Patriots and a kitten that is the cutest
These are my posts I have made on social media tonight describing the infuriating pain of complex regional pain syndrome or CRPS (formerly known as RSD). One of the paragraphs is to my wonderful, understanding psychiatrist which explains the vein popping of a flare. I don’t get the normal discoloration of CRPS. I get the swelling and pain and allodynia. This is my 2nd night of not sleeping. I’ve maxed out on meds except one, ativan which I shall take shortly. Hopefully it relaxes me enough that I can lay down and sleep. I really hate nights like this but a storm is coming so will be hurting all weekend. Barometric pressure has been so up and down, I can’t keep track of it anymore. It is painful when it like this. Not only do I flare but my joints stiffen and spine aches from arthritis. No one understands the battle so I try and be as descriptive as possible so some understanding can be understood.
Was just sitting in my bed leaning back on my headboard as ankle bone pain course through every bone in my ankle. Then all of a sudden went down through all my foot bones and I started laughing. This has never happened before. One or the other but never both and I am so deliriously tired I don’t care and so I am laughing because of the pain. I’ve used more pain med this month so I got to ration what I have left. Hahahaha oh lordy. Gonna be a fun night and a storm is coming. Wonder what levels of pain that will bring??
Fucking pain. Right where it feels like a knife gutting me up my foot, veins are popping up in a group. Foot still being crushed by unknown entity. Bones hurting severely. & it is midnight. 1200 mg gaba taken. Another hour maybe a BT med. After that, who knows…
haha CRPS is driving me crazy tonight. Every bone hurt in ankle and foot. Then I have a stabbing, gutting feeling where my veins are all grouped together popping like crazy. All blue from being together. Fun fucking syndrome nothing is working. Just taking the rest of the bottle of gaba and call it a night.
Losing the battle with pain. Feel like I want to pass out and pain laughs, and goes up more or hits another area of foot or ankle or both. Nuts. Suicidal ankle pain has started. Fuck. No sleep tonight after no sleep last night. Fuck.
Pain is off its kilter tonight. 2nd night in a row. Nothing is working. Haven’t taken 2nd dose of ativan yet only because I’ve taken high doses of gabapentin. Foot is being crushed. Malleolus is being hammered. And the suicidal ankle pain has started. Veins have converged so I now have a blue tint to my skin because they are popping up. You can see every vein in my foot as to how flared it is. Haha next time i need blood drawn they can use my foot. Haha ouch.
So here is a cute pic of a golden pup laughing
New brace and other things
I didn’t have a horrible night sleeping but I had the hardest time getting up. I am glad my psych appointment tomorrow is in the late afternoon so I can stay in bed till noon or so. I still have to check the schedule to see what time to leave. I think I will take the 1 pm one as I want to write for a while. It was really cold today. My bones didn’t like it one bit.
I got a lace up brace that is similar to the one I was going to buy at Walgreens except that it is white instead of black. The stabilizer things come out too, which is nice. The guy put it too tight so by the time I came home, I had to take it off and there was a red mark on my foot. Hope it is gone tomorrow and is not too sore as I got to wear the thing. It does it job but my heel still hurts. I hope PT will help relieve that pain. Lacing up the brace in PT is going to be fun. I have a hard time lacing up my sneakers!
Getting home was a bitch and a half. There was a bus at 147 but there was no way I was going to be able to make it. The next one wasn’t until 313. I checked the next bus at the other location and it was at 247. I wasn’t going to stay at the station for a fricken an hour! I took another bus closer to my home and caught a different bus route home. I reached home before 247 after traveling through town. Such a fricken bitch having this new schedule. I hope it changes to every hour next time because it gives me more options. I was so mad.
I was so bloody cold when I came home. My room was cold. Then my feet became a block of ice so I put thermal socks on. I changed to a heavier shirt. I was just wearing a long sleeve T-shirt. The jacket I was wearing needs a lightweight shirt or I would have roasted. I wanted a nap but pain prevented that. I got hungry and made a French bread pizza. I didn’t like it. Seems the quality of it went down. No wonder the price did, too.
I plan on reading my Harry Potter book until my meds kick in and I go to sleep. My facial hair is weird. Instead of it being on my face, it is under my chin. I don’t get it.
My mother has every TV on full blast. I have the whisperer machine on to drown out the noise. I just can’t handle noise today for some reason. I don’t know if it is because I am tired or because I am in pain. I am not in horrible pain but it is just at the level to be annoying. My foot feels like it is being split in half again.
I found an old pen that I bought at least 15 years ago or more. It needed a refill as the cartridge that was in it was all dried up. The refills just came in. I think they came from Germany as it is a German pen. It is a ceramic rollerball pen. It is kind of heavy on the ink but it writes okay. I have it on my bed to use it for a bit. I am sure it will go to a hole in my room again to collect dust.
midnightdemons7 
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