bad day at PT

Bad day at PT

I wasn’t in too much pain when I woke up around 1015 this morning. I had to leave early because I needed to mail a book out to one of my CES friends. She wants to give it to her husband for Christmas. Hope it arrives in time. It was cold but not frigid as I waited for the bus. I got to the place around 1215, which still left me a half hour before my appt. I went to a Dunkin and had a sandwich and coffee. And I had to have some donuts, too.

I saw the therapist as I checked in. I waved hi and she asked if she could have a few minutes to eat lunch. I said sure. That gave me time to finish my coffee. My pain was around a 3 or 4, the lowest it has been in quite some time. She decided to give me a try on a stair step thing. I did that for about three minutes. My ankle felt tight but it didn’t hurt. Then we did some other core exercises. My pain level didn’t change too much. Next she wanted to look at where my pain was so I took my sneakers and socks off. I pointed to where it hurt. My ankle was hanging off the table as she poked and prodded lightly. I was getting a bad feeling about this as my ankle didn’t feel right. She had me move my ankle this way and that, moved my toes manually as I couldn’t really do so, for 16 years. She said they were tight. Duh, I didn’t get movement back after 16 years. She said my joint (ankle) was tight. Next thing I know I got a cramp in the area that has been hurting me and I saw stars. It hurt so bad, I started crying. I couldn’t help it. She tried to ease it but nothing she did helped. I was in a flare. It took the rest of the time we had to settle down some so I could put my socks and sneakers back on. I felt bad I cried. I never cry in front of people, but I must have felt “close” to her because the tears were there. I was dreading going home but there was nothing I could do but grin and bear it.

She gave me some stretches and exercises written on a piece of paper and told me when I get home to put a warm compress on my ankle. She also wants me to email her tomorrow to let her know how I am doing. We also set some appts up in the new year. I was thankful to leave. Unfortunately, I had to stand for at least 15 minutes for the bus to take me to the station. I then I had to wait another 20 for the bus home. I kept standing and walking around, sitting while waiting for the bus. I got annoyed the bus hit traffic near a school zone. I wish I had a car so I could drive home. I hate taking the bus but there really is no other way I could travel to my destinations.

By the time I got to my stop, the pain had let up a little bit but walking was still difficult. I took off my AFO when I got home. I got a facecloth and ran hot water on it. I figured it would be warm by the time I put in on my ankle. I went up to my room carefully and got undressed quickly so the cloth didn’t become cold. It was still warm and I left it on my ankle until it got cold. It felt a little better. I took my pain meds. I figure if the pain didn’t go away in an hour or two, I would take the strong pain pill. I then got on my laptop with the intention of writing a blog but it didn’t happen. I was goofing off on the net. I still was thinking of writing but a wave of tiredness came over me and I didn’t know if I should nap or not. By the time I was done goofing off, I was hungry. I tried to order a sandwich but you needed a minimum of $10 and the sandwich was $8. Oh well. I wanted cold cuts but didn’t feel like going back out. I asked my sister if she was coming home after work. She said later and what’s up. I told her I wanted her to buy cold cuts for me and she said she had some in her house. Score! Now I just needed the pain to stop enough for me to go down two flights of stairs. I eventually made my way down. The sandwich was good. She had turkey and salami and rolls.

I am so tired right now. It’s too early to take my meds. I wanted to watch Home Alone but I forgot where I put it. I think it’s in a CD case. I am hurting too much to stand that long taking it off my bookcase as there are other things on top of it. I will try and look for it tomorrow when hopefully the pain is down. My ankle is really throbbing. I am tempted to put some lidocaine on it. But it’s kind of cold in my room and I really don’t want my foot to get frozen like it did the other day.

physical therapy and other things

Physical therapy and other things

I didn’t sleep well. I kept on waking up with a crushing feeling on my foot. It was awful. I couldn’t do anything about it because I had already taken my pain meds and I didn’t want to take the strong pain meds because I had to be out and about by noon. I wasn’t in severe pain but it was just wicked uncomfortable and kept me from sleeping.

I finally woke up around 1045 or so, which left me 45 mins to get ready to catch the bus. I got up and my right leg nearly collapsed. My calf was hurting. If I didn’t have to go to the bathroom right then and there, I probably would have cancelled my PT appt. Once I started walking, my leg got better. I brushed my teeth after I used the bathroom. I didn’t brush yesterday as I just forgot to. I went back upstairs and I had to get dressed. It was cold. I then had the indecision on what to wear. I had several hoodies and sweaters. I couldn’t decide so just grabbed one. It caused an avalanche of the stuff on top. Great. I put things back and stayed for a while to make sure it wouldn’t fall again. A box I was saving fell so it went to the recycle bin as I left. I didn’t wear a baseball hat. I haven’t been wearing them lately. I guess with my hair being so short, none of them fit like they used to so will drop down and I’ve been getting annoyed having to constantly adjust it.

