Pre Superbowl Blog 2017

Pre Superbowl Blog

I just did my meds for the week so I wouldn’t have to do them when the game was over. While I was doing them, one of my hormone pills made a jump for it and I can’t locate it. So I am going to be off a this week, which means I might get my menses next week. Lovely.

My brother in law made his chili. I had a bowl and it’s just the right spicy for me. I think he put pork in it, which I hate when he deviates from the normal chili. It just drives me nuts. I ordered buffalo wings because I was craving them. They were good. I am glad I ordered 15 and not 8. I shared them with my niece and bro in law. I didn’t like the blue cheese though. It had a funny taste to it.

I took a shower and now I am exhausted. I just finished taking out my recycles. I really haven’t done much today and I am wiped out and ready for a nap. I am not in that much pain, though my toes like to flare up and then flare down so I haven’t taken anything for it. I had to take some meds around 0730 when I woke up because I was in pain. I hope it stays like this. I could use a day off from pain.

My sister is having a party for the football game. I will last until the game starts and then I will go to my kitchen and watch it. I like to watch it in a quiet space and tweet. I did that two weeks ago. It was fun. I just wish I had some chips and salsa with me but today I will have it if I am not too full off what my sisters and brother in law made.

And remember GO PATS!!!

Football (American) Sunday

Football (American) Sunday

I watched both playoff football games. On social media, I played like I was rooting for the Packers but I was really wanting Atlanta to win. My reverse psychology worked and Atlanta won. I really didn’t want to see Rodgers in another Superbowl. My Pats didn’t disappoint at all. They dominated the game against Big Ben and they lost by 19 points. HAHA. I posted that too often on Twitter. It kept kicking it out, saying it was a duplicate tweet. I was sad.

I had a rough night. I woke up at 3 am in pain and didn’t go back to sleep till around 6. I then had weird dreams and didn’t wake up till around 1300. When I went downstairs to use the bathroom, my mother said some stuff to me. I told her what happened and she was like, I get up 3-4 times in the night and can go back to sleep. I was like yea, you can also just close your eyes and sleep. I can’t. Idiot! She really pissed me off. I got through this with her every single time I sleep past noon or get up past noon. She just doesn’t understand what I go through during the night. She thinks that if I am in my room all day, I sleep. That is not true. I just don’t go downstairs because the fucking TV is so loud I would go ballistic on it. Most of the time I am on my laptop or reading or playing with my phone while I have the laptop open. I only nap if I wake up before 6 and can’t go back to sleep. Or I am up all fucking night in pain which she just doesn’t understand. I just want to scream at her fuck you but she would bop me off the head if I did that.

I watched both games in the kitchen as my mother had control of the living room TV. I stood through most of the games, sitting sparingly. Though when it was evident the Pats were in control, I sat down to watch. I am sure pain will start any minute now that I am on my bed resting. My back is still hurting from this morning. I again woke up on my back and it must have been a long time because it really hurt and felt swollen. I haven’t taken any pain meds aside from early this morning and last night. What really sucks is that my urine retention is bad. I only peed once and that was during halftime of the second game, so around 2000, nearly 7 hours after I had been up. I had been drinking soda and coffee so it wasn’t like I wasn’t drinking. I think the strong pain pill is messing with me. I drank water hoping to go one more time before bed. I still haven’t gone yet. I probably will at like 0300.

My mother also pissed me off because while I was watching the game, she wanted me to wash dishes because I was “doing nothing”. FUCK YOU and your dishes. I ended up doing them and taking a bath at the same time, in between games. I fucking hate washing dishes because I always!! Get wet. She gave me the pan that she made pea soup in and it took me a good while to get the damn shit out of the cover and the rim of the pan. She didn’t soak the pan like I do by filling it all the way up. Bitch. That really pissed me off.

During halftime of the Pats game, I took a quick shower. I really had to because I stunk. If felt good to shower and brush my teeth. Now I am ready for bed and hope I get to sleep. I had to take my meds a little later than I usually do because I was watching the game late. I didn’t fill my pill box so it took a little longer while I filled it. I hate filling it, even though it’s only about five minutes. I just have so many pills I need to take and that doesn’t include my PRNs. I also hate taking the pills because it’s like a meal that I take late at night. My stomach just gets so bloated after taking all of them. Just the price of wellness, I guess.

Sports rant and other things

Sports rant and other things

Patriots have received their verdict on deflategate. A one million dollar fine for the team and Tom Brady is suspended for four games. All because he supposedly deflated a bunch of footballs for a championship game. According to the report that was made, said it was “probable”. How they defined this, I don’t know. Meanwhile someone who committed domestic violence gets suspended for two games. Seems fair. You deflate footballs, you get four game suspension. You beat your wife publicly, you get two games. I don’t fucking get it. The NFL is a fucking joke right now. Appeals will be made. I think this is just a hoopla to keep the NFL in the news as it is the offseason. No one should care about football until August, when pre-season starts. As hard as I am trying to ignore this, I can’t. I really like Tom and I don’t think he is a cheater. Cheaters don’t win 42-7.

The baseball game is late today. The Sox are on the west coast so the games don’t start until 22:00. I hate west coast games. There was talk that the lineup was going to change so I was scanning Twitter all friggen day to see if it was true. But it wasn’t. The lineup was the same, with the exception of Victorino being added to it. He came off the DL today. I hope he stays healthy. We need his bat, and his speed around the bases.

