Tag: complex regional pain syndrome

Midnightdemon Blog 27 July 2017

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Midnightdemon Blog 27 July 2017

I woke up a little after 0130 in pain. It felt like someone was grabbing my foot and trying to squeeze the crap out of it. I took some more Neurontin and my pain meds. I was able to talk with a couple members of the CRPS group on Facebook. It was nice that I was being heard and understood. I don’t know why my pain is so bad these days. It doesn’t seem to take much for it to set it off. I swear when I took off my sock on my bad foot, it set it off.

I think I finally did the ordering for my upgrade and the additional line. The customer service order department wiped out the order and the phone that I received, I have to return. Seems kind of silly that I need to return the new phone to get a new phone. But whatever. As long as I don’t have to pay for three phones a month, I will be happy. Right now, the cancellation hasn’t gone through as the woman said my bill will be $400 until my return is processed. She is sending me the return kit. Right now because I had to do two orders, my account has a negative balance from the payments. It was so tiring to be on the phone with them. I swear it was all afternoon as I was just put on hold for most of the time. I hope the issue is resolved and I’m not paying a shitload next month.

I really love the CRPS UK group on Facebook. The people there are so kind and willing to help you out in anyway they can. I give back when I can. Some of the posts I can’t respond to because they are UK related, like disability keys and other admin from NHS or the government. But I can relate to pain posts and support those people. I love that everyone tries to help and responds to the posts. I have really gotten along with the founder of the group. She is so great. We were talking and I told her about how I was going to change my name to GC eventually. She was understanding and supportive.

I know I am going to have a shitty day because I am up in the middle of the night. I am not planning on going out at all. I want to rest my foot as much as possible. Sadly, I overspent and I don’t have much money to go on the cruise. I wanted at least $80 and I think I have like half that after all my bills are paid. I can’t touch my account until Friday. I wanted to get a haircut but it doesn’t seem like that is going to happen. I look like a Chia pet, my hair is just sprouting all out because it is growing like a weed. The parts that I have shaved before my admission to the hospital has grown out and is now even with the parts I didn’t shave. My hair grows so fast. I might have to withdraw from my savings if I don’t have enough cash on me.

There has been a lot of talk about transgender yesterday because the Orange Cheeto said they can no longer serve in the US military. Basically, it is because it “costs too much”. But yet they spend money on Viagra which is more expensive than the hormone therapy. I am very pissed off. I am so tired of the Cheeto not making good on his “promises” in his campaign and then has stupid rallies like he is still running for president. The guy is so deluded it’s not funny. It’s so sad that Congress is not doing anything to get rid of him. He is a lying piece of shit. I often call him a dumbfuck when I respond to his tweets. I can’t help it. He just pisses me off with his dumbass tweets.

I’m getting sleepy but I am also hungry. Think I will have a bowl of granola cereal and then try and sleep. Thing is, I really don’t want to go downstairs but I know I won’t be able to sleep unless I eat something. I wish I had something in my room. I used to have protein bars but I don’t anymore. I have to order some more.

Bollocks and Bullshit kind of day

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders, suicide

Bollocks and bullshit kind of day

I had shit for sleep so I am extremely irritable. I again woke up in the middle of the night in pain. Slept for a few hours, then my alarm went off. Good thing I woke up because my groceries came a few minutes later. I have been up since then. I put all the groceries away and then went to Starbucks for espresso. I didn’t feel like making coffee at home.

I was feeling groggy and sleepy so after an hour, I caught what was supposed to be the next bus but it never showed up. I was bullshit. I tweeted the MBTA and got no response as to why there was no bus. I had to wait an hour for the next one. My bladder didn’t like this. I went to walgreens for an errand for my mother and got a snack. I didn’t buy any snacks in my grocery order just food and water. By the time I came home, I was in a lot of pain. My foot was and is in severe pain. I couldn’t take my regular pills so I had to take the strong one. The pain is so bad that that didn’t even calm it down. I am in agony. Then I get a text saying my new phone was delivered. So I hobble down the stairs to get it. The box feels light for 2 phones. I open it and there is just one fucking phone. That is when I start swearing and using Bollocks because it covers more swears than I can think of.

I call sprint and they tell me one phone is on backorder. I checked and it says shipped on my status page. I was on hold with someone from Sprint and they transfer me to someone else that had a bad connection. He said that I needed to file a police report and I am like for something that didn’t ship?? He is like but you have the S5. I am like I ordered two S8s and only one was in the box and the invoices says QTY 1 so there was no other phone shipped, where is it and when will it be shipped. You didn’t upgrade. I said I got an email saying I did and my bill is now nearly $100 more a month so what the fuck are you talking about??!! This went back and forth, he kept putting me on hold to “check” things. I am getting bullshit and mad. My foot is ready to fucking explode and so is my damn head. Finally when I say I want to talk to a supervisor, he is like oh, we’ll put this in some kind of order resolution claim and you will be called on Monday. He then asks for a number I can be reached. After a fucking hour on being on the phone. Fucking fuck.

