Tag: cauda equina syndrome

dental appointment and other things

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Dental appointment and other things

I had my cavities filled. There were two that needed them. The third is just being watched as the prescription toothpaste seems to be helping it. I am still numb and am slowly getting feeling back. I had a frozen dinner for supper because it was soft. I can only chew on my left side right now because my right is still numb. I have to go back in two weeks because I have another cavity on my left side but it is small. At this point, I just want to get it over with so I will have it done and then come back in 6 months for a cleaning. I will try to be better at brushing my teeth. It isn’t always easy because I lack the motivation to brush because of pain or depression that I feel.

My ankle is really hurting but because I am still having difficulty swallowing, I can’t take any meds at this time. I am going to try though in about a half hour. The dentist asked what I wanted to be called and I told him G. He then asked what pronoun and I said he. He was very accepting about it. I was so happy. It was a relief.

I am very tired as I had taken some Ativan to relax me for the procedure. I still wasn’t as relaxed as I thought I would be. Some of the shavings or whatever you want to call them, fell in the back of my throat and caused me to choke. The stupid assistant was not good with the suction thing. Now that the stress of it is over, I just want to sleep. But it’s too early to. I hope I don’t catch my second wind later.

I was able to shower even though my back didn’t like it at all. It cramped soon as I got in. Saves me from having to take one tomorrow as I need to be up early. I have an early appointment with my psych. I think it will be our last appointment for this month as she is taking a three week vacation. I think it starts next week, but I could be wrong. I’ll find out tomorrow. She will still have access to her email. I just won’t be able to page her because her beeper will be signed out to her boss.

I still haven’t heard from the therapy center. I sent them two requests. I am going to give them another week and see what happens. I’ve done all I can but camp out at their office. If I don’t hear from them by the end of next week, I will move on to someone else. Who that will be, I have no fricken clue. A friend gave me a referral network number so I think I will call and see if I get anywhere. It might be worth a shot.

Bollocks and Bullshit kind of day

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders, suicide

Bollocks and bullshit kind of day

I had shit for sleep so I am extremely irritable. I again woke up in the middle of the night in pain. Slept for a few hours, then my alarm went off. Good thing I woke up because my groceries came a few minutes later. I have been up since then. I put all the groceries away and then went to Starbucks for espresso. I didn’t feel like making coffee at home.

I was feeling groggy and sleepy so after an hour, I caught what was supposed to be the next bus but it never showed up. I was bullshit. I tweeted the MBTA and got no response as to why there was no bus. I had to wait an hour for the next one. My bladder didn’t like this. I went to walgreens for an errand for my mother and got a snack. I didn’t buy any snacks in my grocery order just food and water. By the time I came home, I was in a lot of pain. My foot was and is in severe pain. I couldn’t take my regular pills so I had to take the strong one. The pain is so bad that that didn’t even calm it down. I am in agony. Then I get a text saying my new phone was delivered. So I hobble down the stairs to get it. The box feels light for 2 phones. I open it and there is just one fucking phone. That is when I start swearing and using Bollocks because it covers more swears than I can think of.

I call sprint and they tell me one phone is on backorder. I checked and it says shipped on my status page. I was on hold with someone from Sprint and they transfer me to someone else that had a bad connection. He said that I needed to file a police report and I am like for something that didn’t ship?? He is like but you have the S5. I am like I ordered two S8s and only one was in the box and the invoices says QTY 1 so there was no other phone shipped, where is it and when will it be shipped. You didn’t upgrade. I said I got an email saying I did and my bill is now nearly $100 more a month so what the fuck are you talking about??!! This went back and forth, he kept putting me on hold to “check” things. I am getting bullshit and mad. My foot is ready to fucking explode and so is my damn head. Finally when I say I want to talk to a supervisor, he is like oh, we’ll put this in some kind of order resolution claim and you will be called on Monday. He then asks for a number I can be reached. After a fucking hour on being on the phone. Fucking fuck.

I complain on Twitter for this bullshit and now they are trying to help and taking their blessed time. I have had the secure window open for an hour now and they still haven’t responded to my inquiries. I am ready to shut the window and call it a fucking day. After I got off the phone with these idiots, I call my mother and tell her she needs to make dinner tonight because my foot is being a fuck. She asks how to cook the ribs and I tell her to follow the instructions on the package. Easy, peazy.

