in a bad mood today

In a bad mood today

I didn’t sleep well last night. I woke up around 5 to pee and had a hell of a time trying to get back to sleep. Then my med alarm went off and I was cursing everything and their mother. I forgot to take my meds which probably made my sour mood more sour. I waited for the PT to come. My mother had the new dryer delivered today and the PT came about twenty minutes later. I was exhausted after I did the exercises. She had me do laps around the house and that made me more tired. I wanted to shower and possibly shave today but I don’t think that is going to happen. I am too grumpy and in pain to do either of those things.

I know I got a UTI. All day I have been peeing every 1-2 hours and it hurts really bad to pee. Sometimes there is blood. I have to wait another 24 hours for culture to come back. I hope I get it by the afternoon so I can message the doc if I need to. I think I am in a bad mood because I don’t feel good. Everything is bothering me today. I was able to nap for about a half hour until my phone’s email alert sounded. Then I couldn’t go back to sleep. I should have put my phone on silent. I got up after I answered the email to make some lunch. My sister did buy me the steak I asked her to get for me even though she gave me a hard time about it. It was a huge piece that I had to cut in half. It was good but I didn’t cook it through enough. I need to get my radar gun to get the temp of the steak when I make it tomorrow. My mother wanted me to do the dishes afterwards. I told her I couldn’t stand to do it and then she was like just be a yoyo and sit and stand. Fuck that. That takes more energy and I don’t have it. She can wash my one dish and pan. I am still recovering from surgery and the only reason she said something was because the tyrant said something to her about it. I really can’t believe how much of a bitch my sister is. We got along better before she moved in. Here it is a year later and we still get on each other’s nerves. I just stay in my room, only leaving to eat or use the bathroom. I could see if I was more than a month out of surgery but I am not. It is only 3 weeks and I am not supposed to be standing for very long. I can’t be a yoyo and refuse to be. I am not going to strain myself over a stupid pan and dish after I cooked a meal. They can leave it if they don’t want to do it and maybe I will do it if I feel up to it.

I don’t have anyone coming tomorrow and I don’t have to do anything except possibly get my prescription of antibiotics. I really feel like crap and I hate it. I really hate being sick and run down. I need another nap. I am so exhausted from cooking and the PT. She had me go up and down stairs which added to the fatigue. My ankle flared up when I got in bed after I cooked. It didn’t like me pushing off to get into bed. I have been in agony since. I took my pain meds and some Tylenol because I have a headache. I woke up with a stupid headache this morning. It goes away then comes back. I hope it isn’t because I have a leak again. I don’t want to go back on steroids. I gained nearly 7 pounds since coming off them. I need to lose 25 pounds now for me to have top surgery. I don’t think it will be this year. The back surgery is enough for me. Plus I know I won’t get help while I recover so I am not going to rush into it.

I need to shave as my beard is all scraggly. Maybe I will trim it so that it is neat. I have the clippers to do it. I just don’t have the stamina to stand while shaving and then shower afterwards. Mornings seem to be better for me to do stuff so if I get up early, I can possibly do this task. That will be my goal for tomorrow.

any thoughts?

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