For those wondering, here is what a future blog post of CAMS is about. I will be writing more about this and the SSF in greater detail.
Tag: David Jobes
Promoting is hard work
I remember this time last year, I was filled with anxiety about my book. I had done all I could do with the editing piece before my editor would actually read it. I had to wait almost four months before she would work on it and the waiting was filling me with doubts. This year, I am working hard on “selling” my book. It hasn’t been easy as I have no idea how to promote. I don’t have nor can afford an agent. I tried in September to get one and got no response. It has been a hard few months just selling two copies of my book a month, either via Kindle or paperback. Last month I had a promotion and sold 3 books on Kindle. It was the most I have sold since my book came out. In total, I think I have sold something like 70 books between the two formats. My goal was to reach 100 copies sold by year’s end. I still have a few months to go and I hope that it comes easily. I am hashtagging the crap out of it on Twitter, the only social media that I know of. I also use my blog but it doesn’t get more than twenty views a day and most of the time, it is not on the blog link. Even if people read my book page, they don’t click on the link to get it. It is very frustrating. I am glad I have other income or I would be screwed.
My physical therapy appointment got cancelled early this morning. They called before eight to say that my therapist was sick! Talk about courtesy. So I went to Starbucks even though it killed my back. I really wanted to work on a new blog for CAMS/SSF. I got overwhelmed with the first chapter alone so only wrote so much. It’s a lot of information and I know that I will be writing at least 1500 words for this. I want to make it count as there are at least 5 therapists that follow my blog and Twitter account. So I want to write a good blog. I know my perfectionism is what is getting in the way.
I have decided that in the new year, I am getting 90 day supply of my medication because dishing out $70 for 1 month supply every month is getting to me. Hopefully my doc will allow it. I know that my pain meds and Ativan can’t be 90 day supply but that is just two of the twelve meds that I take. I have a new prescription carrier for the new year so hopefully it will actually save me money, in the end. I am spending more on my meds than groceries or food. Luckily, I got Starbucks money for Christmas and my birthday so I don’t have to dish out $25/mth for a while. I am glad my mother gave me cash for Christmas because I am short on getting my blood pressure med this month. There are some meds I can sacrifice, but I can’t do that with my blood pressure. Last thing I need is a stroke.
I really need to take a shower today. I leaked on the way home and I smell. Fucking hate when I leak and I don’t realize it until I go to the bathroom. On the other hand, I haven’t gone to do #2 in a few days so I am not looking forward to going. I took a laxative a couple of hours ago so I go sometime tonight I hope. Just another pill I have to take. And with me taking increased pain meds, I need to be regular. I can’t believe I was so stupid in forgetting to take the senna. But I have been playing the “what I feel like taking, I’m taking” game because I didn’t fill my pill box for the week. I filled it about an hour ago so I don’t have to play that game this week. Some how last night I forgot to take my hormone pill. I don’t even remember if I took my pills last night so it’s good I filled the box. I hope I don’t have my menses because I missed a pill. I will be so bullshit!
My mood kind of sucks today. It took me forever to get organized for the blog that I am writing. I should really call it a paper or review, as that is mostly what I am doing. I can’t believe that I haven’t written, in detail, about the SSF or CAMS before now. I tried to find it in my book but I just gave a brief overview of what they are. I want this paper to be more detailed. But it’s exhausting me because there is so much information, and Jobes had the same ideas that I did, though not exactly at the same time. He was able to come up with something brilliant and useful. I just am promoting his ideas. And promoting as I have learned with my book, is hard work!
selected reading for CAMS
Copyright 2014, Midnight Demon p 10-11. All rights reserved. Collerone, G
David Jobes is my idol. I really love his works and he is a great suicidologist. He really gets what it means to be suicidal and better than that, he wants to help suicidal people. Most clinicians do not want to deal with suicidality with a ten foot pole. They are afraid of the risks involved, from liability to malpractice to ethical concerns. Dr. Jobes has written about all of this and with a passion created a clinical framework to deal with this population. The framework is called CAMS (Collaborating Assessment, and Managing of Suicide). It is a philosophical yet empirical theory that has helped thousands of suicidal people get out of their suicidal thinking and on with their lives. CAMS was developed specifically to modify clinician behaviors in how they initially identify, engage, assess, conceptualize, treatment plan, and manage suicidal outpatients. It is a brilliant concept that is much needed in outpatient therapy as inpatient treatments have gone by the way side and insurance companies have dictated more on treatment than clinical matters. The heart of CAMS is the emphasis on a strong therapeutic alliance where counselor and client work closely together to develop a shared understanding of what brings the client to think about suicide. CAMS is similar to the Aeschi model, where the clinician is open to hearing the clients story of why they are suicidal. It is a patient oriented model rather than a physician oriented model.
