Category: depression

1^st of October 2021

It is finally a cold day. The house is really cold and I love it. I have socks on my feet so my feet can try and stay warm. My CRPS foot is currently cold even though I have socks on and it is under blankets. One of my meds is ready at the pharmacy. The other won’t be ready until Mon when the stock comes in. I haven’t been in the mood to leave the house. I’ve been really irritable because my abdomen still hurts. I finally had a decent movement followed by runs and gas. I feel a little bit better. My bladder still hurts because of the pushing I was doing. I got in touch with my nurse and they want a urine sample. I was going to go but I took a dose of Miralax this morning and didn’t want to chance getting colon blow outside the house. My mother has been annoying me all day with noises. I think I am getting overstimulated because of the pain I have been in. I feel like a deflated tire now. I feel better than I did before but I am still achy from all the pressure.

Monday I have an eye appointment for my annual exam. I plan on leaving early so I can go to the lab to drop off a urine specimen. Hopefully the lab won’t be too busy in the morning. I have an appointment with my therapist in the afternoon so I can’t wait too long after the eye exam.

I am so drained. I haven’t been feeling well since last night when the abdominal pain got really bad. What made this so awful was that I couldn’t fart at all. It took all I had just to move my bowels and it hurt. I don’t know if all the shit is out of me. I haven’t gone again in an hour so I think I am good. The pain has lessened. Now just my bladder hurts. I just emptied it but it still hurts.

I have no idea what I am going to do this weekend. Sox have three games left with the Nats. I am not sure how we will do. It is win or go home right now. They lost last night and it was very disappointing. My cousin was texting me all night like I wasn’t listening to the game. He drove me nuts. I can’t believe baseball season is almost over.

I feel depressed. My doc increased the Pristiq. It has been a week that I am on the higher dose. I don’t feel any different. I just been feeling tired and a little more anxious about things. Also more likely to become irritable about things. I couldn’t believe how much sound was affecting me today. Last night I was late in taking my night meds so I was up late. It took a while for me to settle down after the last out of the game. I am going to take them earlier tonight so I am not up so late.

Randomness

I woke up twice during the night to pee. My med alarm went off at 830 and I just shut it off. I laid there for a couple of hours. I was awake but I just didn’t want to get up. I finally did when I had to pee again and it was causing me horrible pain. I have been constipated all week and my bowels don’t feel well. I went today but my bowels still feel off. I need to take some more Miralax.

My uro got back to me yesterday afternoon. She wants to study my bladder again. I said ok. I am waiting for her medical assistant to call me to schedule testing. If I don’t hear from her in a week, I will call the office and make an appointment. I am still having trouble going. I can either cath or void but if I void, I have to cath afterwards because I haven’t been emptying my bladder. There has been a lot of urine left. So far today, there hasn’t been that much but I still need to empty it. I haven’t been drinking too much, or eating. I am hungry but I don’t know what to eat. I am thinking of making eggs. My mother is making boiled radishes. I haven’t had radishes in a long time.

Yesterday I went to the hospital for a blood draw for a research study. The building was far away from the entrance. It is the furthest building as it is on the other side of the hospital. I had to sit and rest half way there as I got tired.

My back went out after I had my coffee and was washing out my mug. It took some IB and some pain meds to calm it down enough so I could shave and shower. I felt better after the shower. My leg is hurting me right now. The weather is much colder than it has been. I think because the temps dropped so much I am hurting. Happens every time there is a huge change. I love the cold weather though. I will take it over a hot day any day and twice on Sunday. I have been taking things slow as I don’t want my back to flare up again. I thought my pain meds would be ready for pick up today but there is some kind of delay. Figures.

Sox won yesterday, finally. I was asleep most of the game as I was really tired after walking all around the hospital yesterday. There are only four more games left in the season and the wild card is still in doubt. All depends if we win the next few games. I will be hugely disappointed if they don’t make playoffs.

I haven’t gone back to reading “Medical Apartheid” yet. I plan on finishing the chapter once I make myself something to eat. It is a very interesting book but a tough read given the content. I hope the book goes into some detail about the Tuskagee Syphilis study. I am curious to know what exactly went on there.