Therapy, fatigue, and still feeling like shit

I managed a shower today. It kind wore me out but I was determined to see my therapist. The bus didn’t give a shit what I had planned as it was like a fucking half hour late. Starbucks didn’t have eggnog so I just had a mocha. I forgot extra shots. Doubt they would have done any good anyway. By the time I reached my therapist’s office, I was wiped out.

We started talked and I profusely apologized for missing Monday. I told him I felt like shit and I must have looked it because he asked if I wanted to go home. I said ok. I thanked him. I said I hope to see him Monday and have a good Thanksgiving.

I took an Uber home. I am glad I did because I was ready to pass out. I told my mother I would be going to bed and she asked if it was because of pain. I said no, I am tired because my blood counts are off. She was confused. I tried to explain it to her last week but she didn’t want to hear it. Now I was explaining it again. I need a salty diet and high protein and low fluids. I still don’t think she understood but not my problem. I went upstairs to change and hunker down. I am hungry but no idea what to eat. I finished off the last of the cold cuts. I want to order out but my funds are low. I get paid Monday though.

I wish I could say I am feeling better but I am feeling the same. Yesterday I slept all day and hope my activities today don’t wear me out so much. I had a rough night as I slept in pretty much the same position all night so was stiff and this or that hurt or was asleep. It is going to be the coldest Thanksgiving on record, with some parts reaching below zero. Much too early for this time of year. But the weather is whacky everywhere.

If you are in the US, I wish you a happy Thanksgiving. I am grateful you read my blog. Hope you have a good day tomorrow.

Another blog by phone

I am still feeling crappy. Yesterday in was so exhausted after seeing the doc, I slept, had dinner, took my meds. And pretty much slept through the night. I woke up once to pee and take a horrible selfie. I felt like taking the shot of T then but i was too tired to be that coordinated. I had to wake up early to check to see if my niece went to school on time. I got mad at my phone for waking me up, snoozed, got mad again, and never got up. I woke up a half hour later and went downstairs. She wasn’t home so that was good. It is freezing out. I went back to my room and fell back to sleep.

I got up around an hour ago. I had messages, one was a provider letter. I read that but it was just for my urine test results. I still haven’t heard anything about my blood results so I sent a message. My sodium is down again, lower than it ever has been. No wonder I feel so crummy. My psych said to reduce my water intake (I am not reducing coffee!!) This is hard because I kind of am thirsty since she said it. I’ve just been taking sips with my meds. Figures not eating and drinking would knock it down. I asked her if we could lower the oxcarb by 300 mg and she agreed. I feel a little better today but still feel so tired. I was supposed to meet up with my barber to get my baking dish but I couldn’t be bothered. I am just too tired. I will get it next week.

So I guess I am to just sleep until my medical doc figures out what to do with me. The rest is helping my plantar fasciitis. Heel was hurting so bad last night from all the walking I did. I didn’t ice it just rolled a tennis ball under my foot while waiting for dinner to be ready. It really helps reduce the pain. I have been doing the app thing for my foot. My scores are better but not 100 %, dammit lol. The OT wants it above 80%, which they have been so that is good. I see them tomorrow. I haven’t done the stretching because I’ve been in a flare. Even yesterday while on the way home felt like my sneaker was going to rip the top of my foot apart. It was fun going around the house with two feet hurting so bad. Yikes!! I’ve been doing the heat stuff so hope she isn’t going to be a bitch. I also been doing the heel lift she wants so 2 out of 3 isn’t bad. My foot is still bothering me today. I haven’t had this bad of a flare in a while. Hope it settles down.

Last night some idiot called with a restricted number. I thought it might be the doctor’s office so answered. It was some document recovery bullshit. They had a document I had to sign and would I be available between such and such hours. I was yes-ing them to death. Bastards never came. Assholes. I get these calls at least twice a year and it is always we are taking you to court and we can’t give you the information, you need to call the 800 number. Okay. Scam bastards.

I am not sure where my blog writing is going. If I feel up to it, I will write. Otherwise I won’t. I just don’t have the energy. Oh, and today is day 42 of my transition. I will write a separate post for that, though it will be just a paragraph as not much has changed.

About Magnesium

I finally found the article about magnesium for those that are interested in reading it. I do not take credit for writing it.

About magnesium

Archived columns by Leo Galland M.D., F.A.C.N.