I have been feeling tired all day. I took a nap for about forty-five minutes. I really didn’t want to get up but my bladder was calling. It was humid today and still is, though I think with the sun going down, it’s cooling off and getting tolerable. I cannot stand humidity and heat. It will make me crazy. Tomorrow we are getting the remnants of Ana, a hurricane that was off the coast of the Carolinas. I am glad it will be raining. It has been really dry the last few days. We aren’t expected to get rain the rest of the week. Which probably means more sunshine. I hate sunshine. It just is too bright. It also makes me kind of suicidal. There was a study that showed that suicides tend to occur when sunshine happens for more than 7 days but not more than 30. It was an unusual finding and one that I didn’t really understand. But I do believe it. I tend to be more suicidal during the summer months than I am any other time of the year. Except it’s not even summer yet. It’s still spring. Total wackiness. But I will take the good weather over the freezing cold. This winter was harsh.

I am depressed. The past two days I have been getting by eating three oatmeal cookies and a sandwich. Yesterday I had the cookies and a hot dog. I couldn’t finish the second one. Then later that evening tried to have sausages and potatoes and I was up most of the night with a stomach ache. I just ate too much food, even though it really wasn’t. I don’t get how my appetite can be feast or famine sometimes. I wish I would lose weight but it’s just not possible because I am so inactive. I know that if I was working, I would have no trouble losing the weight during days I don’t eat. I just feel full and bloated. If I didn’t know any better, I say I am the size of a full grown cow. All I had was a turkey sub. And I had to finish the last half of it by forcing it down. I wasn’t going to waste half a sandwich. My mother would have a fit.

I don’t think I am going to be able to stay up past midnight to listen to this game. I just am wiped out and I don’t know why. I really didn’t do much today. I delivered some stuff to my father, took a nap, then picked up my niece from after school. I watched her for about an hour while I read my book and she played on the computer. I am reading “Brilliant Blunders” by Mario Livio. It’s an interesting book. Part I am reading right now is dealing with how DNA was discovered. And it was by a blunder that it wasn’t by another person other than Watson and Crick.

I hate that on days when I don’t go out by T, I am more tired than if I just stayed at home. I guess driving takes more out of you than you think it does.

Sports and Other Things

Been trying to write today but keep being distracted by Twitter. A lot has been going on today in the sports world. Deflategate has resurfaced and in baseball news, the pitching coach was fired. In addition to that, my *favorite* pitcher got designated for assignment, which means goodbye, see ya, hope to never see you again. He was a good for nothing pitcher, giving up home runs with inherited runners, all the time. He lost more ball games than I can remember winning. Or if we were losing, made sure we really lost. But the firing of the pitching coach, to me, was unexpected. I understand as the pitchers barely went more than three innings the last few games and it’s hard on the bullpen to be called earlier than they should start. Someone had to get chucked and it was the pitching coach. I am sure the hitting coach is probably next if the Sox don’t start hitting. You need good pitchers and hitters to win games, even if it is by one run.

Deflategate is back because the NFL just ruled that the Patriots and their quarterback was “probable” in deflating the balls for a game. No punishment has been issued, officially, but the haters want to see them stripped of the Superbowl title, the QB suspended 2-4 games to a year and the head coach fired. It is ridiculous. I don’t know what is going to happen. I just wish they would hurry up and make a decision so this can all go away. I know every single game this season is going to bring up the deflated balls. I usually don’t listen to the commentary because the game is so fast. I am watching the game more than listening to the “analysis” or prediction of what is going to happen next. It really is stupid. What happens, happens. Next play the QB could trip on his own feet and there is a fumble rather than a great play. You just don’t know. Though the game is a little bit more predictable than baseball. You know the QB is going to throw the ball to someone and hope he catches it.

There is not a Sox game tonight because it is a travel day. They are usually off on Thursdays. I am kind of depressed that there is no game because I have literally nothing to watch. I could watch my shows but my mother is still watching hers. I won’t be able to get the TV until after eight. But my foot/ankle is hurting so unless I got to go to the bathroom, I am not leaving my room.

I had therapy for the third time this week. We talked but it didn’t go anywhere. I swear whenever she says “this is something we need to work on”, I cringe because I know it’s not going anywhere beyond today. I really want to tell her this, but I just let her finish her thoughts on the subject and let them land where they may. Today’s topic was how not to get guilt tripped by my mother and I had to laugh because she, my therapist, guilt trips me all the time. It was a hard session because physically, I didn’t feel well. I kept on getting congested and the post nasal drip was making me very nauseated. There were times during session I couldn’t speak because I didn’t know if I was going to puke or not. Allergies are in full range today and my nose kept on dripping. This is despite taking an antihistamine that is supposed to last 24 hours. Lately, it has been lasting only 18-20. I was also feeling dizzy most of the day, which is weird. I have been keeping up with my fluids so I am not sure why I was dizzy.

Today was the first day in a long time I woke up early (around 0500) and then went back to sleep! It was only for a couple of hours but I went back to sleep. And I didn’t take a mid-morning nap like I usually do. I did try to take an afternoon nap before I picked up my niece but that didn’t work out. I just rested. I still haven’t heard back from my psychiatrist concerning my delusions and what to do with them. I should have paged her last night. I was really in bad shape but I am better today. I talked about it with my therapist as I was paranoid after our session and the voices were watching me most of the day. I ended up taking my meds early and was asleep before ten or there abouts. So I slept almost seven hours straight. I hope to get that much tonight.