I finally was able to sleep around 0430. My med alarm went off around 9. I wanted to throw my phone. I shut the thing off and was drifting off back to sleep. I caught myself and then took my meds. I went downstairs to use the bathroom. I washed my face and for some reason, forgot to brush my teeth. I will have to do so tonight, if my foot pain lets up.
I made breakfast, fried egg and toast. My mother was in the kitchen before pain made her leave. I finished my breakfast in silence and then went back up to my room, only to realize, I didn’t make coffee. I went back downstairs and made it for me and my mother. My mother said I didn’t make it good. It is shit coffee anyways. I don’t care. I made my coffee a little too sweet with the creamer that has sugar in it. I am going to have to buy the Natural Bliss one again. I’ll probably get it on Friday when I am out again.
I was getting itchy just waiting around. My friends on Twitter hadn’t responded to the blog I wrote at the midnight hour. I think they did while I was on my way to PT. I left an hour early because I couldn’t stand being in my room anymore. It was so fricken hot. I brought my Kindle to read while I waited. My PT took me early and did her thing. She was happy that I was doing my exercises. Ya, cause they didn’t involve my ankle at all!! Just upper body and my hips. She did myofascial release again and this time it bothered my thigh. It was in the last minute of it so I let her finish. Don’t know if that was wise or not but I figure why not.
I found an easier way to get back to the station. The end of the building that the PT office is leads to the street that has a bus stop about a block away. I walked it and a bus came pretty quickly. I just got to the station and was able to transfer to the bus home! Score! I checked my message as there were a few. The suicidologist that I have been followed had given me a website to look at the next time I feel like talking to someone that isn’t going to be judgmental or call the cops on me because I have suicidal feelings. It is a chronic suicide group. I told her I would check it out. I did when I got home, once my power got back on. It was out for about a half hour. I was sweating when I came home and had no fan or AC to cool off. It was stuffy in my room. I was holding out for it to come back soon and when it did, I cooled off just enough to go downstairs to have something to eat in case the power went back out again.
I have brought my portable charger on my bed in case I need to charge my phone. Getting back in bed wasn’t good. The pressure I was putting on the mattress to climb in caused a flare. I can’t take any meds. I had already taken a breakthrough med about 2-3 hours ago. I did take some ibuprofen as my back is hurting. Between my foot and ankle hurting, I want to take some Ativan and call it a fucking night. Guess I won’t be hearing the Sox play tonight. They did good last night. The pitcher, Rick Porcello, hit his first double, bringing in three runs. It was awesome. Usually a pitcher strikes out or maybe gets a hit or a sac fly. He came through and helped himself to a lead. The Nats slowly worked their way up but Betts hit a homerun and we kept the lead, thank god. It might have gone to extras otherwise.
Pain has once again brought out the suicidal me. I had sent my blog that I wrote in the midnight hours to my psych but when I emailed her asking her if she read it, she said she didn’t get it. Guess that is why I got no response. I sent it to her again. Hope she gets it this time. I am kind of scared because if she freaks out, what am I going to do? I don’t want to go back to the hospital and I won’t because it is a waste of fucking time. I will page her every hour if it comes to that. Fuck the hospital. I can’t believe just getting on my bed cause my ankle to go completely berserk. That with my foot pain, I am in a “wonderful” mood.
On the way home, I played the lottery because the pot is $270 million. My gut has been telling me to play since it was $210 and today it got really strong. I played my father’s and godfather’s birthdays. I will be happy with a free ticket. I was surprised the cost of the ticket went up. Crooks. It is now $2 when it used to be $1. I don’t know when it happened as I don’t play often, only when the pot is big. Hope I win. I will then move to Canada to avoid another US civil war.