I went to the bus stop and waited. After fifteen minutes, my head was getting cold. I took out my knitted beanie. The bus came and there was no traffic at all. Quite unusual. I got to the PT place with 45 mins to spare. I checked my bank account and had a few dollars. I decided to get a donut as I was hungry. I should have brought the half sandwich from last night’s dinner but I wasn’t thinking. After I ate, I went to check in. My therapist came out as cheery as she is. She makes me laugh. She asked me how my pain was. God I HATE that question. How do you answer it when the “normal” pain chart doesn’t apply to you?? I just said a 7 as my foot felt like it was being crushed. She said that was lower than it was last time. (I last saw her in Oct, did she think my pain was going to stay a 9???) We talked about how things were going and she apologized to me about not letting the other PT at the brace clinic know my pronouns. She said it was a computer glitch and she corrected it as we spoke. She asked me what my sexuality was. I told her I am not sure. I love women and I am a transgender male so I am not sure what that makes me. She said once I am surgically corrected, I could be then in the male category of things. I said I understood. Unfortunately, until I do have surgery, I have to stay female in my medical records, just for my insurance to cover treatment and things. I found that out when I was researching how to change my gender on my license.

She started with some exercises as she felt it was time to move on in our therapy. Fine with me. She said that if any of them hurt, I could stop. So we went through different ones. One of them caused my upper back to cramp up so we definitely stopped that one until it settled down. She said it was because I was going it wrong or something like that. No kidding. She did say that my left quad was not having the same response as my right. I said that was most likely due to my weakness when the disc fragment was in my L3 nerve root. I told her about the cramping of my right leg calf and she gave me some exercises. I am glad she asked me how I was doing them because I was turning my right foot outward and it is supposed to be straight, with the toes facing the wall. OH, that was why I wasn’t getting a stretch. She also said that if I wasn’t getting a stretch to put a towel or something under the ball of my foot to raise the heel a little bit. Good to know. We tried different stuff to get the stretch of the various leg parts. She then wrote them down for me so I could remember how to do them. I probably will forget but she said I could email her with any questions. I really like that she is this awesome! She wanted me to see her twice a week but I got stuff planned the next few weeks so that isn’t going to work. She said as long as I was walking almost every day, that was the important thing.

I went to the pharmacy to fill my pain meds. I was dead tired and wicked hungry by the time I got home. The house was hot, which meant my mother turned up the damn heat. My aunt, cousin, and sister was over. I wanted some soup so as I brought it to the kitchen, I asked my aunt if she wanted some. Fucking lunatic then asked if I was trying to kill her. Who the fuck does that. I walked to the counter and then said if she didn’t want it, all she had to say was no, not give me an explanation or medical results of her cholesterol levels. Seriously, I don’t fucking care!! By the time I was done with my soup, my aunt and sister left. As hot as it was in the house, my foot because a brick of ice. I went up to my room to change into my PJs and threw on some thermal socks to warm up my foot. It was sweltering in my room. I turned down the heat before coming up to my room. There was no way I was going to keep it at 80.

I wanted to order some salsa with the chips I bought. When I open the app, I found that there were some changes to my cart. I checked what it was and they took off my shrimp because it was out of stock. I guess I will have to make the appetizers my friend showed me another time. The delivery will be tomorrow evening. I can’t wait to make chicken Caesar salad wraps. I also bought my cereal as I am all out. I hope the food lasts until my next pay period.

My neurologist still hasn’t responded to my email. I might call the office tomorrow and see if he is in the office this week. He might be off and that is why he hasn’t responded. I don’t know. I am hurting big time so I just took some Neurontin to try and settle the pain. I hope I am not up all night in pain. That would suck.

PT, painsomnia, and other things

PT, painsomnia, and other things

I had a rough night sleeping because of pain. I didn’t get to sleep till around 0400. It was really bad. I had set my alarm for 8 so that I could take my blood pressure pill. I have been bad in taking it in the morning. I also set the alarm for 11 so I could possibly make something to eat before going to my PT appt. I was too tired to do that when the alarm went off. I didn’t want to get up. My ankle bone was hurting me. I really wanted to stay in but it was too late to cancel.

I played on my phone for a bit and then got dressed. It was warmer than it was yesterday, but not by much. I decided to wear sweatpants and a sweatshirt. It was too warm for the sweatshirt and I took it off when I got to the PT office. The PT wanted me to give her an update on how I was. I told her I was in pain and for the past few days, it has been really bad. She wanted to know some things and I told her. Then she went over some things she wants me to do. She gave me some exercises to do for my back. My back didn’t like it after three tries. I had written down a lot of stuff so I could remember what to do. It’s not that hard but It all depends on my pain levels. My foot/ankle were really hurting by the time I left and then waiting for the bus didn’t help. The bus I took home had a maniac driver. He was heavy on the gas. I didn’t get up until the bus stopped when it came to my stop.

