I have been in a bad suicidal mood since last night. I honestly have no idea how I survived it. I asked my psych if I could call her today and she obliged. I wanted to tell her how things really were but I couldn’t bring myself to. I just sent her an email. I hope that she doesn’t call me. I don’t want to verbalize this because it will seem more real than it is right now.

I am listening to Peter Pan by Kelsea Ballerini. I figure I will take advantage of listening to music before I get sensory overload. I am in a lot of pain all because I took a shower. I woke up in pain and taking a shower just exasperated it. I am getting sleepy from meds so will write more tomorrow.

any thoughts?

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