tough past few days

Tough past few days

The past few days have been tough. Monday I had physical therapy and the exercises wore me out. I had to take a nap after the session. Yesterday I went food shopping and that wore me out. I hate feeling so tired after doing something. I did my exercises but I couldn’t do one of them with my left ankle/foot. It was just too weak to complete the tasks. I haven’t done the exercises yet for today. I plan on doing them when I am in the kitchen. It is easier doing them there than in my bedroom. Monday I need to do the PT via zoom because I have a webinar to attend and the times conflict with going. I am looking forward to this webinar as it is about psychotherapy integration. It is free which is the best part!

Yesterday I had therapy and it went well. We talked about what I wrote and she is willing to listen to whatever I want to talk about even if it is about my medical stuff. I am glad she doesn’t want to end things with me. She wants me to come up with some things to work on. My mind is blank. I have no idea what I want to work on. I wrote some stuff down. It was only two things I could think of but it is a start. I think working on interrupting the thoughts ->plan->action when I get suicidal would be good to disrupt. Just hope it will be good enough to talk about. I hate being put on the spot trying to come up with this stuff. But as long as I have something it is better than nothing.

I am freaking out because the Ride called and they are picking me up an hour early so I am planning on taking my book with me. It will be uncomfortable to sit for an hour and then have my session with my PT but I don’t think there is anything I can do about it. I can call in the morning and see if they can pick me up later. I am getting up early just so I can shower. I just hope it won’t be humid in the morning. I hate humidity. I got so overwhelmed I wanted to cancel the whole thing. I just was so unraveled about being an hour early. I don’t function in the morning so this is going to be interesting. If I have at least one cup of coffee I will be good. If I don’t have any coffee, that will be bad. I can go to the store though. There is a coffee shop up the street. I can get donuts there! Yes, I will be early and get donuts. And read my book!