Tag: baking

dentist, baking, and other things

by Midnight Demon, posted in bipolar, Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Dentist, baking, and other things

I went to the dentist this morning. I wasn’t spared a cavity and need to go back tomorrow morning to have it filled. UGH. He also told me that I need to brush better on my back molars or I will get another one on my back tooth. Trouble is, that area always makes me gag so I am careful to avoid it. Now I will have to take Zofran before brushing my teeth or something. I hate getting my teeth drilled. I’m glad I went as I was sure I was going to have to cancel because of the weather.

It snowed but it has pretty much cleared by the time I had my appointment. The streets were wet but not icy as the temp had climb up a little bit. I was sweating by the time I reached the office building with my heavy sweatshirt and jacket. I didn’t wear the jacket on the way home. I was too warm and the office was really warm. I needed to cool off some.

I still plan on making my cake today. I need to rest right now as my ankle is being a brat. My right ankle was hurting as I was walking for some reason. That pain has gone away, thank god. I can’t have both ankles hurting me. That will so suck. I need the pain meds to do their magic before I start baking.

I took a nap for a couple of hours after I made some breakfast. My niece was pounding on the back porch door and woke me up. My mother wasn’t home yet so I had to go downstairs and let her in. I thought it was odd that my mother wasn’t home as she left early this morning. Then I remembered that she had a funeral to go to and those usually last all day. I had just started making my cake when she came home. The cake came out awesome and I put chocolate mini chips on the top of the cool whip. I need to let it cool completely before having a piece. I will probably have some tomorrow.

By the time everything was said and done, my ankle was barking at me. I even sat while mixing the cake so I don’t know why it’s so angry. It’s so damn finicky. I had emailed my psychiatrist sometime before going to la la land last night but haven’t heard back from her. I didn’t sleep well as the stupid strong pain pill made me dopey and only let me sleep for two hour intervals. It sucked. I really didn’t think I was going to wake up in time for my dentist appointment but I did. I hope tonight is better. Least now I know that when I have that slicing, piercing pain to take the strong pain pill because the regular pain meds just aren’t going to cut it.

Saturday Baking and other things

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders, suicide, suicide attempt

Saturday Baking and other things

I had left over cranberries from my cranberry cake and wanted to use them. I made muffins. It took me a fricken an hour to make. My back and ankle are not happy with me right now. I got a wave of the tireds when I started writing this and had to lie down. I thought I was going to sleep through the night so I set my timer for fifteen minutes so I wouldn’t fall into a deep sleep as I had to do the clean up. Fifteen minutes rolled around and I didn’t want to get up, just like I knew I wouldn’t. I forced myself up and went back to the kitchen where my mother was making dinner. She cleared some dishes by putting them in the dishwasher and left me basically all the cooking stuff that I had used. I washed them and got injured. The food processing blade got my finger. I forgot how sharp that sucker is. Then I had dinner. After dinner, I had to try a muffin and they came out good. I ate about three of them. They weren’t that big as I thought they would be. The Neurontin has given me hungry horrors today so I have been eating like mad.

After dinner, I just goofed off on Facebook. Found an article that stated the CDC basically lied about the opioid controversy in their studies by excluding studies that should have been included, according to the authors of the study I read. It was all over my head so I read what I could then went back to looking at videos and pics and memes. God, does Facebook have memes. I hate memes. Some of them are funny but after you seen them once, they lose interest when you see the same pics a thousand times, but with different sayings. I just don’t get the appeal. And my biggest peeve is when they say the quote as their status and then show the damn meme with the quote! WTF. Be original for crying out loud. Twitter does the same thing. Makes me want to take a cyber holiday.

Ohio and Nebraska didn’t have football games this week. I don’t think the season is done because other teams are still playing but I think it’s coming down to the wire who is going to play who in the bowls. There hasn’t been an official schedule yet but I hope it’s soon.

Other than baking, that is all I have done today. It was enough because I am totally wiped out. My ankle and foot are having a battle right now as to who is going to hurt more. I think ankle is going to win. But it doesn’t matter because I have meds. So take that!

I’m still thinking about going into the hospital. As annoying as it will be with med schedules and groups and dealing with potential idiot doctors/social workers, it would be nice not have to worry about whether I will OD every single night. Last night I came very close to taking more meds than I should. I don’t even know what set me off, though it doesn’t take much to set me off these days. A flare up, bad words with my mother, no cream for my coffee. Little things that normally won’t piss me off will suddenly push me off the edge. Maybe I need the safety to be watched and have check ins with people who may or may not give a shit about you. The only thing that will be a bitch is not having my pain medication at my disposal. I might not exactly wait six hours for my next dose but the hospital will, to the exact next minute I am supposed to take it. I can’t take it a minute earlier. The med computer system won’t even dispense the drug unless it’s within the time frame for the next dose. Sucks.

