Tag: complex regional pain syndrome

drained and knackered

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Drained and knackered

I woke up around 4 because I had to pee and to take more pain meds. I had such an awful night. Around 2300, I had paged my psych because I was going out of my tree and I needed to hear her voice. She called me back right away and I told her what was going on. I told her I wanted a prescription for hope and she laughed. I was feeling so hopeless it wasn’t funny. I had posted something on Twitter and someone reported it as if I were in danger to myself. I think I know who it was and blocked him. I was so pissed because I couldn’t use my account until I answered their questions. I have removed my Twitter posts to write to Facebook. I just don’t need the hassle.

I got up and dressed to go to PT (separate blog). I was drained by the time I got there. I got some coffee and a donut. I bought some pumpkin donuts but I didn’t feel like eating them. I will have them for breakfast tomorrow morning when I get to Starbucks. I really didn’t do anything in PT, we just talked about different things and she gave me a list of things she wants me to do.

I got home and I wanted nothing more than to take a nap but it was too late. I needed to eat something but I had no idea what. I finally settled on some sliders. It helped wake me up some. I was ready to fall asleep so I decided to shower. Not a good idea. My ankle gave out after I had rinsed off. I was in a lot of pain. I just took some pain meds so I hope I’m not up all night in pain. I got the appt with the neurologist tomorrow morning and it would be good if I am sleep deprived. I told the PT that I really want this neuro to put it in my medical record that I have CRPS because my PCP doesn’t believe anyone. It’s so annoying because I have more than just chronic ankle pain.

The brace clinic got back to my PT and I need to get a script for a brace from my PCP. She wanted me to call my insurance because I had an AFO they won’t pay for another brace within 5 years. I didn’t get my AFO through my Medicare, which is what I am using for everything these days. So I don’t think there is going to be a problem.

I’m ready to throw my laptop against the wall. I’ve had to adjust the screen multiple times to get it right. I so need another screen. Two weeks and I can get a new one. I hope it solves the issue and it’s not the wire itself that surrounds the screen. That will be tougher to replace. If this doesn’t solve the issue, I will get a new laptop. I will buy Microsoft Office 2016. I am currently using Office 2010 so it’s time for an upgrade. I love this laptop but it is getting old and I don’t want more things breaking on it should the wire need replacing because I will have to take everything out to get to the part. Sucks the way they have constructed it like that.

PT Blog

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, chronic physical pain, depression

PT blog,

I had PT today and she is really good. We talked about things like flares, positions that set off pain, etc. Today we talked about desensitization. She wants me to put something soft, like a pillow case or cotton ball on the areas of my foot/ankle that are problematic. I only put it on for a few seconds before moving on to another area. I go up and down, where I hurt and where I don’t and then move on to something else, like the smoothness of a plastic pen. She was really specific with me. I told her the area that I would have trouble reaching due to my range of motion due to my back injury and she said I could skip it for now. The next thing to move on after these items was a towel as that is a rougher surface. After I get used to this kind of touching (you need to do it, not someone else), the next step is to depress the item for a few seconds. If it causes you more pain or flare ups, DON’T DO IT! She stressed that for me.

She also went over the results of the Recognise app (found on Android/iPhone). It is a paid app but worth it. She said that at this point my brain needs to be retrained to distinguish my left and right. At first I didn’t do well as I thought I would for the basic test. I got better and she showed me how to change the parameters as I find it easy. It is a cool app and when I am bored I use it as well as a few other times a day as my homework. I strongly advise getting this.

I brought up some issues that I like to do, like standing more for 10 minutes in the shower or being able to make a small meal, like pancakes, without having to sit every few minutes. We went over my back injury and she wants to help with that. I cringed as anything to do with back exercises don’t usually work for me because it seems like I work on one set of muscles and another set goes off in rebellion. So either way I am in pain.

We decided to work once a week and if I need a break, that is okay too. I see her till mid November. I’ll let you know how it goes.

ankle and foot flares so my mood sucks

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Ankle and foot flares so my mood sucks

I woke up around 0430 because I had to pee. I struggled with whether or not to go back to sleep because I knew if I did, I would have a hard time waking up when my alarm went off at 7. I just laid in bed. I had taken some pain meds as my ankle was being a jerk but it wasn’t too bad. I finally gave up resting around 645 and got dressed to catch the 701 bus to the Square. I brought a light bag with me as I didn’t know if my messenger bag would be acceptable in the courthouse.

On the way to the courthouse, I had my bag on my foot. After a few stops, It didn’t like the bag and I was in a lot of pain. Great. The pain got worse as I got off at my stop and walked to the courthouse. I had a few anxiety attacks from the pain. I was literally shaking and having palpitations. I went to where I needed to go at the courthouse and paid my fee. The woman said it would take four weeks to process. Damn. I thought it was quicker than that. She said she will call me when it was time for me to come back.

I carefully went to the train station that was down the street, about half a block. I was hurting pretty bad and had no idea how I was going to get home. Luckily, I didn’t have to wait too long for the train and bus home. I was limping as I got home and my ankle gave out on me as I walked up the stairs. I wasn’t going to do anything the rest of the day.

It was hot and humid today so I was sweating by the time I got up to my room. I must have been on my bed for about a half hour when my ankle bone flared up. I feel so depressed. I don’t know if I should keep my PT appt tomorrow or not. Going down or up the stairs is pure torture. I feel so hopeless right now. I just want to go under my covers and stay there permanently. To make me feel “better”, my mother said that she is not going to call me G. She is going to keep calling me my birth name. So much for her being okay with my name change. I just want to give up. I feel so weighed down and in so much physical pain that it’s like I am being crushed on all sides. Just kill me now. Why prolong the inevitable?

Next week I see my PCP and I am going to beg him to put me on a long acting pain med because every 5-6 hours sucks and if I don’t take it around the clock, I wake up in pain or I hurt worse for missing a dose. I’m done being a nice guy. He doesn’t, I will end my life. I don’t see what other choice there is. I can’t “live” like this anymore. My meds aren’t being totally effective anymore. I know I will NEVER be 100% pain free, but it has been so damn long since I was at say a 3 on a scale of 1-10.

I called the bitch coordinator that I met with on Friday to tell her I wasn’t interested in her group anymore. Her loss.

another disappointing season

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Another disappointing season

Sox just lost their final game of the season. I am disappointed and frustrated. I am also depressed that I won’t be hearing about the Sox until February when pitchers and catchers report. Just another year of frustration.

I woke up around 4 in pain. In addition to physical pain, I had nerve pain. I took a dose of Neurontin with my pain meds and then tried to go back to sleep. I did and didn’t wake up till after 1300. I wasn’t in too much pain but I took my pain meds anyway as it was getting close to the 12 hour mark and I didn’t want to go through withdrawal.

Now that the ball game is over, I plan on taking a shower. I will be going to the courthouse in the morning and I don’t want to take it as I might not wake up in time. I have my alarms set for the week. I like that I can choose a day to set an alarm rather than picking a day of the week. I don’t know if I will be able to sleep as I am pretty nervous. If I wake up before 6, I am just going to stay up as I know if I go back to sleep, it’s going to be hard to wake up when my alarm goes off.

I made coffee and something to eat today. My pain is not too bad right now, but that could change after I shower. I have been trying to take it easy today to not cause a flare. I’d really hate to miss the courthouse and have to wait another time to change my name. I have waited so long for this to happen. I don’t know how quick it will be.

I’m kind of stressing over this week because I have appts every day. I think I am going to cancel the PT appt for Wed and then just go Friday. I need to make the appt for Thursday with the neuro. I have waited much too long for that and I don’t want a flare to keep me up all night.