Painful Saturday Blog 29 Sept 18

Painful Saturday blog 29 Sept 18

I woke up before 8 as bladder said so. I went and when I came back to my room and in my bed, my foot exploded. I took my morning pain meds. I waited a half hour and the pain didn’t calm down, I took a breakthrough med. There wasn’t a hell of a lot that I needed to do today but having pain that early in the morning was not good. The pharmacy wasn’t going to be open till 10. That gave it some time to settle down.

I made breakfast. I was going to make scrambled eggs and make it into a burrito. However, soon as I put the butter in the pan to melt, I forgot the scrambled part so had country style eggs. I put cheese in it and on the burrito tortilla. I barely finished it. It always makes me so full. I decided to make coffee. I ended up spilling it on myself. I went to take a sip and I tipped my cup before it reached my lips. Oops! So after I finished the coffee, I decided to shave and shower. My back didn’t like it. By the time I was finished shaving, I had to sit down. Whatever my brother in law did to the water control changed the hot/cold settings. I had it on half way and the water was warm so I moved it over a little bit more to get hotter water. I hate when it touches things because he always fucks things up.

Showering was fun as I had to sit down every 3 minutes or so. It wasn’t just my lower back that was hurting, my upper back was also cramping. I have no idea why this is happening. I hope when I go to the pain program they can figure out why this happens. I went upstairs and got dressed. I didn’t put my PJs on as it was after 10 and I needed to go to the pharmacy. I rested for a bit. Then I didn’t know what to wear, jeans or shorts. It was 65 degrees out so I opted for shorts. I was glad because I was halfway down the block before I realized I forgot my scripts at home. Do’h! I was sweating by the time I walked back to the pharmacy. I have no idea why I was sweating so much. It wasn’t really hot out or hot in the store. I guess the exertion of walking just makes me sweat, I don’t know. I had my cane with me because I didn’t want to wear my air cast for my sprain.

I came home and thought I would need another shower. I took off my shirt and it was soaked. I dried off and just rested. I wasn’t in too much pain. The pain meds were working. Around 1230, I got hungry again so made some bacon. I always use at least a quarter pound when I make my sandwich. I love bacon. And this time I didn’t get a pound of fat like I did last delivery. This was decent cut.

I came back to my room and my foot again flared up. It was about 4 hours after I took my meds. I waited to see if rest would calm it down. Twenty minutes later I was still hurting so I took another BT med. While I was waiting for it to work, I was reading Twitter. The game was on but it was on Fox and I hate that network. I didn’t feel like listening so just read Twitter. I read a thread about how an author who wrote about a princess hero keeps getting asked by educators, librarians, and parents when she will write a book about a boy hero. Her response is that there shouldn’t be a gender associated with a book and there are boys that like this book. But in the adult world, they hate to see that so make the assumption a boy hero is needed. It got me thinking about my books and why they are not selling well, if at all. I came up with this thread (a thread is a string of tweets that relate to what the Twitter writer strings together):

I was reading a thread about an author who wrote a princess hero and teachers/librarians/booksellers kept asking questions about when the author would write something for boys. The author said that the book was a book not a gender type thing. It got me thinking of my books. They haven’t been best sellers and I know part of it is that I need to promote them more. But family members have asked me to write happier books. I am not a happy person. I write the darkness that is inside of me. Some people can relate but most judge a book by its cover. It deals with #mentalillness, forget not touching it. It deals w #suicide not touching it. Why are things so scary for people to read? I share my pain so others can possibly understand and know they aren’t alone. I let the darkness out so it doesn’t stay inside to eat me up. Yes what I write can be scary to others. I guess I can relate to the author but on a different level.

any thoughts?

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