Tag: shoulder pain

Saturday Blog 30102021

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Saturday Blog 30102021

I started a blog yesterday afternoon when inspiration hit and unfortunately, my emotions shut it down. I still can’t go back to it yet so I sent it to my therapist and maybe I can finish writing it. I think it is an important thing for me to write about but the emotions surrounding it are powerful.

I woke up around 2 last night in pain. I emptied my bladder because it had been close to seven hours since I last did it. I tried going back to sleep but I was too woken up. I stayed up for a few hours and then finally went back to sleep. I don’t remember my med alarm going off but I must have shut it off. I didn’t stir but just went back to sleep. I hear notifications go off on my phone but I just ignored them. Then my mother called me at 1pm and I reluctantly got up. She needed to get a few things at Amazon so after I had a bowl of cereal and made my coffee, I searched the things she needed. Now I feel ready to go back to sleep.

I made an appointment with my barber for Tues. My royalties for this month were more than I was expecting, which was good because it pushed my account to where I have the twenty bucks for my hair. I think I am going to go to a three when I see him. I rather him do it than me try it. I need to shave today. I also need to pick up my meds. It’s raining out. I was hoping they would be ready in the morning but they just got done now. I’ll pick it up tomorrow. I don’t need it until then anyways.

I have no idea what I am going to eat today. I might order Chipotle. I have added corn salsa to my burrito bowl and it is so damn good. But I am not hungry right now so I don’t want to order it. Yesterday I ordered a cheese pizza because I was craving it. It was pretty good. I might order it again. Or I will just have cereal, my inexpensive go to when I don’t feel like having nothing else.

I have a sort of busy week next week. Monday I have therapy and then Tues I am seeing my pcp, getting my blood drawn for a study, and then getting my haircut on the way home. I am going to be wiped out. The following week is going to be busier with MTW appointments that are all in person except my therapist appointment. I am going to be exhausted. I am exhausted just thinking about navigating around the hospital for Tuesday’s appointment. The place I got to have my blood drawn is at the complete end of the entrance, the furthest building on campus. And the only way to get there is through the main entrance as the other doors are closed due to covid. A lot of fucking walking for ten bucks.

pain pain pain

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Pain pain pain

All week I have been in pain, either my shoulder or my lower back. I am waiting for a call for an urgent care center to make an appointment so I can have my back looked at. I keep on getting spasms and it makes me immobile. I have been putting heat on as well as taking Ativan, Zanaflex, and my BT meds. I haven’t been sleeping because my shoulder has been waking me up in pain. I feel really depressed and last night was the worst night as I thought about suicide and came up with a plan. I just realized that I haven’t had the urge to pee the last few days. I just been cathing because it is what I do but I haven’t had an urge to pee. I hope this doesn’t mean something is wrong with my back. I just had an MRI about two months ago and things looked good. I got an appointment for this afternoon and I hope they don’t send me to the ED for MRI testing.

The pain I have in my back is severe. I still got spasms in it and think I just need PT to work out the knots. Maybe some dry needling is all I need for it, provided a disc didn’t shift and I need to see my neurosurgeon again. I took my breakthrough med and ibuprofen and that seems to have eased some of the pain I was feeling. Just hope I can get dressed and walk to the bus stop without too much pain. I am going to the hospital in case I do need to switch to the emergency room.

My left side of my body really hurts. The shoulder MRI report came back. It looks like I have two fractures in my shoulder caused by the dislocation I took when I fell. The urgent care doc that I saw said that it is really important that I keep my appointment with ortho on Monday for further treatment of my shoulder. I hope that doesn’t mean surgery.

I just came home from Urgent care. I was there for almost two hours, most of the time just waiting to be seen. I told him what the story was and he said I was on a good regimen and to continue taking what I have been taking. Then I asked him about dry needling and PT and he sent a referral for it. So now I am going to have dry needling on my lower back. I can already feel the pain. It is hot in my room so I turned on the AC. I haven’t changed into my PJ’s yet. I want to cool down first. I had a snickers bar and Reese’s peanut butter big cup with pretzels for dinner. I don’t feel like having anything else, unless I get hungry later then it will be a bowl of cereal.