I complain on Twitter for this bullshit and now they are trying to help and taking their blessed time. I have had the secure window open for an hour now and they still haven’t responded to my inquiries. I am ready to shut the window and call it a fucking day. After I got off the phone with these idiots, I call my mother and tell her she needs to make dinner tonight because my foot is being a fuck. She asks how to cook the ribs and I tell her to follow the instructions on the package. Easy, peazy.

I got a call while I was on the phone with the idiots. It was the pain group coordinator. She left me a message saying I needed to redo the intake interview and her office will call with an appointment. Fucking great. Another damn interview with this lady who is a bitch. I emailed my psych to let her know and that I was in agony. I didn’t tell her I was suicidal from the damn pain that has gone on for almost 24 hours now. I pleaded with my support group to PM me or comment to have someone to talk to as I am in agony. This is the worst pain I have been in since last week and again, I didn’t do much to set it off.

So now that I know this phone is really my niece’s phone, I can set it up for her and play with it for a little while to get used it. It is sleeker than the S5. I really like this phone. I hope playing with it gets me more acquainted with it when I get MY phone, whenever the fuck that is. I am so bullshit it’s not funny. I had talk to two people who said there was 2 devices in the shipment that was shipped out and they lied. How is that good customer service??

made it out today

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Made it out today

Despite waking up in the middle of the night, I was able to get some sleep. My check came in and I quickly spent as I bought groceries and paid bills. I also got the phone accessories from Amazon. I was feeling good, the back pain gone away, so I chanced a shower. It’s cold out so I just had a hot shower. It felt good. Other than my ankle complaining, I had no other pains. I then waited for the next bus, got dressed, and went out the door.

Starbucks has a new steak and egg wrap that I wanted to try so I ordered it with my espresso. After I ate, I wrote in my journal and started falling asleep. I got a coffee as the next bus wasn’t for another hour. The coffee was good. Unfortunately, I was still sleepy. I went to the bus stop and waited for the bus and tried not closing my eyes. When the bus came, I shut my eyes and snoozed until I reached my stop.

I got into my PJs and figure I would rest until 1500 as my delivery was supposed to come around that time. Least that is what I thought. Instead it came around 1230 or so but because our stupid cheap bell doesn’t work, the driver left a note and went on his way. I got a text an hour later saying the delivery didn’t happen and I was so damn mad. There is some kind of battery connection problem with the bell. It’s one of the wireless kinds. I think I got it working now but that doesn’t mean it will stay that way as the battery is loose. So now I need to wait till tomorrow to get my phone. I am not happy.

Ankle has decided to flare up. Between trying to fix the bell and making a sandwich for lunch, I think I overused it. I wish the pain would take a day off. I still haven’t had my nap. I am trying to stay off my feet but my appetite is off the wall today. I really want to go downstairs and have a ring ding. I need something sweet. I really don’t but I want one. I had ordered a doughnut with my wrap but the Starbucks store was out so I never had my sweet fix. My mother is making pork chops for supper. I am trying to be good and not eat anything until then. I can have my ring ding for dessert.

God I am so goddamned pissed at the fucking US Senate right now. They are chickenshits who let the Vice President decide for them that they were too chicken to decide on their own. So around 32 million Americans will lose their health insurance and pay up to $13,000 deductible for care. Prescriptions are NOT covered so many people who have diabetes are shit out of luck. It’s just genocide. Pre-existing conditions are not covered as well. This is a disaster of a plan. Instead of listening to the people, they listened to their wallets. I am so fucking mad. I knew the VP was going to break the “tie”. I knew it was going to come down to that. Everything in the fucking Trump admin has been decided by the VP because of these chickenshits. I would say something really vile right now but it might offend those with abuse histories. The Republican party are all assholes. Did I also mention there is a clause that states that Congress is excluded from this supposed health care bill?? Yeah, the asses put that little touch in so the American people will suffer but they won’t. Fuckers, all of them.

it is after midnight

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

It is after midnight

I woke up a little after midnight as my bladder needed to be emptied. My back pain has leveled off some since I put a heating pad on it. I left it on until my mother went up to bed as I didn’t want to sleep with it on. I felt like that would be too dangerous. When I woke up, I kneaded the area of pain and it hurt more but I think I got the muscle knots out. My ankle is throbbing and burning so I will take some Neurontin to try and go back to sleep.

I am shocked that I slept for only a couple of hours. I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. Now I am wide awake. I hate waking up in the middle of the night. The only pain that I feel is in the “thing” aka my ankle and foot. My back pain is minimal. I am glad. It has stopped raining so that maybe why. I want to go to Starbucks today. They have a new wrap that I want to try. It’s with steak and eggs. I’ve never had it before but I heard that it is good. I need to get out of the house today anyways. I haven’t left the house since Friday. I do need to shower as the last time I did was Thursday. If I get paid today, I think I will get my haircut. I still can’t believe in a week my hair has grown out from where I shaved it. It’s about even with the parts that I didn’t shave. I also need to ask my barber when he will be going on vacation in August. I’d just like to know so I can plan accordingly.

For some reason, I am really thirsty. I keep drinking my powerade. Hope it goes away soon or I will be up all night peeing. My brother in law fixed the drain in the bathroom sink as water was slow to go down. It was clogged with hair and gook. I’m glad I didn’t see it or I would have puked.

I’m going to try and go back to sleep. If not, I will probably write another blog.