Tag: baseball

Sox Win Game 3

by Midnight Demon, posted in baseball, Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Sox win game 3

Another nail biter. My favorite (okay one of my favorites) hit a grand salami that sent Houston fans to the exits. Sox won 8-2. A grand salami is a grand slam which is when the bases are loaded and the batter hits a home run scoring 4 runs (those on the bases and himself). I love this game. It was hit by Jackie Bradley Jr. who has struggled at bat more times than I can count but has come up big when he is hot, and he has been. I always say “take that haters” because a lot of fans and others didn’t want him on the team, especially when they were looking for good hitters but he is an invaluable center fielder and saved more runs than anyone I know. He is an all around good guy and I hate the hate people give him because he isn’t a power hitter.

My foot has been hurting me throughout the game. I went out today. I gave my barbers some of the pumpkin cake I made. Then I did some shopping. I meant to buy burgers but forgot! I also forgot my food stamp card so I had to pay for my food. UGH I didn’t want to do that. I bought most of the ingredients I needed for at least two recipes. Now I just need time to make it, which most likely will be Saturday. I also will be placing my grocery order Friday. I knocked some stuff off as it was approaching almost $200. I went nuts buying stuff. I hate being on my phone when I can’t sleep because I go mad on the shopping carts. But I don’t buy them. They just stay in the cart until I have a clearer head. Not so much with Amazon. I bought two albums last night. I think it was two. No it was one album and a book by Neil Gaiman. I almost went nuts with books by Neil but I restrained myself. I don’t know how, but I did. I still want to buy David Nail’s new album. I might buy that tonight to listen to. Last night I bought Tim and Faith’s album. I can’t believe it came out but there was nothing about it coming out. UGH. I follow Tim and Faith on social media but it might be that there wasn’t a big review on it or something and it got buried with all the shit the Orange buffoon does. I muted a lot of political shit I was following because it was just stressing me out. I tweeted to vote blue and some guy asked why. I wanted to ask him has he been awake the last 18 months or so? Like seriously. UGH people are trolls. If he was not from the states I can understand but most that ask stupid questions often are trolls and I’ve learned, as hard as it is, not to respond. They go away and you don’t ever hear from them again.

I put ice on my right foot because it was bothering me. I accidently put it up against my left to hold the pack there and when I realized that wasn’t smart, I put a shirt in between my feet. UGH. I got my new therapist appointment tomorrow. I am kind of nervous about it. I hope it isn’t for nothing but when I think of the hassle of getting there weekly, I kind of hope that it doesn’t work out. If he is a good guy and he is willing to help me with real shit not just listening to me, then I can deal and it will be worth the hassle. If it does, I’ve decided to just email my therapist I see now and end things. I don’t think he will care either way. I missed three appointments with him and he hasn’t asked why or how I am doing or anything so fuck him for me coming in and saying we are done. No point in paying him for another session.

I have shot 2 tomorrow. I might write two posts tomorrow. One will be about my transition and the other just my general daily post. I might combine them. I don’t know yet. Maybe not as I want to write about how the appointment with the therapist went and the transition one. I have everything set for tomorrow. I know there is enough for three shots but probably not 4. I got to get one of the biohazard things for the needles. They sell them at Walgreens for like $7.50. I have no idea the cost to send them to dispose of them.

I haven’t seen my roommate. I think I am going to get the stuff on Amazon as I don’t think Walgreens sells the stuff I need. I will get the peanut butter from the grocery store. They love peanut butter. Damn rascals ate my powerbars that had peanut butter in it the last time we had mice. I know he is still in my room because I hear him. Things are moving and rustling.

I got a text from my mail order prescription. I sent them an email saying I didn’t get one of my blood pressure pills. I looked every where for it and couldn’t find it. I sent the damn thing and then fucking found the bottle under some bags on my bed. Fucker. So they are sending me more pills. Lovely. I am stocked for 180 days. Whoohoo. Ugh. I tried to stop it but it has already been shipped out. That will save me when I have to pay for my meds again in January. I am glad I called because the number I had was wrong. It was some federal number. Weird. My insurance is going to go up next year. I have no idea how much. Last year it was $26. But I need it for my prescriptions and dental. I need to make an appointment for my dentist. One tooth is bothering me. I am sure it is the one that the dentist didn’t want to drill. He just gave me a toothpaste to use at night but he doesn’t understand chronic pain life. He is lucky I brush my teeth once a day. It is very rare I brush twice a day. But I take my meds with Powerade so I don’t gag. I can’t take it with water. I have tried. The pills melt faster and if I can’t swallow in one go, forget it. I am throwing them up. So Powerade it is. I know it probably isn’t the best choice but it works for me. Also water in the morning makes me sick. I can have it any other time of day but cannot take it until after I have woken up and eaten or drank something like coffee. I bought two things of coffee today. Pike and Guatemala. I haven’t tried the Guatemala one so no idea if I will like it. It is medium roast, which is what I like. I will try it Thursday.

