Tag: cooking

used a lot of spoons today

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Used a lot of spoons today

I had a rough night sleeping. I woke up in the middle of the night and didn’t go back to sleep till after 0500. I hoped that I would wake up around 1000 so I could make my sauce. I woke up around 0930. That was good enough. I used the bathroom and brushed my teeth. Then I made oatmeal pancakes. My mother had a nurse come to the house around 1030 and I then started making the sauce. After the nurse left, my mother called me into the TV room to sort out the closed captioning. It wasn’t working. I tried everything I knew and then called Comcast to see if there was something wrong. There answer was the TV wasn’t connected to the cable box as there was no signal. OK. I had to call the TV manufacturer to find out how to fix it. So my mother had to watch TV with the sound on as she couldn’t read the words to the program. I told her I would try and see if disconnecting the TiVO helped at all.

I waited for her to have lunch in the kitchen and then I went into the TV room to finagle things. I disconnected the TiVo box and just connected the TV to the cable. Whatever I did, stopped the cable remote from working. Great. I called comcast again and the idiot tech kept giving me codes for the TV but it didn’t fix the problem. I spent at least an hour inputting 5 digit codes that didn’t work. I took the problem to twitter and within 5 minutes, the remote was working the way it should. I still didn’t have closed captioning though. My mother was upset at this but there was nothing I could do about it.

By the time I finished with the TV issue, the sauce was done. I was still full from the pancakes so didn’t make lunch. I told a friend that I would bring her some sauce and waited for it to cool a bit before I took it to her. She works at my dental office that is up the street from me. I had to mail some stuff and my mother wanted me to get some stamps at Walgreens. I have no idea why she doesn’t get them at the post office. The post office is like a block away from Walgreens. Just sounds stupid to me. So after I dropped off the sauce to my friend and mailed the letters, I went to Walgreens. I just made it to my street when my ankle went berserk. Fuck. I was wearing my AFO but that didn’t make a difference. I had been wearing the boot while making the sauce and fixing the TV. I was in a lot of pain. I made it to my house and carefully went up the stairs. I gave my mother her change and stamps and then went up to my room. My med alarm went off so I took some pain meds. I then played on my phone until I was ready to make dinner. I was getting hungry at this point.

I asked my mother if she was hungry and she said kind of. I decided to make pasta anyway. My ankle pain had subsided but I put the boot back on just in case. I cooked the pasta and then had dinner with my mother. Afterwards, I put what was left of the sauce in a plastic container and put it in the fridge. I was wiped out. I went upstairs to my room. My ankle is still hurting me. I got notification from Walgreens that the med the neuro wants me on is out of stock. Great. I am having misgivings about going on this drug.

I had notifications on Facebook so I checked them. Most were likes or reactions to the pics I posted. One was that It’s a Wonderful Life would be playing at a theater close by. I think I will watch it tonight as I finally reinstalled the DVD software. I was going to watch it the other night but was too tired to install the program to watch the movie. I am completely out of spoons right now and I want to go downstairs and get a twinkie. I really shouldn’t as I have gained a lot of weight. The jeans I wore today were kind of tight on me. Not a good sign. I feel bloated all the time after I eat, which just makes me feel like a fat pig. I know I got to lose weight but it’s so hard to keep track of calories and shit. I also love sweets so being on a diet just isn’t going to work. This weekend I want to make cream cheese cookies. They look easy to make though I don’t know if they really will be. I have to manipulate the dough to form a well for the cream cheese mixture, which is something I have never done before. I hope they come out ok.

Last night before bed, I started the book Tex by SE Hinton. I bawled in the 1st chapter. It was just so sad. I hope the book gets better. It has been years since I read this book. If I don’t watch It’s a Wonderful Life, maybe I will read. All depends on my pain levels and mental awareness. I am feeling really sleepy so I am not sure I can do either at this point. I did a lot today without meaning to. I still need to clear the TV cabinet of the wires I pulled out for the TiVo and throw the TiVo away. I am so sad that it no longer works. I had it for a good 16 years though. It lived its life. I also got to unplug the DVD player as the light is bothering my mother. I have no idea why there IS a light on if the thing is off. So stupid.

