Category: depression

A day of the tireds

I pretty much slept all day despite sleeping at least 7 hours through the night. I woke up at 5 after going to bed at nine. First time that has happened in a long time. I of course had to empty my bladder. I am still discouraged that I need to empty it every few hours. I have just taken my night meds so drank some fluids. I probably will empty my bladder again in a few hours and then hopefully sleep through the night again.

I had a meeting with my psychiatrist. He was helpful to vent to about the bladder stuff. He asked how it was going with the new antidepressant/pain med and I said there hasn’t been much change. I am supposed to increase the dose to 100 mg after six weeks. I will need to talk to neuro about that before I do it. We briefly talked about how therapy was going. I said it was going. No major changes or anything. I forgot to tell him I had some akathisia the other night. Oh well. If it happens again, I will tell him. It seems to happen more when I don’t get a good night of sleep for a few nights.

I have decided to stop taking my uro meds for a few days. I want to see if there is a change in my bladder. Worse that can happen is that I won’t have the urge but I cath so it doesn’t really matter. I am not getting a clear answer from urology about this so I am just doing what I think is best for right now. I hate going to the bathroom every few hours or less. It is driving me crazy. I got a message from my uro who said she would have me see the NP as she is out of office at the moment. I have an appointment with the NP in two weeks as a follow up to the hysterectomy. The good news is that with me controlling what I drink and putting me on a schedule,  I haven’t experienced as much pain as I was in yesterday. I have been cathing if I get the slightest discomfort even if that is an hour after I had cathed. I am still leaking discharge from the infection I have so am still wearing pads. I want to go back to my boxers so damn bad.

I wanted to go out today but I was just so damn tired despite sleeping a good night sleep. I still am kind of sleepy and can probably go back to sleep. I really need to rest.

An exhausting painful day

My day started with arguing with my therapist about canceling my appointment with her tomorrow. I told her I wasn’t feeling well and she basically asked how I could know a day in advance that I wouldn’t be well. When I came home, I texted her that my bladder has been causing me pain and sitting hurts. She gave me an appointment for next week and said to feel better.

I went to see my surgeon about my pain. She is really wonderful. She was concerned about my pain and so had ordered tests to see what was wrong. CT showed no abscess but my bladder was full after I had cathed. She thinks I am not emptying so she advised to cath after voiding, something I have been loathed to do but now can’t avoid anymore. It took 7 tries to get blood work today. I was not happy. I have bruises all over my arms and hands. It took three tries for an IV for the CT. So I  was stuck 10 times today for vein access. I was at the hospital for five hours. And peed three times. My urologist doesn’t think that is significant. I am frustrated that my bladder is causing me so much problems. I am also nervous about my blood work. It hasn’t come back yet. Depending on it and the urine culture, might mean more antibiotics.

I took an Uber home even though it costed me a lot of money. I should have taken a cab home as that probably would have been cheaper. I had to cath when I got home and there was a lot of urine in my bladder even though I haven’t really had anything to drink all day except three cups of water and whatever the contrast was. I haven’t eaten supper or lunch. I don’t really know what I want. My mother is making rice with her stir fry so I might have some rice.

My blood work just came back. I don’t have an elevated white count so I don’t have an infection but I still am waiting on urine culture to come back, which will be sometime tomorrow if negative, Wed if Positive. My CRP level is slightly above normal but that is expected given I have a chronic inflammatory condition. The rest of my blood work was normal.

The humidity has gone up again. I can’t stand being in the kitchen. I was sweating so much. My sister offered me a burger and I accepted. I am going to have that for dinner. I need the protein. I have decided that I am going to empty my bladder every three hours, more if needed. I hate the pain it is causing me to be semi full and the pain gets worse when I am full. I also need to measure my urine to see how much I am outputting.

I am completely exhausted. Going to have my burger and then relax with the game. I wish I could have a beer or a shot of whiskey but I am on opioids so I can’t drink. Plus the antibiotic I am on reacts badly to alcohol. Sucks.

Sunday Blog 29082021

I lost my blog streak yesterday when I didn’t post my Saturday blog. I thought I did before logging off when the Sox won but I realized this morning I didn’t. 87 straight days gone. Oh well. I am a little disappointed in myself but at least I wrote something.

I have felt like shit all day. The abdomen pain has been non-stop. It started this morning when I had a full bladder and bowels. I ended up crapping myself so it wasn’t a good morning. I wasn’t in the mood for my coffee. I drank like a quarter of it before I stopped drinking it. I was just so damn tired and in pain. I slept most of the afternoon but it wasn’t a good sleep because the roofers next door were making so much noise. They are still working on the roof. Been three days. WTF.

Today started off cool but now is muggy again. I just turned the AC back on. It is humid in my room. I did my meds for the week. One of the compartments for my morning meds had a melted pill. I never noticed it till now so I cleaned it before I put pills in it.

I am seeing the surgeon tomorrow morning. I plan on taking an Uber there. I am going to ask her to order a urine test as I think I have an infection. I am not sure if the broad spectrum she had me on took care of it or not. It would just ease my mind to know that I didn’t infect myself because of the vaginal discharge, which I still have. I thought it was going away but there was more this afternoon when I cathed. I don’t know if I am going to keep my therapy appointment this week. Sitting hurts too much right now and I feel so shitty. I will make the decision tomorrow after I meet with the surgeon.