Pats and Sox win!!!!

by Midnight Demon, posted in baseball, Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Pats and Sox win!!

Sox won. OverPrice would have had his first postseason win but they pulled him in the 4th inning. I don’t remember why as the fucking announcers were going on and on about some shit that I couldn’t follow. At one point, I lost track of the game because my favorite announcer was being shut out from speaking over the two other bozos trying to analyze what was happening while the umps conferred with one another over whether the batter got hit or it was a foul ball. I was so damn mad. I don’t watch the game as it is painful for me to sit for 3-4 hours and even though I was in my bed, I was hurting big time. I had this stabbing knife pain that felt like with each stab was trying to pry my ankle joint open. Now the top of my foot is hurting because I had it under the blankets but apparently they were too heavy. I just had the blanket (1) and sheet (1). I don’t understand CRPS even though I have had it for 8 years now.

My friend texted me the last 3 minutes of the Pats game. They won by 3 points. Brady did his thing. It was awesome, I am sure. I wish I could watch the games but like the baseball games, I just can’t sit that long anymore. I just hurt too much. I can’t listen to football games because I have no idea what the hell is going on with yards and shit. I just know when they get first downs and that is all I care about. One of the Pats players, who was hurt earlier in the season, is now out with a concussion. He is a good player. I hate to see him out.

One of the Sox pitchers in the hospital for a stomach illness. I hope the rest of the team doesn’t get it. That would be dreadful this time of year with the playoffs and stuff. He didn’t pitch too well last night so wonder if he was sick and just played through it.

I am hurting so bad. I saw my roommate. But he disappeared after I scared him away. I haven’t seen him since. I keep looking out for him so I can take a pic. I can only show it on Twitter as my sisters would freak and blame me for having a mouse in my room, like I invited him or something. They get ridiculous.

I am glad both Boston teams won today. I was watching the score of the football game as I listened to the Sox game. I got worried when Kimbrel was in the top of the 9th inning as there was a 3 run lead. He knocked it down to a two run lead and I nearly lost my shit. Then he got a fly out with the next batter and game over. I was happy then. Just wish this pain was down. I took my breakthrough med at 11 pm. That was two hours ago. I think this is nerve pain so that is why I took some gaba. I also took some fiber pills as I haven’t had a bowel movement in three days. I hate that I have to keep on top of this or I get back up real quick and it takes dynamite to go.

In two days I have shot 2 of T. I hope that I have some changes. All that I have noticed since stopping the female hormones is stupid vaginal stuff that I fucking hate and is yucky. But no bleeding and crossing fingers, hope that continues. It only has been a week so still early to tell. All evening, I have been moving my head up and down to see through my glasses to read shit on my phone. I think I am going to get new glasses because this is ridiculous. I don’t know if it is because the lenses are smaller than my other frame or what. It is just annoying.

I don’t know how I am going to sleep with my foot not under the blankets. I have not been successful with one foot out. It gets cold and I have to have it under. Nerve pain is so damn annoying. I am getting tired from meds. But my foot pain hasn’t calmed down enough for me to move it. I am so damn aggravated. Temps are going down tonight. It is already 44 degrees, a ten degree drop from earlier today. Going to be cold most of the week. Thursday when I see my PT it is going to be 40 degrees, but that might change. Least there won’t be rain this week. I can deal with the cold as long as there isn’t precipitation.

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!!

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!!

OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing and listening can be difficult. Kimbrel was almost struck in the head as he came out of the bullpen by a fucking Yankee fan with a can of beer. I am sure that rattled his nerves some and it showed. He loaded the bases and couldn’t get an out. He got one out, then a run scored. Then he walked a run. The score was 4-3 at this point and he needed one more out. I was at the point where I wasn’t going to have nails anymore. Ready to get the clipper out and just hack away (I don’t bite my nails as that is gross). I do pick at my cuticles, which is probably worse, but hey, this is a playoff game. He finally got the final out with a ground ball, which was reviewed and the call standed. Game over! Red Sox win!! I went crazy! I was so damn happy. I changed my wallpaper to the Sox instead of just black.

I couldn’t sleep as the tension was too much. Pain was there but not so great as it was the other night. Between 12-1230 am I thought someone set off firecrackers. Found out today that it was gun shots. No one knows who did it or where or if someone was shot. It was at the end of my street. My sister told me the police was going to our yard to look for casings. Just wonderful!!

I didn’t go to sleep till around 0330, again! I didn’t put the do not disturb on as I didn’t have anything to do today. I canceled therapy. I was going to call some therapists but I haven’t brought myself up to actually do it. The alarm went off and I took my meds and then went back to sleep for a couple of hours. I hear my doorbell ring but I thought my mother was home, not that she could go down the stairs but if she needed me to, I was there. I didn’t hear her call me and she didn’t call my phone so I just lay there. Then my sister called me and told me what happened. She called again asking me to bring her packages inside. I opened the door and there were four boxes on the porch. WTF. Two were for her and two were for my mother. I didn’t carry my mother’s up. They were light but I was just lazy. I needed coffee and something to eat.