Disability Sucks

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Disability sucks

I somehow slept all morning. I didn’t wake up till around 10 or so. I wasn’t hurting too bad when I went to the bathroom. I had to use my sister’s because my mother was using ours and I had to pee really bad. My back was aching because it was 52 degrees. But I knew I had to keep moving or it would just stiffen up. I decided to head to the square to get a haircut. My mother wanted me to pick up some eggs. I caught the next bus.

My regular barber wasn’t in yet so I had his associate cut my hair. He did a really good job. I love it. I then I went to Starbucks for something to eat and a mocha. I wanted a snickers latte today. I got it hot rather than iced. I took out my journal after I ate but I didn’t write. I wanted to go home so I went to the grocery store for the eggs. I also decided to get a rotisserie chicken for dinner so my mother wouldn’t have to cook. I forgot to get stuffing so stopped in Walgreens to grab some and get my prescriptions that were finally ready.

I got home and put things away. My ankle was hurting but I couldn’t take my regular pain meds as it was too early. I took a strong pain med instead. I rested before I went back to the kitchen to peel potatoes as I wanted mashed potatoes with dinner. I really like making mashed potatoes. Around 1500, I went downstairs and wasn’t in too much pain. That all changed as I went to throw something in the bag for recycle when my ankle acted up. I could no longer bear weight on my foot. Fuck. I decided to wear the boot that I had to immobilize my ankle. It took me a while to put it on as it has been a while since I last used it. I was barefoot as I was wearing slippers. It was okay at first and then the padding was irritating the top of my foot. I was able to continue cooking. I made the mashed potatoes and stuffing. My mother had come into the kitchen so I asked her if she wanted to eat now. She said okay as everything was done.

I couldn’t believe the difference in walking around in the boot! I wasn’t hurting as much. My PT emailed me back a long message. She said it was okay to wear the boot but not to bed. She didn’t want me to wear anything while I slept. That kind of stinks because when I try to sleep, I have more pain. She gave me imagery stuff to do when I am in so much pain. She said that if the pain increased or got worse to see my doc.

I really miss cooking. I want to make a marinara sauce and a cake this weekend. Maybe now with the boot, I will be able to. I want to take a shower to get the excess hair off my head. I am really tired though. I don’t know if I have enough energy for it. Maybe after I take my night meds. Taking my night meds always seems to wake me up. I just hope it doesn’t make me bloated like it did last night. I swear sometimes it like I take another meal my stomach feels so full afterwards.

Saturday Blog 26 August 2017

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Saturday Blog 26 August 2017

I woke up around 8ish. My foot was being crushed and my bladder needed to be emptied. I played with my phone for a bit and wanted to go back to sleep but knew if I did, I wouldn’t go out to the meat shop. I checked to see when the next bus was and it was at 0915. I got dressed and then went to the bus stop. My mother didn’t hear me leave. She never does.

I got breakfast at Starbucks and wrote for a bit. Then I checked when the bus home would be. It was in about 40 mins so I left to do some shopping. I had to get eggs and my ground beef. The meat market had the ground beef on sale so I got a big package as that was the only way to get the special price. I didn’t want to get 4 pounds but whatever. I’d use some and then freeze the rest.

I called my mother when I got to the bus stop waiting area. I told her I got the eggs and she said she was calling me a mouse from now on because she didn’t hear me leave. Whatever. She asked how much the eggs were and then called me a “good girl” for getting two dozen. I cringed. She wanted me to get chicken wings but I told her I had already left the store. The chicken breast was too “expensive” and she was glad that I didn’t get it. For some reason, it didn’t look right to me so I didn’t want to get it anyway.

I came home and put the stuff away. I’m always super careful when I buy eggs because I can be a bit of a klutz. I have broken one too many eggs in my lifetime because I wasn’t careful. I took out some butter for making the chocolate zucchini bread I plan to bake. I was going to make it yesterday but was too tired. Today is still cool so I can turn on the oven. Shredding the zucchini is going to be fun, I hope. I bought four because it calls for I think 2 cups packed. It also calls for a lot of chocolate. YUM! I bought dark chocolate. I hope it comes out good.

