Tag: baseball

Sad Sale Day

by Midnight Demon, posted in baseball, bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Sad Sale Day

I woke up around 6 with hammering going on in my ankle bone. I took some meds but it took a while for it to settle for me to go back to sleep. I then woke up around 11 with the same hammering. I went downstairs to use the bathroom and brush my teeth. I then heated up a burrito and made a cup of tea. I went up to my room and just read social media until I was out of tea. I wanted to read some more 1984 so went down stairs again to make another cup.

The game was just starting so I turned on the TV. Chris Sale was pitching. He faced his 3rd batter and then was hit by a line drive to the hip. I heard the hit and when they said Sale was down, I freaked out. I was on my phone when the pitch was made. I saw the replay after the play and ouch! He bruised his hip and came out of the game. There are 5 days before Opening Day and he is slated for the start. I don’t know if he will be well enough by then. Sucks because starting pitching is dwindling. I don’t know what happened to Pretty Ricky (Rick Porcello). One of their starting pitchers is going to spend the first 15 games suspended due to domestic violence he did last Oct or Nov. My poor Sox. Right now the Sox are up 3-0. I am now listening to the game as the appeal for watching was gone. I like to be resting my ankle anyway as it hurts so bad. Sitting would only aggravate it. I was happy to learn as soon as I turned on the TV that my favorite new catcher (sort of new) Christain Vasquez was signed an extension 3 year contract. Love him so much. He is like a young Molina (he did follow them before coming to the Sox). He throws out stealers of second base so quick. I loved him the first time I saw him in Spring training a few years ago.

I was late in taking my pain meds. I was supposed to take it around noon and just looked at the time. I am 2 and half hours late. I hate when I am late. I got so wrapped up in baseball. It was a good distraction for my pain. I am so glad it is back!

Windows finally realized I don’t have enough space on my hard drive so allowed me to use an external drive for some updates. I don’t know if it the updates that the stupid Win 10 assistant update thing is for. I think I might have to buy another 128GB thumb drive. I had transferred files from my 64 GB thumb so I could make a boot up thingy for my laptop because I thought I was going to get a new larger HD. I still need to call Dell to find out what are the components on my laptop as they do not match the manual. I really need to get my other laptop fixed. It might cost me $200 but I think it will be better than this piece of shit. I really should have spent the money fixing it rather than buying a new laptop. But live and learn, I guess. I will never get low memory again, either on RAM or HD.

counting down toward baseball 11 days

by Midnight Demon, posted in baseball, Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

My ankle has been hurting me most of the day. I woke up at 6 in pain, managed to go back to sleep and got up around 1400. I made coffee and walking was difficult. Any weight that I put on my ankle made it hurt more. I had some cookies as I didn’t know what to eat. I was watching the game. It was the top of the 5th and they scored soon as my coffee was done. YAY! My “boyfriend” Benny Biceps (Andrew Benintendi) scored a home run. I decided to make some boiled eggs and toast before going back to my room.

My mother wanted me to look up some cleaning machine on my computer. I told her the price and I guess it was too high as she didn’t say anything else. I don’t know why she wants another one. She bought one for the kitchen floor that she has yet to use. I don’t get it. She has bought several sets of pans that are on the porch. Guess she is waiting for the ones we use every day to fall apart before we can use them. I don’t know. They are the copper ones they show on TV. I used one of them while making the beef for Manwich. It was good as things didn’t stick to it. I might use the smaller pan when I make scrambled eggs.

I am so exhausted from being in pain. It is draining the fuck out of me. My psychiatrist never responded to the email I sent her about what the pain doc said. I have no idea if my PCP has contacted her or what. I hate that I am not being included in the conversation. It IS my life they are talking about and MY care. I hate that this is just dragging on. I am still going to go through with my plan. I will make phone calls tomorrow, though that is giving me anxiety. I hate talking to people on the phone. I rather text or email. I know it will be a few transfers to get a hold of someone that is in charge of getting my pension and what to do with it. I also know that once I start the process, there is no looking back. I know I don’t have to do this but I can’t stand being in pain 24/7 anymore.

When my check comes in this month, I plan on ordering my books so I can give them to the libraries. I want my hometown to have a couple of copies and the idiot town I live in, even though I hate this city very bad. I also need to get my spare phone fixed. No point in getting new glasses. HA, one less expense, though I currently am hating the pair I have right now. I should make a list of all that I need to do. I have two places I want to eat at before I go.

Even though my feet have been under the blankets the past two hours, they are ice fricken cold. It’s kind of cold in my room. For some reason, the heat only goes on at night, least in my room anyway. I don’t mind it being cold so long as my nose doesn’t get cold. Then I need heat. But my feet are different. I need to put on thermals and I just don’t want to be bothered. Damn, heat is making a liar out of me as it just kicked on! Fucker. LOL Must have knew I was talking about it.

Sox won 2-1. 11 days till Opening Day. I cannot fricken wait!! Seems like forever since I last heard or watched a night game. The spring training has been meh. Nothing exciting except one catcher that has done really well. I don’t know who will be staying or going. I guess that will be happening sometime within the week.

