Author: Midnight Demon

Sunday Blog

There was nothing more that I wanted to do today than sit on my bed and read my book. Wasn’t meant to be, at least not right now. I had my niece’s birthday party to attend. It was good. My cousin came over and it is his birthday tomorrow so we celebrated him and he cried. I felt so much emotion for him. I haven’t seen him in a long while but I am glad he came.

Yesterday was a bad day but at the end of the day it turned good. My mother wasn’t feeling well. She had invited her siblings over for lunch and they all came over. She was in bed for most of the day. Then my aunt took a seizure and we had to rush her to the hospital. She is still in the hospital but doing better. It was very scary. Everyone was upset and crying. I just hope she doesn’t have to stay in the hospital too long.

Then the end of the night my niece shows up with an engagement ring! Everyone was so happy for her. I was so happy. It was just the elation needed to end the day.

Right now most of the family knows my mother has cancer. Today it is hitting me hard. I want to cry but can’t find the tears. I am really sad. I have therapy tomorrow to talk about this. I have had such a difficult relationship with my mother and even though she has cancer, she still treats me the same, as her “daughter” instead of a son. I don’t know what to do about this. It bothers me but there is nothing I can do about it. It makes me think I should give up but I can’t stop being me.

I got an email from UMB. I got accepted! Looks like I will be attending in the fall if I can financially manage it. I should hear something about this in the coming weeks.

I know I usually write a Saturday Blog but things happened today I can’t write. I am too upset. So here are two giraffes hugging. Love hour love ones. You’ll never know when they will be taken from you

Easy Friday 27012023

I had an easy day today. I didn’t do anything. I just rested as I was still sore from PT yesterday. I also don’t know what I did but when I got into bed last night, I pulled a muscle in my thigh so that is sore. I ordered McDonalds for my niece and I for lunch. It was good. I then did some applying for school and financial aid. I had to go digging into my tax paperwork for the information I needed for the financial aid stuff. I made dinner for my mother. She just wanted a pasta dish.

I never got a chance to read my book today so I will read it tonight before bed. I have been trying to stay away from laying down since I got up this afternoon. Pain in my ribs is sort of helping as I need to sit up to alleviate the pain. I trimmed my beard today and mustache. It was getting a little unruly.

I am so tired today and I haven’t even done anything. My shoulders are tight and I just want to lie down all the time. My muscles still hurt from PT yesterday. I hope the soreness goes away. I wish I had a bathtub so I could rest with hot water on me but I don’t have one.

Busy productive Thursday

I had a busy day. I changed my sheets. Then I took a shower as I smelled. I washed my sheets. I think they are in the dryer. I am not sure. I brushed my teeth before I left the house for PT. I was tired after the shower. It took a lot out of me.

PT was exhausting. I did two machines for seven minutes each and then did some weights. I have to do calf stretches as my calves are tight. Nothing new. I’ve always had tight calves. The PT worked on my side muscles where my ribs are that were tight. It was so painful to work them out. It felt better afterwards. I was tired after I left but I still had a couple of errands to do before going home.

I went to the Square to pick up some food and my prescriptions. There was a shit ton of traffic when we got to the smaller square closer to my home. The lights took forever to change and no one moved when they did. It was so fucking annoying. The bus just stayed there for like three light changes. And this is one of the longer lights so it was a long wait. There was a line at the pharmacy. At one point there was just one tech at the register. I don’t know why one of the techs kept leaving the register. Made no sense.

I finally mailed my birth certificate amendment so that I can officially become male. I am so fucking happy about this. I hope the paperwork comes before my surgery so I can get everything changed by then. I am so excited my transition will be complete this year. Having top surgery will be so conforming to me. I just hope I am not in too much pain.

I am fucking exhausted. Tomorrow I don’t have to do jack shit. I think I will just read my book, maybe finishing it as there is only a few chapters left.