I am really tired and I emailed my psychiatrist to tell her that I will be begging my PCP for a longer acting pain med or I might kill myself. I’ve had enough. I can’t go on this way. I’m going to take my night meds and go to sleep. Till tomorrow all

Pain and torture? NOT

Pain and torture? NOT

I had a difficult sleep. I had set my alarm for 0930 but I woke up in pain around 5 and couldn’t go back to sleep. I was really tired so I took an Ativan and finally went back to sleep sometime after 6. My alarm went off and I didn’t want to wake up. I stayed in bed. I didn’t fall back to sleep but when I looked at the time it was 1015. Shit. I had to hurry up and catch the bus to PT. My Bluetooth headset was working okay until I got to where I was going. Then it became all staticky.

I was 45 mins early but I rather be early than late. I played with my phone. I didn’t know what to expect. The PT called me in at the appt time. She went over my history and what the evaluator PT wrote in her notes. She explained that she does things differently. She works on my sensitivity and then my cognitive ways to deal with CRPS. It wasn’t going to be the typical therapy where I am given a bunch of exercises and told to do them. I was going to get homework but they were not hard. She said, to my surprise, I had some weakness in my right foot that I use for stabilization. She wanted to work on that as my left is weaker than my right. Then she tested my zones to see where my pain and desensitization was. She didn’t hurt me too bad as she didn’t want to cause a flare. She said that if at any time I hurt, to let her know and she can modify what she is doing or stop it all together. I thought that was sweet. She said that I am driving the sessions and it will be based on my pain and how I respond is how she works. Those were music to my ears. She wanted me to download an app to work on the left and right. It was an app that you had to pay for. It also was a large download as it took several minutes.

I left the appt feeling good about how things were going to go. I had to wait for the bus as I had no idea of the schedule. Luckily for me, the bus that goes to my house was the bus that came next. I didn’t have to transfer buses, which was nice. I went to Walgreens to pick up my prescription and get some lunch. I wanted some White Castle burgers. I bought 2 boxes and an energy drink. I had some sliders and then I was sleepy. My hip was hurting and I’m not sure if it was because of how I was standing waiting for the bus or the exercise the PT gave me. I laid down and my foot/ankle flared up. I was not happy but not surprised either. I took some meds to quiet it down and just laid down until I fell asleep. I didn’t mean to sleep so soundly but I did. I figure I would get out of bed when my med alarm went off but my bladder went off first. My hip is still hurting after my nap. I hope I didn’t do anything to it.

I took my night meds when I came back upstairs. Unfortunately, one pill fell into my Powerade bottle. I drank it all to get the pill out but it had already dissolved. First time that has ever happened. I am going to go to bed early tonight. I am just feeling completely wiped out. I was going to order a steak tip dinner but I’m not that hungry. My PCP’s office didn’t call me about my scripts and I am not happy about it. I left a message for them to call me and they didn’t. Bums.

Great News

Great news!! PT went well. She listened and knew what I was talking about. She is going to refer me to the brace clinic so I can have one for around the house rather than use my AFO. She said because I had CRPS for so long she is not sure therapy can help me get function back but there is a CRPS therapist there that could help. I’m going to try it and as long as it doesn’t flare me up too bad or make things worse I’ll go the 6 visits. She was so understanding of the condition and my past nerve injury. She said if it works great. If it doesn’t oh well. I told her I would like to make a meal where I didn’t have to sit every few minutes or bake in increments because I had to rest. That will be the goal to get me a little more functioning around the house and doing activities that I do. Working is not possible as it is too late for that kind of rehab. I’m excited. l but weary. I have to go see my psychotherapist tomorrow afternoon so I hope I don’t flare tonight from all that she did manipulating my ankle and foot.
The best part is I didn’t have to walk to get there. The bus stops right across the street. Score!!

I am feeling really tired and am in a lot of pain now from everything. I’m glad my mother made supper. She is feeling better. I just hope I don’t need to wash dishes.

I’m now going to be busy with appts all of Oct. If I need to cut down on PT, I can. They don’t want this to cause me more pain. I see the Neuro specialist in 2 wks. Hope he just is able to confirm CRPS so my PCP is happy. The week of the 9th is going to be nuts because Tues i have my name change at the courthouse, Wed PT, Thurs is my physical, and then PT again on Fri. I might skip Fri because it will be too much. We’ll see.

I tried fixing my laptop screen, thinking it was a loose connection but it wasn’t. It is a little better than it was yesterday so that is good. Now I just need to buy a new screen as I know I don’t have to remove all the parts of my laptop. I’m glad I have computer friends on Facebook.

I found one of the payment forms for my insurance to call the benefits office to find out if they will be carrying the same prescription plan. The number on it didn’t work so I had to email my former supervisor to get the correct number. He responded while I was traveling so I will call tomorrow. Open enrollment will be soon. I wonder how much more I will be paying for my insurance. Right now I am paying $171/month plus Medicare which is $104/month. This doesn’t include copays for appts or medications.

I emailed my psych about today’s news and asked her to send me a time for an appt. I was supposed to see her Friday but was in too much pain to get out of bed. It was a crappy day out that day anyway so I am glad I cancelled. Hope I can sleep at a decent hour and that I am not up all night in pain. It will suck.