Magnesium is the fourth most abundant mineral in your body, a necessary co-factor for hundreds of enzymes, and the most critical mineral of all for coping with stress. Stress-related diseases, which run rampant through modern society, like heart attacks and high blood pressure, are often accompanied by magnesium deficiency. Unfortunately, most Americans consume diets that fail to meet the government’s RDA for magnesium, and magnesium intake is even lower than average among people who develop heart disease.
The best food sources of magnesium are vegetables like buckwheat (kasha), mature lima beans, navy beans, kidney beans, green beans, soy beans (including tofu), black-eyed peas, broccoli, spinach, Swiss chard, oats, whole barley, millet, bananas, blackberries, dates, dried figs, mangoes, watermelon, almonds, Brazil nuts, cashews, hazel nuts, shrimp, and tuna.
When you are chronically stressed, you can become magnesium deficient even if you eat these foods regularly. The complex relationship between magnesium and stress explains why many of the patients I see require magnesium supplements, because even a nutritious diet does not correct their magnesium deficiency.
If you are like most people, when you are exposed to the stress of continuous loud noise, for example, you become irritable, easily fatigued and lose concentration. Your blood pressure may increase as the level of adrenalin, a stress hormone, in-creases in your blood. Under conditions of mental or physical stress, magnesium is released from your blood cells and goes into the blood plasma, from where it is excreted into the urine. Chronic stress depletes your body of magnesium. The more stressed you are, the greater the loss of magnesium. The lower your magnesium level to begin with, the more reactive to stress you become and the higher your level of adrenalin in stressful situations. Higher adrenalin causes greater loss of magnesium from cells. Administering magnesium as a nutritional supplement breaks this vicious cycle by raising blood magnesium levels and buffering the response to stress, building your resistance.
Personality has a marked effect on the stress-magnesium cycle. A study done in Paris found that stress-induced depletion of magnesium was much greater for people who show the “Type A”, competitive, heart-disease prone behavior pattern than for their less competitive colleagues. Dr. Bella Altura, a physiologist at the State University of New York, has proposed that depletion of magnesium among Type A individuals is the main reason why Type A individuals are at increased risk of heart attacks.
It appears that the body’s magnesium economy is an integral part of the stress response system. When stressed for any reason, the body’s hormonal response causes an outpouring of magnesium from cells into plasma. This outpouring is a bit like taking magnesium by injection, except the source is internal. The effect of the sudden increase in magnesium is both energizing and calming. Magnesium is needed to burn sugar for energy; it also calms the excitation of cells produced by the stress-induced release of calcium. If there is insufficient dietary magnesium, or if there is insufficient rest in between episodes of stress, the body’s magnesium stores are slowly depleted. The hormonal response to stress disintegrates. The plasma magnesium does not elevate in response to stress, as it should, so that the energizing/calming effect of magnesium is not present to counter the nerve-jangling effects of adrenalin and other stress hormones. Consequently, the disorganizing effects of stress are intensified and coping is impaired. Higher blood pressure, abnormalities of your heartbeat and an increased risk of heart attacks or of angina (cardiac pain) may be one result.
Laboratory tests for magnesium are often misleading in evaluating your need for magnesium, because blood magnesium levels fluctuate, depending upon where you are in the cycle of stress responses and magnesium depletion. Your symptoms are a better guide. Muscle tension, spasm and twitching are the most characteristic symptoms of magnesium depletion, followed by palpitation and breathlessness. Irritability, fatigue, trouble falling asleep and hypersensitivity to loud noises are also common. The presence of migraine or tension headache, unexplained chest pain, strange sensations of the skin (like insects crawling) and abdominal pain or constipation are further indications of magnesium deficiency. If you are suffer from any of these symptoms, or if you are being treated for heart disease or high blood pressure, you may need a magnesium supplement.
The best dietary supplements are the acid salts of magnesium like magnesium chloride, citrate, gluconate or glycinate. The dose needed varies from one hundred milligrams to about five hundred milligrams per day of elemental magnesium. Too much magnesium can cause diarrhea. Magnesium taken by mouth is very safe, except in people who suffer from kidney disease or are severely dehydrated. These people may develop levels of magnesium in blood that are too high; they should only take magnesium supplements under strict medical supervision. Just as magnesium taken at bedtime can induce sleep, so high blood levels of magnesium may cause drowsiness and lethargy.
Much has been written about the need to balance the calcium/magnesium ratio when taking supplements. This notion is based upon the known interactions between magnesium and calcium in cells. Calcium freely dissolved in the fluid of each cell has a stimulating effect that leads to rapid contraction of muscle cells and excitation of nerve cells. These cellular effects of calcium result in muscle spasm, poor circulation, and rapid heart beat. Magnesium in the cells of your body is nature’s calcium blocker and many of its protective benefits result from blocking these undesirable effects of calcium, reducing high blood pressure and stopping palpitations. No dietary formula can balance calcium and magnesium in the cells, however. Only your body can do it. Your job is to give your body enough magnesium and enough calcium so it can get the job done right.
People who take magnesium supplements do not automatically require extra calcium. In France, where therapy with magnesium pills has been widespread for thirty years, calcium is rarely given in conjunction with magnesium. There is also no evidence that magnesium and calcium interfere with each other’s absorption. Calcium and magnesium are absorbed into the body by distinct and separate mechanisms. Similarly, people who benefit from calcium supplements do not always have to take extra magnesium, although many women who are taking calcium for preventing osteoporosis may well need magnesium in addition. There is a growing body of evidence that magnesium in the diet is as important for prevention of osteoporosis as is calcium.

Pink pill side effects

So I was minding my own business tonight while babysitting. My niece was doing her thing. I was doing mine. When my left arm started to feel like spaghetti. It was close to 1900, way too early to take my meds. But I had to do something about the spaghetti feeling and the subsequent spasms that followed. I went up to my room for a  ativan as that is the only drug that will work to counter the effects of the pink pill.

I haven’t had these symptoms in a long time. I wonder if it’s because I’m not eating full meals at night. I emailed my psychiatrist. I hope I hear back from her because typing is a strain.

I also emailed my friend about the depression.  I am tempted to ask my psych about the sertraline. I still think I should do it in person though.

My sister gave me some left over steak tips when she came back from her outing. Surprisingly, I hate them. There were 3 pieces. Not the best in the world but good enough. I also had some gooey bread. So that was my dinner. I still feel dizzy. I don’t know what is wrong with me. Everything was normal last week except my potassium level. Maybe it is low again. I don’t know. I just feel shitty.

I hope my psychiatrist writes back but I’m not holding my breath.