I’m listening to Taylor Swift because I am in that kind of mood. I’m still on the fence on liking her new song. I don’t know what to make of it. I know it will grow on me if I listen to it enough. I can’t wait for her new album to come out.

My laptop screen is really going. The glitch problem is getting worse. I can only have my screen a certain angle to have it clear. I am so annoyed. I got to get in touch with my friend to find out how much a new one is going to cost. I hate to buy a new laptop when everything else on this baby is working fine. I eventually need to upgrade Microsoft office but I’ll do that when I feel like it or buy another laptop. I will get two licenses so I can put it on this laptop and the new one. Sucks that they will only allow a licensed copy on one computer when the software costs so damn much. No more sharing of CDs though I think now you just download the software. Most new laptops don’t have a CD drive anymore. Pretty soon they will be obsolete like the 3 inch diskettes.

I’m going to make Manwich for lunch. It will be my meal for the next few days because I am the only one that likes it. I haven’t had it in a long time.

Sunday Blog 23 July 2017

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Sunday Blog 23 July 2017

I woke up around 0400 in pain. My back was still hurting but less severe. It was mostly my ankle/foot pain that woke me up. I took my meds and then tried to go back to sleep. I got a text about a half hour later. It was a friend and we chatted for a while and then I drifted off to sleep for about an hour or so. I then took some Neurontin as my foot was burning.

My mother fricken called me around 1000 but I didn’t answer it. I was still sleeping and refused to budge. I woke up a couple hours later. I made coffee as I needed it badly. My mother was home then and she told me why she called. She had left her keys at home. My sister left the back door open for her. I couldn’t help it as I was sound asleep for the most part.

I had breakfast with my coffee. I made a turkey bacon and cheese sandwich. I also had some wheat thins. My appetite was kind of out of control as I was hungry about an hour and a half later. I had some ice cream and then prepared dinner. There was some corn in the fridge and my mother said to cook it. But it was moldy so I had to throw it away. By that time the game was on so I started watching. My mother had taken out some meat sauce to thaw and I was boiling the water for raviolis. My niece wanted some, too, so I took two bags out. It came out good. For the first time, the raviolis didn’t fall apart on me. The ravs really filled me up. I hope that is all I will eat today.

I saw ugly Ricky give up a home run and the Sox didn’t look like their bats were hot today. It was close to the 5th inning so I turned off the tv after I cleaned up and then went to my room. As I got up to put the dishes in the sink, my back creaked on me. I couldn’t stand straight. I was okay after a few minutes. There must be rain coming our way because that is the only time my back acts up. It’s like a switch. It is much cooler today than it has been the past several days. I shut off the AC.

Last night before I went to bed, I tried upgrading my phone and adding a line to my cellphone. I kept on getting errors and it wouldn’t let it go through. I gave up and then tried again when I got up this afternoon. It worked but I had to call Sprint to make sure as I saw only one device in the email. My niece and I will have the new Galaxy S8 phones. I went on Amazon to get the micro cards, screen protectors, and cases for them. It was much cheaper than Sprint. Sprint had a 64 GB micro card for $64. Amazon had the same card for $22. The only reason I did it was so that we can have contact with my niece as she doesn’t have a phone or a job. Her mother was thankful but kind of pissed that I did this as she is not the most responsible person in the world. She is 19. I told her when she does have a job that she is to pay me $40 for the line. I will have to juggle my budget around for the next two months as adding a line is bringing up my bill to $175/month. That is a huge jump. But it will work out, eventually.

Now that I got a new phone, I will need to back up my storage card so I can put it in the new phone. It has most of my music on it, which is what I need it for. I don’t need anything else. I know I had to transfer some app data to my card so I could make room on my phone’s storage. That was a pain because I have over 50 apps to go through individually to transfer the data. I also know it’s going to be a bitch downloading all the apps to the new phone. I’ll worry about it when it comes in.