Tag: coffee

Sox Win Game 3

by Midnight Demon, posted in baseball, Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Sox win game 3

Another nail biter. My favorite (okay one of my favorites) hit a grand salami that sent Houston fans to the exits. Sox won 8-2. A grand salami is a grand slam which is when the bases are loaded and the batter hits a home run scoring 4 runs (those on the bases and himself). I love this game. It was hit by Jackie Bradley Jr. who has struggled at bat more times than I can count but has come up big when he is hot, and he has been. I always say “take that haters” because a lot of fans and others didn’t want him on the team, especially when they were looking for good hitters but he is an invaluable center fielder and saved more runs than anyone I know. He is an all around good guy and I hate the hate people give him because he isn’t a power hitter.

My foot has been hurting me throughout the game. I went out today. I gave my barbers some of the pumpkin cake I made. Then I did some shopping. I meant to buy burgers but forgot! I also forgot my food stamp card so I had to pay for my food. UGH I didn’t want to do that. I bought most of the ingredients I needed for at least two recipes. Now I just need time to make it, which most likely will be Saturday. I also will be placing my grocery order Friday. I knocked some stuff off as it was approaching almost $200. I went nuts buying stuff. I hate being on my phone when I can’t sleep because I go mad on the shopping carts. But I don’t buy them. They just stay in the cart until I have a clearer head. Not so much with Amazon. I bought two albums last night. I think it was two. No it was one album and a book by Neil Gaiman. I almost went nuts with books by Neil but I restrained myself. I don’t know how, but I did. I still want to buy David Nail’s new album. I might buy that tonight to listen to. Last night I bought Tim and Faith’s album. I can’t believe it came out but there was nothing about it coming out. UGH. I follow Tim and Faith on social media but it might be that there wasn’t a big review on it or something and it got buried with all the shit the Orange buffoon does. I muted a lot of political shit I was following because it was just stressing me out. I tweeted to vote blue and some guy asked why. I wanted to ask him has he been awake the last 18 months or so? Like seriously. UGH people are trolls. If he was not from the states I can understand but most that ask stupid questions often are trolls and I’ve learned, as hard as it is, not to respond. They go away and you don’t ever hear from them again.

I put ice on my right foot because it was bothering me. I accidently put it up against my left to hold the pack there and when I realized that wasn’t smart, I put a shirt in between my feet. UGH. I got my new therapist appointment tomorrow. I am kind of nervous about it. I hope it isn’t for nothing but when I think of the hassle of getting there weekly, I kind of hope that it doesn’t work out. If he is a good guy and he is willing to help me with real shit not just listening to me, then I can deal and it will be worth the hassle. If it does, I’ve decided to just email my therapist I see now and end things. I don’t think he will care either way. I missed three appointments with him and he hasn’t asked why or how I am doing or anything so fuck him for me coming in and saying we are done. No point in paying him for another session.

I have shot 2 tomorrow. I might write two posts tomorrow. One will be about my transition and the other just my general daily post. I might combine them. I don’t know yet. Maybe not as I want to write about how the appointment with the therapist went and the transition one. I have everything set for tomorrow. I know there is enough for three shots but probably not 4. I got to get one of the biohazard things for the needles. They sell them at Walgreens for like $7.50. I have no idea the cost to send them to dispose of them.

I haven’t seen my roommate. I think I am going to get the stuff on Amazon as I don’t think Walgreens sells the stuff I need. I will get the peanut butter from the grocery store. They love peanut butter. Damn rascals ate my powerbars that had peanut butter in it the last time we had mice. I know he is still in my room because I hear him. Things are moving and rustling.

I got a text from my mail order prescription. I sent them an email saying I didn’t get one of my blood pressure pills. I looked every where for it and couldn’t find it. I sent the damn thing and then fucking found the bottle under some bags on my bed. Fucker. So they are sending me more pills. Lovely. I am stocked for 180 days. Whoohoo. Ugh. I tried to stop it but it has already been shipped out. That will save me when I have to pay for my meds again in January. I am glad I called because the number I had was wrong. It was some federal number. Weird. My insurance is going to go up next year. I have no idea how much. Last year it was $26. But I need it for my prescriptions and dental. I need to make an appointment for my dentist. One tooth is bothering me. I am sure it is the one that the dentist didn’t want to drill. He just gave me a toothpaste to use at night but he doesn’t understand chronic pain life. He is lucky I brush my teeth once a day. It is very rare I brush twice a day. But I take my meds with Powerade so I don’t gag. I can’t take it with water. I have tried. The pills melt faster and if I can’t swallow in one go, forget it. I am throwing them up. So Powerade it is. I know it probably isn’t the best choice but it works for me. Also water in the morning makes me sick. I can have it any other time of day but cannot take it until after I have woken up and eaten or drank something like coffee. I bought two things of coffee today. Pike and Guatemala. I haven’t tried the Guatemala one so no idea if I will like it. It is medium roast, which is what I like. I will try it Thursday.

Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Clean water, doctors, and of course, chronic pain

Sox lost last night so that is the “clean water” part of this blog. They were losing 3-2 in the 7th inning when sleepiness overcame me and I had to lay down. I woke up this morning to find out they lost 7-2 so I am glad I didn’t stay up to hear the rest of the game. I was so fucking annoyed with the ump. Our manager got ejected in the like the second inning arguing the strike call that was clearly a ball to everyone but the fucking ump. I was so pissed at that because it happened between innings so no one saw the ejection, just him walking into the clubhouse. Then my friend’s husband texted me during the 1st inning. He had called me but I wasn’t in the mood to talk, to anyone. I just let it go to voicemail. I texted him at 6, two hours before the game. He didn’t want to talk then. Just during the game. Ugh!

Here is an article about the “red flags” on doctors and when you should see another one

16 ‘Red Flags’ That Might Mean It’s Time to Find a New Doctor

I usually don’t share or read Mighty.com articles because they gloss over the seriousness of illnesses, especially about the mental illness they write about. It just pisses me off because to me, it isn’t really how things are in the world. But this one is pretty good. It mostly talks about psychiatrists but also a few specialists and primary care providers. I have seen them all and usually don’t go back if they don’t hear me because, why bother?

I woke up with my left hip hurting me today. I have no idea why. I might be sleeping wrong or something. I sleep on my side and usually with a pillow between my legs. The pillow is not that thick but maybe I am not turned over that much to align my body? I don’t know. I just know the muscles are angry and I don’t know what to do about it. I might put heat on it to see if that relaxes them down. I don’t want to do my exercises for my left leg as my hip is so damn sore right now. Usually it goes away with movement but not today. My mother has no sympathy, of course, because her “whole body hurts”. I often wonder if she has fibromyalgia. But I also know that if she did, she would refuse the diagnosis and just say it is old age.

I am going to have my pumpkin poke cake today. I wanted to have my coffee first. I needed coffee. I made the cake yesterday. I am kind of disappointed that the condensed milk was so thick it wouldn’t get out of the can and then wouldn’t soak through the cake. I had to spread it into the holes I made. Then I put the cool whip on top. I was hoping to have a slice around game time but I got lazy and didn’t go back downstairs. I hope it came out good.

I have a roommate. There is a mouse living in my room. It is a little field mouse and it is cute. I got scared at first but then it just stayed there and as I stared at it, I didn’t get scared. He was under my bed for a while. I had taken a nap and woke up to some papers rustling. Had no idea where the noise was coming from. I sat up and poof, ran out from under the bed. Then he ran back under. Around game time, he shot out and was poking around my plastic slippers. I looked to see what he was doing and then he got scared and ran toward the window side of my room. I haven’t seen him since. I got to get some stuff so he goes away. That would explain the noises I have been hearing in my room. I just hope there isn’t a dead one somewhere. I had a smell in my room a few weeks ago, maybe a month now. Have no idea how the little guy came into my room. I am nearly on the 3rd floor of the house so not from the ground. Hope there aren’t more of his friends in the house. My mother and sister will freak out. I know my mother will because she will have to call the exterminator again. We fixed the foundation crack and stuff so I don’t know. Those buggers find a way in. Thing is, we have feral cats near and living on my sister’s porch. They are fired now! HAHA.

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!!

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Sox are ALDS Champs!!!!

OMG last night was a nail biter of a game. The ninth inning, I was chatting with two friends about it and then it turned almost into a disaster. I didn’t want them text/messaging me. I just wanted to focus because I wasn’t watching, I was listening to the radio. Typing and listening can be difficult. Kimbrel was almost struck in the head as he came out of the bullpen by a fucking Yankee fan with a can of beer. I am sure that rattled his nerves some and it showed. He loaded the bases and couldn’t get an out. He got one out, then a run scored. Then he walked a run. The score was 4-3 at this point and he needed one more out. I was at the point where I wasn’t going to have nails anymore. Ready to get the clipper out and just hack away (I don’t bite my nails as that is gross). I do pick at my cuticles, which is probably worse, but hey, this is a playoff game. He finally got the final out with a ground ball, which was reviewed and the call standed. Game over! Red Sox win!! I went crazy! I was so damn happy. I changed my wallpaper to the Sox instead of just black.