My aunt died this morning. She had been battling breast cancer for numerous years. She had one breast remove and then was in remission for a long time when it came back probably like ten years or so. It spread and she had been going for chemo and radiation, the works. Now she doesn’t have to fight anymore. She was a nice woman but god help you if you got on her bad side. My sister said that she and my father are probably talking up a storm, that is if she let you get a word in edge wise. She was a talker. She will be missed.

back to normal blogging…

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Back to Normal Blogging…

The blog I wrote earlier today was really difficult for me. I was crying in between paragraphs and had to take breaks because it stirred up so much emotion for me. By the time I was finished, I was mentally and physically exhausted. Then my ankle flared up so there went taking a nap. My feet got cold so I put on my socks. As I was putting them on my bad ankle, the elastic hurt my ankle as it slipped on past it. It was so damn painful I was seeing stars. Then I felt it to calm it down and it was really throbbing. I could feel it pulsating. That never happened before so I took some Ativan thinking it might be the beginning of a spasm.

I was supposed to get my DVD today of “A few good men”. The tracking said it was “delivered” at around 0930 this morning but nothing was in my mailbox. Liars. It didn’t get delivered until this evening with the rest of the mail. If I am still up, I will watch the movie. There is nothing like a good Tom Cruise movie to see when you feel bad. I really wanted to take a shower and should have taken it after I wrote my blog. I had a window before it really started throbbing and I missed it. Now I have to wait till either later tonight when my pain meds kick in or tomorrow. I am leaning for tomorrow. I have a new soap I want to try so I really would like to shower. It’s made for winter dryness by Dove. I hope it helps with the eczema on my face.

I got crappy sleep last night despite taking a crap load of meds. I think my strong pain meds made me restless as I was up every couple of hours. I finally gave up around 0430 and had a PB and J sandwich because I was hungry. That settled me down some and I was able to get back to sleep till around 0930-1000. I made coffee and finished off the cherry pie. Then I figured I might as well have something more than pie so I finished off what was left of the Shepard’s pie. It was so good reheated. It’s one of my favorite comfort foods.

I had bought some popcorn shrimp and I think I will have that tomorrow for lunch. I haven’t had popcorn shrimp in a long time, mostly because I don’t think of buying it when I am in the store. It was expensive but I didn’t care. It’s not something I buy all the time. I usually get fish sticks or filets. They used to sell a bag of filets online but they don’t anymore. I guess you need to get them at the store now. Next time I go to Market basket, I am going to get them. It’s cheaper there than at Stop and Shop.

I got a cranberry muffin recipe online. I might try it once my pain flare up has settled down. I don’t want the cranberries I bought to go to waste. I like baking. If I do it in the morning, I don’t have that many problems but trying to do it in the afternoon is not always good. It all depends on how much I sleep.

Saturday Blog 67

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Saturday Blog 67

I woke up around 1000 and decided to take a shower as I was hungover from the meds I took last night to relieve my pain. Then I decided to make breakfast. My back had cramped up while in the shower so I had to take little breaks while cooking. After I ate, I made coffee. It was so good. I think I finally figured out how to make the House blend coffee just right. I still plan on going to the party tonight but I looked at the invitation and noticed I had to RSVP by the 21st. I didn’t do that. I am going to show up anyway. I am wearing my shirt that I plan on wearing for the costume party. I just hope I don’t spill anything on it between now and then.

I finally made the Nantucket cranberry cake today. It’s cooling off so I haven’t had a slice yet. It took me about 20 minutes to figure out how to use the food processor I have. I couldn’t figure it out and thought it was broken. I just had it turned the wrong way. I also didn’t realize that you had to chop the cranberries and walnuts together so they are separate in the mixture. Oh well. I am sure it will come out fine. The almond extract was overpowering. I guess that is why they only asked for ¼ teaspoon. Other than using the food processor, the cake was easy to make. I did have to ask my mother to help me spread the batter evenly as I am not good at that. I am glad that it all fit on a 10 inch pie plate. I was worried at first that the batter was going to overfill the dish but it didn’t.

And of course my back flared up several times while making the cake and then washing the dishes. I had to sit down several times to ease the cramping. It really sucked. I still need to go to the party and I am wicked tired. I did too much today, between cooking breakfast and making this cake. I know that might not sound like a lot, but for someone with chronic pain, it’s too much. I am sure my ankle is going to be screaming at me tonight. I have decided I am just going to wear jeans and my slippers as we will be going next door to my neighbor’s. If I was feeling up to it yesterday, I would have made the pumpkin cake for the party but I wasn’t feeling up to it.

I went to the party and had way too much to eat and drink. I had an alcoholic beverage as well as soda. The alcohol got to me quickly because I took a pain pill before I left. I always forget not to drink but the host of the party had Mai Tai drink and I wanted to try it. It was very sweet and went down way too easy. I only had half a glass and I was flying. I lived next door so it wasn’t like I had to drive home or anything. They had loads of Chinese food there. I had some, which is why I feel so bloated right now. I usually don’t eat so late but I was at a party and I love Chinese food.

My ankle started flaring up because I was standing more than I was sitting. It was getting late for me anyways as I always try to take my meds by 2100 or I am up all night. My ankle is thanking me now and I am probably going to have to take a strong pain pill or I am not going to sleep tonight. I got to wait for my stomach to settle down some because I don’t want to get nauseous.

I did a lot today and I am sure I am going to be sore tomorrow. Least I will have my Nantucket cake to have with my coffee. I am so looking forward to seeing how it came out. It was still cooling before I left for the party so I didn’t want to have a slice.