I ended up eating the last of the chocolate cake with my coffee. I showered afterwards. My mother must have gone to a doctor’s appointment because the showerhead was on top not in the holder on the side (we have the flexible showerhead). She doesn’t like it but tough shit. She said she got water everywhere. I asked if she had the curtain covering the sides of the shower and the curtain inside. She said no. Well, there you go. She had also turned it to the side so no wonder the water leaked out. I know the shower flex thing we have is not going to last. She is going to find another showerhead and use that. But it has to be $20 or less because that is what it should be (SMH). I just hope she doesn’t put the damn basket she has back in the shower seat because I like actually sitting down while I need to shower. She just doesn’t get it that I am disabled, too. Though she will never think of herself as disabled. Pisses me off. I will take the damn basket and throw it away. I don’t care some of it is my stuff. I don’t want it on the seat.

Today is day 4 that I have been off female hormones. I haven’t shown signs of bleeding and I hope that I don’t. I think it will be a few more days before I know I am out of the woods or maybe a week. I hope that with my shot next week will boost up the T and decrease my stupid female stuff. I really don’t want my menses. They suck.

baking on a cold, rainy day

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Baking on a cold, rainy day

I had a difficult sleep. My alarm went off and I was disoriented as I didn’t know what the noise was. I shut it off and waited a few minutes before getting up to take my meds. Then I went back to sleep, which was oblivion for me. I woke up and because it was dark and cloudy, I had no idea of the time. I hoped it wasn’t after 2pm and when I reached for my phone, it wasn’t. It was around 1230. Perfect. I went downstairs. Brushed my teeth and used the bathroom. Then I made a fried egg. I wanted to make the lemon loaf today. I took my time before committing to it. I was still tired and wanted coffee. I had bought the premade Starbucks iced coffee. I made that. One of my creamers was knocked down and leaked. There was nothing left in the container. There was only a little bit in it anyway so not a huge leak. I grabbed my half and half. I thought it was the opened one and it wasn’t. WTF. I grabbed the opened one and used it all. I opened the one that was new and put it back in the fridge. Least I wouldn’t have to struggle with the damn top to open it when I used it next.

After I had my coffee and food, I decided to make it. I got all the ingredients ready. I had no idea 8 oz of sour cream equaled a cup. I had opened one and I am glad I bought another one, which is sweet because I like having sour cream with my chimichangas. I mixed everything together and then I put the batter in the loaf pan with the parchment paper. As I was pouring the batter, one side of the parchment paper got jealous of not having batter so got in the way. Yea, so I had to scrap that off and then pour again. I didn’t flatten out the sides too well as the paper was indented in the batter. I didn’t really care. Popped it in the oven and waited for it to cook. When it was done, I let it cool and then put it on a rack. I took off the paper and one end had a huge indent. Looked like the butt of a chicken (as you will see in the photo). I made the glaze and it didn’t taste right. I asked my mother if this was thick enough and she said no. I added regular sugar rather than powdered as it tasted chalky. I made it a little thicker. The loaf had cooled off and then I put the glaze on. It didn’t stay on top! It all fell to the bottom of the cake holder. I suck at this. I didn’t eat it (though I wanted to) because my mother was making dinner and would be upset if I got full off the loaf and not her pork chops.

I went upstairs to relax. It was cold in my room. I played on my phone for a while. I mostly been on Facebook all day. I have decided to take a Twitter break right now. Last night I got really upset because of all the shit of the hearing and everyone had an opinion on the lying assaulting bastard. I hated that the fucking gov’t was interfering with the FBI, telling the FBI who it can and can’t contact. There were conflicting reports on this. One said it could contact people and then another saying it couldn’t. Both tweets were “BREAKING” and not by a news source so I don’t believe either. People seem to want to add “breaking” to their tweet just to get RT and likes. Pathetic!!! I do know the FBI was limited. I don’t know if that has been lifted or changed. And I heard that the Dotard is somehow involved in who and who can’t be talked to so I don’t know what to fucking believe. It is a damn circus. I find it upsetting because as a survivor of abuse, this is just triggering. This is why I didn’t report my abuse. And I will never come forward with my ex who raped me because it will be a she said kind of thing. It has been going on for more than a week now and I am sick of it. The Senate will vote anyway so shows how much they fucking care about the integrity of the man they are putting in for a lifetime commitment. But the Senate is so corrupted anyways it isn’t even funny.

I have no distractions until Friday, when baseball will be played. We have no idea who we are playing until the results of tomorrow night’s game. I don’t know who I want to win. Oakland has been tough all year with us. The snakes are the snakes but might be easier to beat as I don’t think most players have been in the postseason before. I am just worried about game 2 as OverPrice is pitching. He might wake up with an ass ache and decide he isn’t going to pitch or goes ahead and pitch poorly. I hope he opts out this year. I don’t want to see his face on my team anymore. He has been nothing but drama the day he signed the contract.