My shoulder is aching but my back pain is worse right now. I am so tired. I think I am going to take my night meds early and try and be in bed before 9pm. Sox are off tonight. I finally mailed my ballot today so I feel good about that. It has been in my room all week. I am glad I didn’t go to the ED tonight. I nearly fell asleep while I was waiting to be seen in urgent care. Chronic pain just takes so much out of you. Not sleeping at night also takes its toll. I woke up three times last night with my shoulder hurting me. I guess the pain will stop when the fractures heal in another 6-8 weeks.

Sunday blog 17102021

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, cauda equina syndrome, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders, painsomnia

I’ve been up since 4 this morning. Woke up to pee and couldn’t go back to sleep. So I stayed up. Shoulder was hurting really bad so I took some meds. It has been bothering me all day. Like an idiot I’ve been using my arm so that hasn’t helped. I need to keep it moving though so it doesn’t get stiff.

I somewhat plan on showering today. Back has been bothering me past few days. I keep getting spasms in my left hip. Not sure if it is related to the fall I took. I haven’t brushed my teeth yet. Been in a grumpy sort of mood. While I was making my coffee, shoulder pain was really bad and I thought about suicide again. Then a friend sent me a meme saying she was glad I existed and I almost cried. I was overcome with emotion. I was so grateful she sent that to me.

While I was up early, I ordered groceries because I am almost out of my favorite coffee blend. I should have ordered milk and half and half but I didn’t think of it. I bought a lot of cereal. I’ve been eating a lot of cereal lately because I just don’t feel like cooking. My mother made chicken cacciatore yesterday so I might have some of that for dinner tonight. It is really good.

I’ve been trying to hydrate today so that my veins will be good tomorrow should they need to place an IV for my CT scan. I don’t want to get stuck multiple times. I hope to have the report by mid week so I can have an idea what is going on with my shoulder. Just hope I don’t need surgery.

I haven’t napped at all today. It is late now so I probably will just go to bed early. I still need to do my med boxes for the week. I keep procrastinating.

another painful depressing day

by Midnight Demon, posted in blogging, Chronic pain, chronic physical pain, CRPS, depression, mood disorders

Another painful depressing day

I was in a lot of pain today with my shoulder. I didn’t want to do anything and so didn’t. I slept until around 11 and had coffee. I didn’t have anything to eat until a couple of hours later. The ortho department called me with an appointment so I have that at the end of the month. I also called my pcp office to see if I could increase my pain meds as I have so much pain. I haven’t heard back.

I had my dinner of Oreo cookies. I didn’t want anything else. I needed to shower and shave today but never got around to do it. I’ve been depressed most of the day. I wanted to go pick up my meds at the pharmacy. It was such a nice day today but I never left the house. Pain was a huge factor in keeping me in. I seriously gave some thought to suicide today but didn’t dwell on it.

My therapist got back to me this morning. I had to reschedule our appointment for next week as I have the CT scan a little close to our time. I am glad she got back to me. I let most of my friends know about my fractured shoulder. I just looked up the doctor I will be seeing. The bright side is he is chief of the department. Downside is he specializes in leg injuries. I don’t want the run around while I am in pain. I dealt with that while trying to find a diagnosis for my CRPS ankle and I won’t do that for my shoulder ever again. I don’t want something like CRPS to go to my shoulder. But I don’t know how common these ortho terms are and if seeing the chief will be a good idea. He would know who specializes in shoulders in his dept so I could get referred to that doctor. I know that I will need an MRI as I don’t think the CT scan is going to show the depth of the labrum. I could have a tear there that is causing me this pain. But without knowing what is causing the dislocation, I am stumped.

In the meantime I just hope to have adequate pain control. Hope my pcp gets back to me tomorrow.