Category: chronic physical pain

too many activities today

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Too many activities today

I kind of forgot that my med alarm was set for like 0530 so I woke and it took me a little while to go back to sleep. I fell asleep when my mother went downstairs for breakfast. I woke up and was feeling okay. I wasn’t in a lot of pain so decided I was going to the grocery store to make the chili cornbread casserole.

I wore my boot. I also wore shorts as today was pretty warm. I tried to get crumpets but I didn’t see them. I’ll just have to order them on my monthly grocery order. I got the other ingredients and two dozen eggs. I was hurting but I was still okay. I had to let the frozen corn thaw so I went up to my room to print off the recipe. I was sweating as it was so damn warm. It’s only warm for today so I don’t mind. The temp is going to drop tomorrow and then more on Sunday. Monday is going to be raining. Fun.

I made the casserole. Then I made a frozen dinner as I had to cook the cornbread and couldn’t wait for it to come out. I figure I would have it for dinner. I cleaned up and washed the dishes. Then I went back upstairs. I must have been on the second or third step and my ankle said fuck you. I was hurting bad. My mother had taken the cane so I was stuck. No one was home. I just stood there like a flamingo trying not to put any weight on my foot and hoping the pain would settle down.

I eventually made it back up to my room, slowly. It was too early for me to take my pain meds. I just put my feet up and tried to relax so it wouldn’t hurt. Guess that shower I was hoping to take before bed is not happening. Tomorrow I need to bring the casserole to my barbers. I already called and told him. I might get a haircut. Depends on how I feel.

just so tired of it all

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Just so tired of it all

I tried to stay off my ankle most of the day but it’s next to impossible. I didn’t wear the boot while in the house. I was in pain but it wasn’t bad until I took a nap. Now it’s excruciating. I am just feeling really depressed today. I don’t want to do anything. I half want to email my psychiatrist that I am doing poorly, but what is she going to do? There is nothing she can do. I am tired of reaching out and getting no where.

I sent a message to my doc last night for clarification about my ankle bones. I still haven’t heard anything. Now I am wondering if I will. I don’t get what is the point of sending them messages if they don’t respond. Just annoys me.

I am going to try and go to the grocery store tomorrow and get the stuff I need to make the chili cornbread casserole. My barbers want me to make it again. I would have gotten the ingredients yesterday but I was hurting too much.

I’m not sure if I will hear the game tonight. Last night was explosive as they got into another fight. They haven’t announced suspensions yet but probably will later tonight. The media keeps saying the “rivalry” is back. So stupid. I don’t know if I can stay up for 3 or 4 hours. I am so tired from being in pain and just dealing with the depression. I don’t know why it is hitting me so hard this month.

insult to injury

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Insult to injury

Not having a good day. I fell asleep around 7 pm last night only to wake up at midnight and stay up till4 or so. I wasn’t in pain, I just couldn’t sleep. I had some waffles as it was close to 12 hours since I last ate and that seemed to settle me. I woke up when my med alarm went off, my foot was bothering me in the atrophied area. It felt like it was going to cramp but wouldn’t. I made breakfast. I was going to make some burritos but wasn’t feeling up to it. Standing was hurting me. I took a shower after I ate, which only aggravated my ankle/foot. I was still having intense pain so emailed my psych to see who to best to see. She said my PCP so I called the office. Of course my doc wasn’t available and I saw the nurse practitioner.

I played with my phone and decided to catch the bus so I could have my espresso and maybe write in my journal. I wore the walking boot because I couldn’t bear weight. It was good because any forward movement caused me pain. I was early when I got to my doctor’s office, though I had to wait an hour to be seen. I wasn’t thrilled about this. I wanted to do shopping but now it wasn’t likely as it was getting late. The NP examined me and said she thought I sprained a ligament. She said that I had weak ligaments because of my surgeries. I didn’t know what surgeries she was talking about as I never had ankle surgery. Just pissed me off. Then she said to ice and elevate it. You don’t use ice if you have CRPS. I said I would elevate it. I had to go down to X-Ray as she said I had pain on my bone (malleolus). She said she would send me a message when the results came in.

So I have a sprain and I am to be in the boot for a week. Just fucking great. It is going to wreck my back. The report of the X-Ray is that there is come changes to my medial malleolus not my lateral. I find this weird as my lateral malleolus (the one that is outward) hurts me more than my medial. It doesn’t make any sense unless the radiologist got it wrong. Going to ask them to look again because I don’t understand how I have pain in the opposite malleolus.

I then fiddled with my time until the Sox game. It got bad. The starting pitcher, Price gave up a lot of runs. Then the relievers did. The $31 Million dollar pitcher said he had a “sensation in his hand” causing him to pitch poorly. OK. There were benches cleared after an exchange of words during a second base play. I got tired of listening to one of the announcers on the radio that tends to piss me off regularly but I have to tolerate him because I can’t watch TV. I am in too much pain tonight to listen to him so shut off the radio. That is when the fun started. Sox scored some runs and it is now 8-6 evil empire in the 5th. And a friend just texted me the top of the 6th. Reliever gave up 2 runs. What a shitshow. I am going to bed. This day has been nothing but awful

Pain, not sleeping, and other things

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders, painsomnia

I was up till 3 slept for an hour and then got up a few hours later. I was so tired. I was having serious pain where I have the part of my ankle that lost muscle (atrophied). Nothing was really working and standing was not a good idea. I think around 2, I decided to put the compression sock I bought on. It took about an hour for it to decrease my pain enough so I could sleep.

When I got up around 10 or so, I had some mini wheat cereal. When I poured the cereal, it just made a mess and I overfilled the bowl. Great. I picked up what was on the floor and then cleaned off the counter where shredded wheat had dropped. I put almond milk in my cereal. It was good. A couple hours later, I got hungry again so made a tuna sandwich with carrots and celery. It was really good. I didn’t end up using all the tuna so I will have lunch tomorrow or maybe a midnight snack. One never knows.

I then slept for a while. My mother called me to say dinner was ready but I didn’t get up. I slept for another hour. The house smelled like cabbage. My mother had cooked it. I was going to try it but the smell was bad when I took off the lid. No, thanks. I just had the spaghetti my mother made.

Now I am hoping to listen to the ballgame. My ankle is kind of sore. I had to take the sock off as I felt it was too long that I had it on. I’ve been having minimal pain most of the day. Hope it stays that way.