These CAMS model has an assessment tool called the Suicide Status Form (SSF) and it is used to assess, treatment plan, and track suicidal patients. The cool thing about this assessment is that it multi-faceted and is not restricted to one mode of therapy or type of clinician. It can be used across all disciplines and types of therapists (DBT, CBT, psychodynamic, etc.) As long as there is a willingness to adhere to the principles of putting the client first, that is the first step in the right direction.
The SSF is a seven page assessment tool that is used to initiate, track and follow the outcome of suicidality. It was created so people who are suicidal are not lost to follow up. More can be said about this in Jobes’s book, Managing Suicide Risk.
I have used the SSF in my therapy. But I have to confess that my therapist and I never followed through completely with it. We would use the initial and the tracking forms but never quite got to the outcome phase of the assessment. Because I felt like it was my idea, and she wasn’t into changing her style of treatment, it was difficult to follow through. But that is okay because I am still here regardless. We mostly use the SSF to assess my psychological pain, reasons for living/dying, and the level of my suicidality.
I will repeatedly talk about the works of Jobes, Shneidman, and the Aeschi model throughout this book. It is because I think there is not enough awareness of this in the world of psychiatry, psychotherapy and psychology. And there is even less in the training of therapists and future psychiatrists. It really is a shame that not enough awareness of suicide is mentioned in the course of graduate college training and it is often left up to the students to figure it all out on their own, if at all. Usually it isn’t until a suicide or attempted suicide happens that people have hindsight and that isn’t always 20/20.
Back Pain Be Damned
Back Pain Be Damned
My back went out today after a couple of sneezes. I decided that despite the pain and limited movement, I was going to get my latte anyway. I took a pain pill and an anti-spasm med and got dressed gingerly. I still have this cold that refuses to let me go. I am getting better but every morning, I awake with severe congestion. If my college football game was on national TV, I probably would have stayed home and watched it than go out with a sore back. Luckily, there was no jerking on the bus rides to and from my home to cause me more discomfort. Walking is really difficult but sitting is ok, least for now.
I brought my prompt questions with me to write for my book but I’m not in the mood to answer them. The pain is too great. I am handwriting this blog to type up later while I drink my toffee nut latte. So back pain be damned! I’m tired of pain limiting my routine and taking away the one joy in my life–Starbucks. I need my coffee/latte to bring me happiness at least for a little while.
I am home now and my back pain has worsened to the point that I can’t stand up straight. Tonight is my 20th year reunion. I won’t be attending. I am in too much pain. It is one thing to go to Starbucks in agony, quite another to spend the night with friends and pretend to have a good time when you are hurting so much. And standing just about kills me so I really cannot attend. This will be the first reunion that I will be skipping.
Funny how when you hurt your back, people come up with the usual questions on how did you hurt it, what you should do for it, etc. I have thrown my back out many times over the years. I know that rest and pain meds are the best solution to it, besides putting my feet up on my wedge while lying down. It helps relieve the pressure on my discs and relaxes the muscles. A heating pad is also helpful, though I can’t really reach mine right now because it is in my third drawer in my bureau. I just can stoop that low to grab it so maybe after the pain pills work, I can get it. Heat can just relax away the stiffness that I feel.
My blog numbers are getting higher and I just realized that I am no closer to my “managing suicidal risk” book review than I was before my 900th blog. I have to start re-reading the book so I can tell you how awesome it is. Then I can post the review on Amazon and send it to Dr. Jobes. I am sure he will love that.
Aside from my back hurting me, my mood is somewhat low. I feel really depressed that I can’t move without pain. My back pain is actually worse than my ankle pain is right now. So I am listening to 1989 to try and cheer myself up, but it doesn’t seem to be working. I hate when I get like this. A friend from Virginia called me tonight to check in on me and I was happy to hear from him. He said my name popped into his head as the sun was going down. I thought that was sweet of him to call me. I miss him. I don’t know if I could ever live in Virginia, maybe temporarily, say for grad school. But I really want to get my PhD from University of Illinois, Urbana/Champagne. I love their campus, but at this point, where ever I get accepted, I will go, provided I have the funds. I basically have to win the lottery to go to grad school at this point. It is very expensive and I can’t get loans because I totally fucked up my student loans. I don’t think I will ever be able to get out from under. And it depresses me more because I am just stuck. That is the worst part of dealing with depression is feeling stuck and knowing you can’t do anything about it. I can’t even finish my Bachelor’s degree because I just can’t afford it. I should try and see if I can get a grant or something, especially as now I am on disability. Maybe I will do that on Monday.
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