Saturday Blog 27022021

Saturday Blog 27022021

I had breakfast and now I am thinking of doing something for lunch. I don’t know what I want. I should make a bacon sandwich. I bought some turkey bacon that needs to be used up. I just don’t know if I am up to cooking as my legs hurt today. It is snowing so I don’t plan on going out. It’s turned to rain now but still raw so hasn’t changed my decision to leave the house. I ordered Chipotle for lunch and man it was so salty. I couldn’t eat it all.

I am so tired. I want to sleep. I might get a nap after I finish this blog. It will be my reward for writing one. I’m trying to get back to daily writing but all I can do is take one day at a time. I think I am going to have to push myself to write something every day even if I don’t get to 500 words, which is my minimum goal that I have.

I asked my friends on Facebook if they would read my blog if I posted it and so far a few said they would. Just trying to have some accountability with keeping this blog going. Been nine years almost that I have had this blog. That is a long time.

I have been having pain down my leg the past few days. It flares up my ankle. I think the CRPS is spreading to my high ankle area as I have been having a lot of pain there lately. It also has been swollen. My left hamstring has been such a bother lately and really painful. No amount of stretches help it. I also got fricken cramps and this really bothers me as I don’t know if it is uterine or bladder.

I bought a new shampoo that I hope will help my dry hair. I hope to take a shower tomorrow so I can wash my hair with it. I love the smell of it. My nephew bought it and I just refilled it basically. Anything that makes a shower more appealing I am for. It is so hard for me to shower lately because of pain. I wanted to shave my beard off tonight but it didn’t happen. I want to be clean shaven for a little while. I just can’t bring myself to do it though because I have been in a lot of pain.

I have been in a depressed mood and been thinking of some medication that will sedate me. I am just afraid that if I take it, my therapist will hospitalize me. I am no longer on this medication and I have it just to kill myself with it. I have been planning on ending it with this medication for some time but I just can’t seem to go through with it. I am too afraid that it will fail or I will be found before I die. The medication might help with sleep as I have been having so much trouble staying asleep lately but I keep waking up with pain so I don’t know if it will work. So many variables.

any thoughts?

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