Monday check in

Monday check in

I’ve got to shower today and I think after this blog is posted, I am going to do it. I woke up in the middle of the night again because I had to pee. Luckily I was able to get back to sleep. I woke up at 7 and feel rested, which is quite a change. I usually wake up tired as fuck. Last night I was having trouble with my suicidal thoughts. I texted a crisis line and it helped a lot. The person was so understanding of what I was going through. I felt validated and supported. I said that I had no plan even though I do have one but I didn’t want to get into it. I wasn’t going to do anything. It was just a lot of thoughts inundating me. My physical pain was really bad. My neck and ankle hurt so much that I was losing it. The stress that I have been under caused my neck pain as after I “talked” things out, I felt better. I know a lot of tension is in my neck and shoulders. I really hope PT helps alleviate some of the pain. My arm is feeling better. It just hurts if I touch the area that was jabbed. My chest is a different story. It still hurts when I touch it and it is swollen so I am going to have to put ice on it.

I had one cup of coffee but today might be two cups. I am thinking of having the second cup when I see my therapist around noon time. I had some toast with unsalted butter and it was gross. Never do that again. I think I am going to buy Irish butter so I can have it with toast. It is so good. I forget the name of the brand but my sisters love it, too.

I am going to try and clear off my bed today. I have been slowly getting things off and putting them where they belong or otherwise just tossing it on the floor because I have no where else to put them. Just hope the caffeine doesn’t wear off. I’d like to get my bed cleared before therapy and then change my sheets after therapy. I also plan on putting on the new foam topper that I bought that I hope doesn’t slide off the bed. This will mean I can’t be on my bed for a few hours but that is ok. I can go downstairs and stay with my mother while it settles on my bed. I just hope I can put on my sheets ok. I haven’t decided which blanket I am going to put on. I think I am going to put the blanket my mother made for me years ago on. It is heavy and warm. I just hope it isn’t too warm.

Snow storm is coming this afternoon. Snow is supposed to start around noon and end around midnight tomorrow I think. They are calling it a Nor’easter. I just hope most of the snow is plowed and shoveled by Wed when I have to go out for my PT appointment. If not I will have to have it virtually. I don’t like the virtual appointments. It is hard to really see what the therapist is trying to make me do. I am going twice a week for the next month or so. I really hope this works and decreases my pain. I just hope we get to work on my neck next because it has been really bothering me more than my shoulder.

Ankle is starting to act up again. I have noticed that when it acts up, my hamstring in my leg hurts, too. The hamstring pain is really bothersome as I can’t stretch it out or take anything for it. Usually if I just keep my leg still it helps with the pain. Last night was my niece’s birthday party. I was able to go down for dinner but I couldn’t go down for the cake as my ankle acted up. Pain is similar to what I am experiencing right now. I still hope I can shower. My hair needs to be washed. It is so damn itchy. I would love to find a shampoo that moisturizes your hair. I haven’t been able to find one. If someone knows a good brand, please pass it along. You can use the contact page or just comment on my blog.

any thoughts?

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