Early morning wakening and other things

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Early morning wakening and other things

I woke up around 530 in pain, after falling asleep sometime after 1. I was not happy. I took some pain meds and contemplated staying up or going back to sleep. I opted to go back to sleep, but I set my alarm first as I had my grocery delivery today. Alarm went off but I didn’t want to get up. I finally did and managed to brush my teeth. Then I made some coffee while waiting. I am glad I got up because the delivery guy came like 20 minutes later. I showed him where to put the groceries and then after he put them there, I put the refrigerated stuff in the kitchen. I also got the frozen stuff as well. The stuff that didn’t need to be in the fridge, I just left until I was able to put them away. I told my mother I bought her tuna and she had a fit that I paid 50 cents more than another grocery store. You’re welcome!

I drank my coffee and was getting hungry but didn’t feel like cooking. I remembered I bought some breakfast burritos so I got one out. The preferred method was the oven, but screw that. I microwaved it. It was okay. It had beans in it with eggs and Canadian bacon. I think cheese was in there too, but I couldn’t taste it. I wanted to have some pie that I bought but thought it was too early for that. All my ingredients for the casserole came. I plan on making it around 3 today. My mother said she doesn’t want it. I figured. She doesn’t like chili. I hope I am not going to eat the entire 9×13 pan by myself. That will just suck. I plan on giving some to my brother in law but not sure if his system is up from things spicy as he is getting over a stomach bug. I’m not sure my youngest sister will eat it. I know my youngest niece won’t even look at it.

I came back to my room and my damn foot went berserk. It was time to take another dose of pain meds so I took it. I don’t plan on getting up until it’s time to make the casserole. I am tired from running all over the house, putting things away. I didn’t realize I bought so much soda. It will last though because I don’t drink it every day. I still have my orange mango from Nantucket Nectars. I bought them last month and I think I just drank one. I bought 7Up, my favorite soda ever. I haven’t had it in so long. Only certain stores sell it so it’s hard to find a 20 oz bottle. I bought a 12 pk of 12 oz cans.

The casserole came out okay. I don’t think I will make it again. I don’t know why I bought cheddar cheese and sour cream. I didn’t use it when I had a piece. I was kind of full with just half a scoop. It was fun making it though my ankle and foot didn’t like it. My back is bothering me too. I lugged a quarter case of water up to my room and think I took my hip out in the process. I am so tired now. I want to nap but am afraid that if I do, I will be up all night. I could be up all night anyway if I stay up.

I listened to like 4 innings of the game before cooking. They were losing 3-1 when I left. I thought they would comeback and they didn’t. They had their first loss today at 6-1. There is a second game but it is only on TV. I am upset over this as I want to listen to it. I like listening to it better than watching. I had some baseball fix. The starting pitchers only pitch 1 or 2 innings before changing. I never noticed that before, but then I never really paid much attention to Spring Training. I usually just pay attention when the season officially starts but I need baseball in my life right now. It’s like a drug to me and I was jonesing pretty bad the off season.

Football (American)

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Football (American)

My Pats lost the Super Bowl. Game just ended a few minutes ago. It was a good game overall but the Pats defense could not hold the Eagles back enough to let the offense on the field.

My head hurts. I am tired. I woke up and did a lot of things today, going to the store twice and making chocolate zucchini bread. I used a small loaf pan that I bought so it took two hours for it to cook, maybe more. I know I put it in for 60 minutes but it took maybe a little more than an hour to really be done. I had to increase the oven temp and then check it every 10 minutes or so. Next time I will use the regular loaf pan.

Surprisingly despite all that I did, including taking a shower, my pain levels didn’t spike to astronomical levels. It has been a medium type of pain most of the day. I hope that when I lay down, my foot or ankle doesn’t go berserk on me.

The play of the game was more than 4 hours. I made a comment about how there has been talk of shortening baseball games lengths. Usually a baseball game will be about three and a half hours, minimum, though it could be less. It all depends on the speed of the game but some pitchers and changing of pitchers makes the game longer to last four hours or more, especially when there is a tie and it goes to extra innings or there are long at bats. There are many reasons a game lasts long. I personally don’t care how long it is. I love the game and want it to be played the way it currently is. There has been talk of the pitcher’s clock where I think they have 30 seconds to pitch the ball or something like that. I have no idea if it will be enforced. Will know more in about 10 days when Spring Training starts. I cannot wait. My love is coming back soon. I am pretty excited about it.

One of the suicide prevention twitter people I follow post about suicide not being an option the other day. I responded that death is always an option. Some idiot responded saying that I should follow his/her account on Facebook and we could talk about it. I asked why I had to follow him/her on another social media site. I got a weird response back so I blocked the account. It really bothers me when people say suicide is not an option. It is always an option in the human race, it has to be. People dying from incurable diseases or suffering indignity due to some disease have to have the right to end their lives on their terms. No one is promised a tomorrow but for those suffering, shouldn’t they at least have the choice to end it before they can no longer make that decision for themselves? I know I have been suicidal many times in the past year. I have no attempted in a very long time. I will be damned if I am going to let some asshat tell me I can’t take my life because it goes against their creed. I have chronic pain and it is a fucking struggle to be here day in and day out when all I want to do is end my life. As the great father of suicidology has said “How many suicides do you want, and I say I don’t want any, but I want there to be the freedom to do it. I study suicide but I am not pro-suicide. I’m for suicide prevention.” –Edwin Shneidman