no decision making sucks

No decision making sucks

I met with my therapist yesterday and the first thing she said to me was no decision making. I wanted to cry. I laughed instead. She asked why I was laughing. I honestly have no idea what I said but throughout the session, I kept giggling despite this being a serious thing. She said I shouldn’t go shopping either but I already spent a hundred bucks at Amazon because Christmas isn’t going to wait till I get over my head being bruised. I asked her about what we are to do therapy wise as I had wanted to start trauma therapy but she nixed that. Not until the new year. Great. She isn’t or doesn’t want me to think basically. I am supposed to limit my time online and stay in a dark room. I tried doing that for a while and it sucks when you are in a flare! My damn ankle is being such a fink. Also my bladder function seems to have stopped along with the pain meds being effective. I am getting hopeless really bad. The feelings of despair are hitting me and I really want to go to my happy place tomorrow. I told the therapist I wouldn’t but what she doesn’t know won’t hurt her.

I had bought a three pack of thermal socks a couple of months ago. When I changed my sheets, I put them somewhere. I cannot find the place I put them anywhere. I checked all my drawers. They aren’t washed so not in clean clothes pile. I ordered some more socks as I swear there is only two pairs I have been wearing when I go out. No idea where the rest of them went. I had bought 2 6-packs a year ago. These two are what is left. Maybe the washing machine ate them. I don’t know.

I needed this concussion like I need…actually, I don’t even know. I hate the headaches. I have some memory problems that are worse than it was before I hit my head. I have to keep track of the hours in between voids because I went nearly 9 hours before I realized it had been a while since I last peed. All this shit to keep track of and if you lose track of one thing, you are fucked. And the shit I am talking about are meds and body functions. I literally need to write down the time I take the breakthrough med or I won’t remember when I last took it. Same goes with the Tylenol and ibuprofen I have been taking. The NP psychopharm said to take them every six hours but space them three hours apart. HA, only way for me to remember that is by putting it in my app and that is NOT happening. I’ll take them together like I did before. I find it works better for me. I read the ED visit discharge and apparently I am supposed to take naproxen but I don’t like it. I like ibuprofen better, though I have to eat when I take it or my stomach is going to HATE me. I also got to keep track of the bowels. Fuck. Always need to keep track of those suckers. Think if I don’t go tonight, I will have to take miralax again. I just bought some more because I am running low. Thank god Amazon has it at a better price than Walgreens or CVS for a big thing. I think my appetite is slowly coming back as I had a burger today. I am even getting craving for Chinese food though I don’t know what to order. I really want to go to the one down the street where I can get like a combo meal for ten bucks or so.

any thoughts?

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