner tonight. Nothing extravagant. Just boiled some potatoes for potato salad and my mother made grilled cheese. The whole peeling the potatoes killed me even though I was sitting down while I peeled them. My foot just couldn’t take the pressure on the floor I guess. I must have stood maybe ten minutes to get the potatoes in a bowl and cool them off some so we could eat them. I made potato salad with vinegar as they were too hot for the traditional mayonnaise. I will make them tomorrow as we still have some potatoes left over.

I am in so much pain from doing a little cooking. I made myself breakfast this morning and it wasn’t as bad as it is right now. I can’t believe that just standing for a about 10-15 minutes caused my pain levels to explode. Granted I am not supposed to be doing any of this. I am supposed to be resting to get my swelling down but I just can’t stay in bed all day. I am really bummed out that doing something simple hurt me so bad. I was going to take a shower today but that is off the list.

I am supposed to go to the pharmacy tomorrow to drop off my prescription for my pain meds. I have no fucking idea how I am supposed to walk there when I am in this much pain. My sister has a graduation party to go to so it’s not like I can borrow her car or have her drive me. I am so doped up it’s probably good that I am not behind the wheel. I am going to have to force myself to walk the three blocks to the pharmacy tomorrow. I am not looking forward to it because I know I am going to be hurting. I might as well stay and wait to have it filled as I don’t want to pick up the script the next day. I will just be in the same position as I am in now. I still have to walk the three blocks either way.

My cousin called me today and pissed me off. He asked where have I been and said he left a message the other day. That is bullshit because I don’t have a call from him. I checked my phone log and the last time he called me was last week. I hate liars. Then he said maybe I didn’t get the message. That really ticked me off. I quickly got off the phone with him as I said I wasn’t in the mood to talk. But he would let me off the phone without knowing why I was so pissed off. UGH. I don’t know why I answered the phone to begin with!!

I finally got the number for the junk car company to remove my car in the driveway. Now I just have to make the call. LOL I was talking with my writing partner about this. My family has been hounding me to get rid of the car. I don’t know why. It’s not like it’s bothering anyone. But they just do it to annoy me. My sister even volunteered to call for me. But I got mad and said I would call, don’t be rushing me. I stormed out of the house and went back to my room. I have been in a lousy mood and it’s hard to call people when you are hurting. My family just doesn’t understand how much energy it take just for me to go down the stairs to pee. I hate being like this but this is what my life has become. I can’t do simple things anymore. I am just too depressed and overwhelmed. My family thinks it’s because I am lazy but I am not. I just am too overwhelmed with stuff. And I hate talking on the phone. I get worried that I might not get a good deal for the car and I will get screwed. One place already tried to get me at a lower price than what is advertised in the paper. I will call tomorrow. I have the paper by my bed and hopefully by noon, I will call one of the three numbers and see what I can get for the car.

I know my sister wants some money from me because she cleaned out the car. I didn’t ask her, she just did it on her own. It was nice of her to do it but I hate that she now wants money for it. No good deed goes unpunished, I guess.

I am really worried about one of my blogger friends. She is going through a rough time. I wish I could help her but she is across the country, on the west coast of the US. We chat usually late at night if I am up but my late at night is early evening for her. We have a three hour difference in time so it’s sometimes hard to arrange a chat. I just hope she gets through whatever she is going through without harming herself. She is talking about going back to the hospital as a defeat and I wish she didn’t think of it as that. She needs help and the hospital is there to help her. I think that is part of the stigma of having mental illness. People that are frequent visitors of the hospital take it as a personal setback of some kind when it shouldn’t be viewed as such. It’s reaching out and admitting you need help and that takes more courage than anything. I used to think like her but I realized that my life is complicated and I have severe mental illness. It requires me to be in the hospital time and time again. There might be some shame in that but it really needs to end if we are to end the stigma around mental illness.

I know a blogger/twitter person that instead of calling it mental illness, she calls it for mental health. To me, that is different. People who are mentally healthy don’t end up in the hospital a few times a year or take psych medication on a daily basis. They don’t struggle with their illness every day, be it bipolar, depression, or schizophrenia. It pisses me off when people try and pawn off one thing for something else. Yes, I would like to be mentally healthy but that is never going to happen and I am not being pessimistic. That is reality.

Feel stupid

Feel stupid

I had asked my therapist for another session today to continue what we were talking about yesterday about my self-image and dissociative state. Least that was the plan anyways. It didn’t work out. I was so out of it from taking pain meds last night and still feeling deeply worried about my ankle as it is numb. I thought with rest it would go away by morning but it hasn’t happened yet. The pain is not there, least as long as I don’t move it a certain way. We ended up talking about that, most of the session. And then I felt bad and stupid because there were periods where I wasn’t talkative or just gave one word answers. Yea I was an interesting person to talk to today. NOT.

I wrote her a letter last night and I partially read it to her, or at least gave her the gist of what it was about. Apparently, I threatened suicide at the end of the letter. But luckily, I didn’t follow through with it because I fell asleep shortly after signing off. I was in a bad state of mind last night because even though I had a “band” of numbness around my ankle, before and after this band was severe pain. I was just very uncomfortable and seriously considering going to the hospital to find out why I was numb. I am still numb but I don’t have the same amount of pain around the numbness. And I don’t think this is psychological. I think because it is so swollen, I can’t feel my ankle because the skin is being stretched so much. Icing it causes me pain so all I have left is elevation.

I almost had to laugh when my therapist asked what I was doing this weekend. UM, don’t you remember I am on bed rest?? The only thing I have to do is figure out how to get to the pharmacy to refill my pain medication. I figure I will do this on Saturday to make sure I don’t waste my time tomorrow. But other than that, I am not planning on going anywhere. I was supposed to go to a grad party Saturday and a birthday party on Sunday but I have cancelled those events as there is no way I can go. It will cause me too much pain.

This numbness that I am experiencing is really annoying me. Just imagine your foot going to sleep and never waking up is the best way I can describe it. I am not getting the pins and needles you get when it wakes up. I feel so stupid that this is happening. I can still stand on my foot, walk on it, etc. It just feels really weird. There is no color change, there is no bruise or redness around the area. It just is so frustrating. Even if I go to the hospital, I know the x-ray is going to show nothing wrong with it.

I am really tired today. I want to sleep but the fricken birds in my area are chirping really loud. It is annoying the crap out of me. And it’s hard to sleep when you are disturbed like this. I wish there was a way to scare the fuckers away but I don’t even know where they are hiding. I would throw rocks at them or something. Good thing I don’t own a fire arm.