I got a call while I was on the phone with the idiots. It was the pain group coordinator. She left me a message saying I needed to redo the intake interview and her office will call with an appointment. Fucking great. Another damn interview with this lady who is a bitch. I emailed my psych to let her know and that I was in agony. I didn’t tell her I was suicidal from the damn pain that has gone on for almost 24 hours now. I pleaded with my support group to PM me or comment to have someone to talk to as I am in agony. This is the worst pain I have been in since last week and again, I didn’t do much to set it off.

So now that I know this phone is really my niece’s phone, I can set it up for her and play with it for a little while to get used it. It is sleeker than the S5. I really like this phone. I hope playing with it gets me more acquainted with it when I get MY phone, whenever the fuck that is. I am so bullshit it’s not funny. I had talk to two people who said there was 2 devices in the shipment that was shipped out and they lied. How is that good customer service??

it is after midnight

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

It is after midnight

I woke up a little after midnight as my bladder needed to be emptied. My back pain has leveled off some since I put a heating pad on it. I left it on until my mother went up to bed as I didn’t want to sleep with it on. I felt like that would be too dangerous. When I woke up, I kneaded the area of pain and it hurt more but I think I got the muscle knots out. My ankle is throbbing and burning so I will take some Neurontin to try and go back to sleep.

I am shocked that I slept for only a couple of hours. I was so tired that I could barely keep my eyes open. Now I am wide awake. I hate waking up in the middle of the night. The only pain that I feel is in the “thing” aka my ankle and foot. My back pain is minimal. I am glad. It has stopped raining so that maybe why. I want to go to Starbucks today. They have a new wrap that I want to try. It’s with steak and eggs. I’ve never had it before but I heard that it is good. I need to get out of the house today anyways. I haven’t left the house since Friday. I do need to shower as the last time I did was Thursday. If I get paid today, I think I will get my haircut. I still can’t believe in a week my hair has grown out from where I shaved it. It’s about even with the parts that I didn’t shave. I also need to ask my barber when he will be going on vacation in August. I’d just like to know so I can plan accordingly.

For some reason, I am really thirsty. I keep drinking my powerade. Hope it goes away soon or I will be up all night peeing. My brother in law fixed the drain in the bathroom sink as water was slow to go down. It was clogged with hair and gook. I’m glad I didn’t see it or I would have puked.

I’m going to try and go back to sleep. If not, I will probably write another blog.

feeling like a grump

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Feeling like a grump

I didn’t sleep well last night. I was up every couple of hours due to either my foot or back acting up. The temp dropped another ten degrees and is now raining. I am hurting very bad. My mother kept calling me all morning because she forgot her keys to the house. This is the second day that she has done this. I reluctantly had to get up because my bladder said so. I made coffee to try and wake up. I am just in a grumpy mood because of pain. My back is really bad, the worst it has been in quite some time.

I called a therapy place that I hadn’t heard from in more than a week after filling in their online submission form. I got their voicemail so now I am waiting for a callback. I need to call the dentist so I can get my teeth drilled. I’m kind of nervous to do it because needles and drills always gives me great anxiety when it’s pointed at me.

My check didn’t get deposited today so I didn’t order my groceries and other things. I don’t know why some Mondays it does go in and other times it doesn’t. So weird. I think I will have it tomorrow. I added some sparkling water to my grocery order. I hope I like it. I figure it would be better than tonic.

My mother made asparagus and eggs for supper. I was slightly reach for a slice of cheese and I got cramps in my lower back. This is the worst my back has been in a long time. It’s starting to set off PTSD again. I took an Ativan so hopefully I can take a nap to ease the pain. I took a strong pain pill as my regular one is just not doing anything for my pain. It’s just too severe.

I am thinking of emailing psych again about my back pain as I am getting worried because it isn’t going away. I know this is weather related and once it warms up or stabilizes, I think I will be okay. I don’t think anything major is going on but any time I have back pain like this I tend to freak out.

Got an email saying only one phone was shipped out so I had to call Sprint, again, to make sure two are in the box. There are. I will be getting them soon. The hard part will be to track my niece down to give it to her. I need to wait for the Amazon order to come in first so the phone is protected. I am not giving her an unprotected phone. I am excited to be getting a new phone, even though it will be a pain in the ass the first few days getting used to it. It’s an Android phone but I will have to program it so that all my preferences are there. That can be tricky. Hopefully it won’t be as bad as I think it will be.