Tag: baseball

might be storms so back is hurting

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Might be storms so back is hurting

I can’t seem to get away from pain the last few weeks. The weather is wrecking havoc on me. There might be thunderstorms this afternoon so my back is in a tizzy. I am hurting so much it is difficult to move. And my damn ankle/foot is going berserk on me. I am so damn tired, physically and mentally of being in pain all the time. I just want to sleep but I can’t get comfortable.

I’m also getting hungry. I think I might have some granola cereal. Monday when I went to the store, I wanted to get another box but they were all out. None of the other kinds of granola looked good to me as it had raisins or blueberries. I just like oats and honey. I will order two boxes when I do my grocery shopping at the end of the month.

I had some bad dreams today. One had very bad music in my head about dying. My brain has been making up lyrics and melodies. This was the first time it was bad stuff. I don’t remember it now but it was very upsetting. I hope it goes away. I texted my ex-therapist. I really miss her. She responded saying she misses me too and that she thinks of me often. I wish we could have a coffee or something but I don’t think that would be appropriate. It really sucks that we ended. Her birthday is this coming Monday. I will text her a Happy Birthday message. I’ve been doing it for a long time.

The Red Sox had a walk off Home run by my new favorite catcher, Christian Vazquez. He is so adorable and quick to throw out base stealers. I really like him. I am glad he won the game with his homer. Otherwise, they probably would still be playing in extra innings. We are back in first because the Skankees lost. It’s only by half a game but I’ll take it. There is only two more months of regular season baseball so every win counts.

It’s supposed to be really humid today. I’m not going to like it so I’m not sure I will go out for my espresso and steak and egg wrap. That is my new favorite breakfast sandwich at Starbucks. It is so good. I like it better than the bacon sandwiches I usually get. The rewards for this week is to get a double smoke bacon sandwich, a mocha, and then a mocha frappachino. I don’t like frappuchinos. I have had this type of reward before. I just don’t feel like participating in it this week. I just like my espresso with soy milk. I still like a mocha but I have gotten used to just espresso. Less calories.

If I stay home, I will make my egg and cheese wrap with the last lavash bread that I have. I can’t believe the package only has 4 wraps. Oh well. Maybe I will order it on my next grocery list. It is pretty good. I will also make my Hawaiian coffee. It is much better than Pike. I love the hazelnut notes in it. It is as strong as Pike but with a different taste.

I ordered another book called, Fire on the Mountain. It’s a historical fiction book based on what if Harper had succeeded in the South during the American Civil War. I like reading those kind of things. I really want to re-read Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, which is the last book in the series. It’s be on Twitter the past week or so because last week was the anniversary of its release. I have read it many times. It’s probably one of my favorites of the series. The book I have is hardcover and paperback. The hardcover has been on my rug for some time now. It’s kind of buried with stuff on top of it. If I dig it out, I hope it doesn’t cause an avalanche. That would suck.

I’m going to eat something and then try and sleep. Later my readers.

Saturday Blog 82

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Saturday Blog 82

I realized last night that I forgot to buy my monthly T-pass yesterday while I was out. I headed to the square and got my espresso. I decided to bring a book with me and read for a while. I noticed there were shuttle buses going to Harvard and was kicking myself. I couldn’t get my T-pass at the Square. I finished my chapter and then took a bus to another station. You can only get the pass at train stations. While waiting for the bus, I bumped into a former co-worker in the lab and we chatted for a bit. She just retired and I congratulated her on it. She is a really nice lady.

I took the bus and it made every fricken stop along the route. I was getting aggravated. I just wanted to do what I had to do and then go home and eat. I decided I was going to take the train home because it would be easier bus wise.

I am feeling a little better than I was yesterday. I was in horrible pain for most of the afternoon and evening. I did too much walking around and will not be going back to the mall any time soon, unless I have a ride. My sister freaked out because I spent so much on my prescription sunglasses. I told her because I have the progressive lenses, they cost a lot. She didn’t get it. Least I have it for the summer. I really love the frames. I wore my one of my new hats today. It’s 80 degrees out so it came in handy to block the sun.

Now that I am home, I am kind of hurting. I really didn’t do much walking around or standing. So frustrating that I can do the slightest activity and then hurt afterwards. It really depresses me. As I was telling my psychiatrist yesterday, I have a hard time just laying low all the time and sometimes even if I do, it will bring on a flare. I made dinner for my mother and I. Now I am exhausted and want to go to bed but it’s only 1830. Sox are losing. They gave up the lead so I am pissed. I just would like to have at least two games in a row won. It doesn’t seem like they will ever have a winning streak, but it’s still early in the season. Maybe April is not their month. I know it’s not mine.

blah day with pain

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Blah day with pain

I am having a difficult day. It’s hard to be moving. I woke up around noon. Ordered Chinese food and mostly ate the appetizers than my entrée. I will have some later, if I feel like it. I needed to go to Walgreens for my meds. I forced myself to go and regretted it when I came home. My ankle is really hurting me. I hope it’s better by tomorrow because I need to see my psych.