I couldn’t sleep as the tension was too much. Pain was there but not so great as it was the other night. Between 12-1230 am I thought someone set off firecrackers. Found out today that it was gun shots. No one knows who did it or where or if someone was shot. It was at the end of my street. My sister told me the police was going to our yard to look for casings. Just wonderful!!

I didn’t go to sleep till around 0330, again! I didn’t put the do not disturb on as I didn’t have anything to do today. I canceled therapy. I was going to call some therapists but I haven’t brought myself up to actually do it. The alarm went off and I took my meds and then went back to sleep for a couple of hours. I hear my doorbell ring but I thought my mother was home, not that she could go down the stairs but if she needed me to, I was there. I didn’t hear her call me and she didn’t call my phone so I just lay there. Then my sister called me and told me what happened. She called again asking me to bring her packages inside. I opened the door and there were four boxes on the porch. WTF. Two were for her and two were for my mother. I didn’t carry my mother’s up. They were light but I was just lazy. I needed coffee and something to eat.

I ended up eating the last of the chocolate cake with my coffee. I showered afterwards. My mother must have gone to a doctor’s appointment because the showerhead was on top not in the holder on the side (we have the flexible showerhead). She doesn’t like it but tough shit. She said she got water everywhere. I asked if she had the curtain covering the sides of the shower and the curtain inside. She said no. Well, there you go. She had also turned it to the side so no wonder the water leaked out. I know the shower flex thing we have is not going to last. She is going to find another showerhead and use that. But it has to be $20 or less because that is what it should be (SMH). I just hope she doesn’t put the damn basket she has back in the shower seat because I like actually sitting down while I need to shower. She just doesn’t get it that I am disabled, too. Though she will never think of herself as disabled. Pisses me off. I will take the damn basket and throw it away. I don’t care some of it is my stuff. I don’t want it on the seat.

Today is day 4 that I have been off female hormones. I haven’t shown signs of bleeding and I hope that I don’t. I think it will be a few more days before I know I am out of the woods or maybe a week. I hope that with my shot next week will boost up the T and decrease my stupid female stuff. I really don’t want my menses. They suck.

Loving Do Not Disturb Function

by Midnight Demon, posted in Bipolar Disorder, blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Loving Do Not Disturb function

I was up late, most from the exciting win of the Sox and then pain being stupid. I have no idea what time I fell asleep. I know it was after 0330. I had decided to put the Do Not Disturb on my phone as I didn’t want the med alarm to wake me up. I couldn’t fudge the time because it was too early in the morning and the app only allows you to adjust the time within an hour of it going off. So when I woke up at noon, it was too late to take my meds.

I wanted to make my pumpkin cake but it was humid and I didn’t want to turn on the oven. I had to go food shopping for my mother at a grocery store I don’t normally shop at. That meant taking a few buses to get there. I had some coffee and then realized I could take the other bus rather than the bus that goes to the Square. But when I figured this out, the bus was coming in like 7 minutes and I didn’t want to rush. I left around 1330 and didn’t get home till 1630. I had to stop at the pharmacy to get my meds that weren’t in yesterday.

My pain was okay today. I’ve just been taking the breakthrough med when I need it. It didn’t help that I rolled over a toe on my foot with the bag I was using when I got in the house. I didn’t bruise it, or at least the bruise hasn’t shown up yet. I hope it doesn’t. I had to have something to eat as I was starving. I fixed up a chicken sandwich and then had a piece of the chocolate cake I made the other day. It was still moist. It came out pretty good. I guess Betty Crocker is better than Duncan Hines. I never noticed a difference before.

Game 4 of the ALDS is tonight, in about 1.5 hours from now. I am nervous because Porcello is pitching and he can either be hit or miss. Holt isn’t playing tonight but I found out that is because he does really bad against the Skankee pitcher. I feel better knowing this because he had such a hot night last night. I just hope the Sox can have some hits and runs tonight like they did last night. I really don’t want them coming back to Boston to play another game. I want this to end with tonight’s game! Just to rub it in their face in the Bronx. But if it goes to game 5, it goes to game 5.