Tag: complex regional pain syndrome

Red Sox win game 3

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Red Sox win game 3!!

I listened to the Sox game today. It was win or go home. Things were bad in the first inning. They were down by 3 runs. Then they scored 1 run to make it 3-1. I got tired of listening to one of the announcers on the radio. He annoys me as much as his Twitter rants. My sister said that she made American Chop Suey so I went downstairs to have some. My mother was making BBQ spareribs so I didn’t want to eat that much. But I did. Then I had some of the ribs. The game was 4-3, with the Sox leading by 1 run. I’m not sure what happened next as I was cleaning up the kitchen and then went to my room to hear the rest of the game. Score went to 7-3 and then a Houston outfielder dropped the ball into the stands, making it a 3 run homerun, bringing the score to 10-3! I was so happy. We play tomorrow but the time depends on the stupid Skanks. They are facing elimination today, too. I hope they lose so we get the evening spot, course, I always hope they lose.

Other than stuffing my stomach, I didn’t do much today. I slept for about 6 hours. I finally had to go pee. Last night I had urine retention really bad. I felt like I had to go but nothing was coming out. I was talking to a friend of mine till around 5 am. I was in pain and it showed no signs of going away or backing down. I had moved my ankle a few times and that shot up my pain higher than it was. I was maxed on meds and I think between the new anti-psychotic and my pain meds, it just shut my bladder off. I emailed my psych about it but got no response.

I was having a somewhat okay day until I went downstairs and took 2 steps away from the stair case. My ankle flared up again and it’s been hurting me ever since. I haven’t taken my strong pain pill, yet. I might take it before bed.

My sister had posted on Facebook that she made some chili. I texted her and said she better give me some. Then she said she was making me a painting. I shook my head. While I was down my other sister’s house having the chop suey, she sent this sister a pic of the painting. She didn’t know it was for me so she showed it to me. I laughed because the text said not to show me. OOPS. It was a nice pic of a giraffe eating some leaves. My sister is a good artist, always has been. I can’t draw for shit. She brought over the painting when she brought me some chili. I’ll have it tomorrow for lunch.

Last night I was putting together the paperwork for my name change. I am going to go ahead with it on Tuesday. I set up a time for 9. I just hope I can get up early. Waking up before 8 hasn’t been good for me lately. I hope I sleep tonight.

Afternoon activities

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Afternoon activities

I woke up around 1400. I really didn’t feel like doing anything but I forced myself out of bed. I made my bacon and egg burrito. It was really good. I didn’t feel like making coffee so I took a shower, got dressed, and then caught the bus to the Square. What I didn’t know was there was an event going on. I had to get off a stop earlier to get to Starbucks. There were tons of people, some food carts, and streets were blocked off. This made me nervous as I don’t know how I was going to get home.

I went to Starbucks to get my drinks. The soy milk curdled so I asked for another drink. It tasted better with fresh soy milk. I wrote for a bit and then started to worry about how I was going to get home. I wanted to see if I could get plastic folder for my paperwork for my name change. I went to CVS and they had something. I bought it and then walked all the way down the street to another square to catch the bus home. I just missed it as I was approaching the stop. Figures. The next bus was in 20 minutes so I didn’t have to wait long. It was humid out and I was sweaty as I waited. Luckily, I brought a facecloth with me so I wiped the sweat off my face and neck. I didn’t wear a ball cap because I wanted to show off my new haircut.

Bus came and I had to go to Walgreens for my mother. She needed some paper plates. Luckily, they had them in stock. I also got some more White Castle burgers. I went home and was feeling okay, a little sore but okay. It was stuffy in my room so I turned the AC on. I put on my PJs and my foot started to act up. I checked my steps counter to see how many I walked. 3,915. Not bad. I know I can’t do this every day but it’s nice to do every once in a while. I hope I am not in excruciating pain later tonight. That would not be good, though I am kind of expecting it.

My Sox are not playing today. They lost their last two games. If they lose tomorrow, that is it. The season is over for them and the Astros advance to the next round of play. I am so disappointed. Their bats are pretty silent and they are not showing any heart in playing. I will try and listen to the game. This has been the first postseason that I haven’t been able to watch the game because they are on channels I don’t get, like the MLB Network and FS1. Bastards.

I just took my night meds and I hope in a few hours, I will get to sleep without waking up again in pain. I am hurting a lot though. My foot is so cold and the top feels like someone is crushing it. I’m sure the pain will spread as time goes on. I almost fell down the stairs as I was bringing up some paper goods for my mother. Damn balance is off. Scared me but I didn’t fall. I’m going to try and read a book. I haven’t read in more than a month. Think Harry Potter and the Cursed Child will be good. It’s easy reading.

waking up in pain

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders

Waking up in pain, all day in pain, can’t sleep because of pain, when will it end???

Around 0430, I woke up in pain. I had to use the bathroom and was walking ok until I left the bathroom. My foot exploded in pain. It was hard to walk back up the stairs to my room. I thought about calling my psychiatrist but what can she do? She can’t do anything. I feel so frustrated. I took my strong pain pill and some Neurontin. I also took some fiber so I can have a bowel movement. I hate being backed up because of meds.

Looks like today is going to be another day in bed. I just don’t care. I wanted to go to the Square for some espresso. If I feel up to it later, maybe I will make some coffee at home. I still have my Hawaiian coffee. I now use spring water to make my coffee rather than tap water. It makes the coffee taste better.

My last grocery order I bought some Boar’s Head bacon. It’s already cooked, you just microwave it to heat it up. I might make a bacon and egg burrito when I make the coffee. It all depends on how I feel.

I got the results of my blood tests. My cholesterol and HDL are over the normal by 1 point. My doc said that it was “very mildly elevated”. It could be the meds causing it. I’m not worried about it. If it was more than a few points, I might be. Everything else looks good.

Man my foot is hurting so damn bad. It feels like it is being crushed. I hope I get back to sleep soon but I’m not sure because of the pain I am in. I took some Ativan to calm me down as I am getting upset by the pain.

in a depressed state

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, chronic physical pain, depression, mood disorders, suicide

In a depressed state

I wanted to write another blog last night but I couldn’t get the words out. I felt super depressed about being in pain and it just caused this downward spiral. I just wanted to die. I still feel this way because my pain is really bad. I didn’t go to PT today because I didn’t sleep. I went to bed after 0400. I thought I would be able to go but I just could not get myself up. I called about an hour before my appt to say I wasn’t going.

I tried calling the courthouse to set up a time for Tuesday. For some stupid reason, I said 9. WTF was I thinking?? So 9 am Tuesday I go with my paperwork to get my name changed legally. Then the headache of calling everyone and their mother starts. I’m going to try and go to Social Security the following week. Depends on how I feel. Once that is done, I will go to the RMV to change and hopefully renew my license. My license expires in Dec so I don’t know if it’s too early to renew. I have to go in person, which is going to be a pain in the ass.

Around 4, I emailed my psych telling her I had enough and that I had a plan and I was going through with it. She wanted me to call her this afternoon. I paged her after I had something to eat. As I was going back to my room, my foot bones exploded with pain. I was again suicidal. I just wanted to die. There is no reason for me to continue going on. I don’t see the point in talking to her, I really don’t. My pain is not going to change, well it will but only for the worst. I’m still waiting to hear back from her. I really don’t care if she doesn’t call. I’m not really in a talking mood.