I need to change my sheets this weekend. The foam topper is sliding off my bed and I need to adjust it. I don’t know why this happened and hope it’s not a frequent occurrence. I don’t plan on doing anything today. Sox are playing early so there will be no game tonight. There is no score right now.

While I was out, I contemplated going to the Square to get some Starbucks. But I missed the bus and I would have had to wait a half hour for the next one. I didn’t feel like waiting. I also bumped into my uncle who read some of my book. He asked me when my third book was coming out. Ha, funny man. I am taking a break from book writing, least for now. I need to promote my second book a little bit. I have only two sales, so far and about 12 on the side that I either gave away or sold as autograph copies. I need a sales pitch and that is not my thing.

It’s 56 degrees out but it’s chilly with the wind. The house is cold but it’s always cold. My ankle is not liking it. Tomorrow is supposed to rain. I am not sure if I will be working on my blog project. Depends on my mood. I was really hoping to have it done this week but I’m dragging my tail. I seem to work best on Monday and then the rest of the week slides out of my control. I got a lot done. I just need to work a little more and it will be finished. Maybe this coming Monday I will work on it before I see my therapist.

I was going to shower today but I feel blah. I honestly don’t feel like doing anything. My ankle and foot are competing. I didn’t get the lidocaine that my PCP prescribed me because it’s oil based and would have stained my sheets. I will stick with the OTC stuff. It dries and doesn’t leave a residue. I have no motivation to do anything. My mother just called asking me what I want for supper and I don’t even know. The Chinese food I had is making me feel bloated so I don’t want anything. I should have gone to the basement to pick up some frozen dinners while I was out. Guess I will get them tomorrow.

Sunday is going to be a long day. I have to go to the 0800 mass for my father. I hope I can come home and nap before going out again. I told some friends I would meet them to feed some ducks and then go out to eat. I haven’t seen them since January and miss them. We might just go out to eat because there is rain in the forecast. It’s all dependent on the weather at this point. I hope my mood improves by then. I know I feel blah because my pain levels have been all over the place, making me miserable and tired all the time.

Sox won in the 10th inning 4-1. Sale didn’t earn his win despite playing really good. Kimbrel messed it up for him. I got some new Bluetooth headphones that were a deal on Amazon. I like the ones I have but I can’t use the remote function on them. I hope the new ones I can. It’d be nice to control the volume and skip songs rather than having to do so on the phone.

I need to get a haircut before Sunday. I hope I can shower tomorrow and then get the haircut after my psych appointment or before. Depends on my timing. I haven’t decided yet if I am going to get the same cut on top or if I want it short and spikey. I like having my hair long on top but it’s a pain to manage when I am not wearing a hat. I am trying to stay awake and not take a nap but it’s so damn hard. I am just so sleepy.

Rambling Ramble on a Sunday Evening

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Rambling Ramble on a Sunday Night

My legs finally stopped twitching. I had to take a Benadryl and some Ativan to quiet it down. It was awful because it felt like my whole body was twitching even though it was just my legs. It was really uncomfortable. I walked around my room to give me something to do. I then had to use the bathroom and when I came back to my room, it was a little better. My ankle is sore now so I took my pain meds. I was hoping to go back to sleep but I am too keyed up.

I might read a little bit. I am in the middle of a chapter in Robert Lowell again. I was reading for about 45 minutes the other day and couldn’t finish the chapter. It kept talking around in circles, again. This book is really trying my patience. I have about 200 pages or so to read, which isn’t bad, if I keep reading it. I am more than half way through the book.

I am kind of mad at myself for not getting my new topper on my bed. I should give myself some slack because I didn’t feel well most of the day. Tomorrow I need to see my psychiatrist and I need to leave early. I hope I remember the cake that I want to share with her. Think I will set my alarm so I don’t over sleep.

Tomorrow is Opening Day at Fenway. Can’t believe baseball season starts already. It’s a day game so I think I will miss most of it because I will be in town. I think I will get Thai food so that I will have dinner for tomorrow night. My mother doesn’t like it so more for me. I’ll also get spring rolls as I absolutely love them. I also need to go to the lab to pick up my belongings. It’s going to be sad because this means I am really out of my job, finally. I wish things could be different. But as the saying goes, everything happens for a reason.