Don’t feel like writing today. Did too much and pain is horrible.
Here is a song that is running rampant in my head. Hope you like it
Tag: chronic physical pain
Protected: Depressed beyond words
Bugger of a day
Bugger of a day
I got up around 11. I needed coffee and something to eat as I barely had anything yesterday except protein bars. I went to my sister’s apartment to use her Keurig. My mug that my BFF in Canada was there. Sadly, whatever they did to wash my mug, all the lettering had come off and what remained was the heart. I feel really bad about this because the mug means so much to me. A person who loves me sent me something they made out of their love for me. I shouldn’t have left it downstairs but I forgot it and didn’t think it would get “wrecked”. Anyways, I made my coffee and then brought it upstairs so I could make an egg burrito. I could barely finish the burrito.
My sister had texted me saying to go through some stuff in the living room. My ankle was already flaring even before I made my coffee. After I ate, I had some stuff thrown away, some to good will and the rest I kept. I have one chess set I will be donating to a chess club in the town over from me. The meet in a square not too far from me, just down the street with the bus. I sent them a message so I hope I get a response. I didn’t go through the clothes that were in my closet. My back and ankle were already telling me to stop so I did. I retreated to my room. I saw the likes of my bed and I had to do the bedding today. I rested for a bit after taking some pain meds. I played on my phone until I started to get really “lazy” and then started taking off the bedding. I had to rest because my back kept cramping up on me. Then I got the clean sheets and put them on after I positioned the foam where it should be. I know it isn’t going to stay in place; it never does. I need to get either a mattress thing to hold it or for another $25 buy a gel foam topper. I am kind of hesitant to get the gel foam only because people that have reviewed it says it makes them hot. I cannot tolerate being hot so I don’t want to spend the $50 for it and then suffer. The one thing that is sure of is that it won’t slip like the foam.
After I did that, I had to shower. I was sweating and smelled because I had not showered in a few days. By the time I shaved and showered, my foot/ankle and back were killing me. I was done. It took me three fucking days to change my bedding. I hope that I can keep my bed clear of stuff, though every time I say this, it never happens. Shit in the one corner accumulates and then when I need to change my sheets, it is overwhelming. I am going to try and clear out one drawer of my bureau so I could put my boxers in it. I have to decide what I am going to do with my old scrubs. They no longer fit me as I have gained so much weight. I guess I will send them to goodwill. I don’t know what else to do with them. I have two drawers that I use for different things other than clothes. One is to store my medication and supplements, the other my memorabilia of my beloved Sox. I honestly have no clue what the bottom two drawers and the last drawer hold. But whatever is in it, can be given to goodwill as I haven’t worn it in years.
I hope my foot doesn’t act up but I can tell it is already. It started to get cold about an hour after my shower. It still feels cold and is getting painful. Last night I took Neurontin around six. Seems like I will be doing the same tonight, though it is half past right now. I had not done much the past two days. I went out yesterday just to get some more Gatorade. I also checked on my prescription and was told it would be in today. I had called and they said it would be about two hours for it to be ready. Next thing I know, my PCP’s nurse called to say that my doc will be sending it to another pharmacy because the one I sent it to didn’t have it in stock and doesn’t know when it will be. I was bullshit! I sent a tirade to their Twitter account. The fact they didn’t have the decency to call me is absurd! I don’t think I will be their customer anymore. I have had it.
Because my foot is bothering me, I am just going to try and finish the Harry Potter book. I haven’t read it in a few days because it is the part where Voldemort comes back and I *hate* reading it. But soon as I finish this book, I can move on to the next one, The Order of the Phoenix. I like that one better, even though Sirius dies at the end. I should ask JK Rowling what happens to Ron, Hermione, and Harry as they didn’t have their last year of Hogwarts and didn’t take their NEWT exams. She never talked about it at the end of Deathly Hallows. I am just curious. I have no idea if there is a graduation party like we have with high school or do they not get a diploma? I don’t know if the question has ever been raised. It is interesting though to think about.
another pain day number 983747
Another pain day
I went to bed at what is turning out to be my normal time of between 3 and 4 am (or later). I had woken up around 6 so used the bathroom and then took my morning meds so I wouldn’t wake up in a few hours. Then fell back to sleep.
I woke up with someone walking up the back stairs. My cousin, who has schizophrenia, came over and was fricken yelling for my mother to open the door. He wasn’t coherent in his speech as she kept asking him if he was at the back door. All the yelling back and forth made me stay in bed even though my bladder was close to bursting. I did not want to see my cousin at all because he starts a conversation and it always makes no sense. He left about a half hour later and I rushed to the bathroom.
I made some coffee. I wanted to change my sheets today but didn’t know if I would because my legs were killing me. My right calf is still being a fuck and my left hammy is still sore, though not as much as it was yesterday. I finished my coffee and then went back to my room. I had cleared off my nightstand so I could put my cup of coffee but no use for it now. I got back into bed and decided to clear off some of my office. I started putting the books and notebooks on the cleared area of my nightstand. It turned into a pile! I have no idea how this accumulated. I took off the few clothing items I had. I had to sit every so often because my legs were being stubborn. I had just one corner, the one that accumulates shit like weeds, to be cleared off. I had to use the bathroom again and when I came back, I cleared it off. I sat for a while. I know I couldn’t change my sheets. There was no way I could stand long enough for that to happen as my calf was already giving me fits and had started cramping. I had tried stretching, kneading, massage, rubbing all to no effect of relieving the soreness. Finally I put the heating pad on and that has helped a little bit. I didn’t want to because I was fricken hot but it had to be done.
I had my comforter full of my finger pickings and somehow nails that had escaped while cutting them. I took it off the bed to wash. Now I just got to change the sheets, which I will do tomorrow. I still got to have some energy to shave my head, although I am kind of sleepy so maybe it will wait till tomorrow.
I had given myself the T shot soon after midnight. My left thigh was not happy. I tried to lay down to sleep afterward but I kept getting knee pain. I had to put a lidocaine patch on that area for it to calm down. I knew giving the shot was risking as my thigh has been bothering me for the past week. I hope it is just sore from the injection and not something else. I guess I will find out tomorrow.
Tomorrow I am going to try and go to Stop and Shop to get more Powerade. I only have one bottle left. I would have had more had there not been a fricken tainted lot that tasted like orange. It was so potent even as I emptied the bottle, the smell was overwhelming. I now know to avoid that lot. If you drink lemon-lime Powerade that is regular, not zero, it is the lot that ends with PWC1. I don’t know if I will go, depends on if I change my bedding or not. I am getting closer to having this done though! Such a bloody task to do.
midnightdemons7 
You must be logged in to post a comment.