Tag: disability
strip it down
Strip it down
I’m listening to Luke Bryan and this is the song that is currently playing. I couldn’t come up with a title so thought I would use the name of the song. Corny, but it works.
I went food shopping today. I didn’t get much as I didn’t have that much money on me. I just bought the bare essentials until next week when I get paid. We were out of juice and that was the important thing. Always need juice in case my mother’s sugar goes down. I got a little of this and that. Then caught the bus to the square to get an espresso. I also treated myself to a cranberry bliss bar. Those are so good. I haven’t had one in a couple years. They only come out during Christmas season. I then hurried to catch the bus home.
I wrote a pitch for my second book and submitted it to a mental health press. It will be a few weeks before I know if they will print it. I had no idea if what I did was right as I never submitted a pitch before. I was really tired after writing it up. I went to nap and then my mother called just as I was ready to drift off to sleep. I was robbed of a nap. I didn’t want to get up. I wasn’t that hungry but I went downstairs. My mother made pasta for me as I wanted some. She made asparagus and eggs. I had a little of it while the pasta was cooking. She made it really al dente. I am not a fan of al dente. I ate it and now I am super full.
It has been snowing on and off today but now it’s snowing pretty steady. It’s supposed to snow till Christmas morning. Don’t know if that will happen. We haven’t had a white Christmas in years. It would be nice.
tough news
Tough news
I woke up with my med alarm going off. I had set it so that I could be better at taking my morning blood pressure pills. My ankle kind of hurt so I thought it was going to be okay to stand up and go to the bathroom. NOT. Standing up brought a lot of pain and I knew the day was going to be shot. I gingerly went downstairs with the cane as I didn’t have time to put on the boot. My bladder said now and it meant it. As I was moving about, the pain kind of got better but didn’t go away. I wasn’t going to chance flaring it up while making cookies so that will be tomorrow’s quest.
I went back up to my room and then my bowels needed to be emptied. Seriously? Seriously. I went back downstairs and did my business. I had emailed my psych because my chin was twitching and I didn’t know if it was a side effect of the Invega. She said it could be like the eyelid twitching as she didn’t think it was due to the Invega. I was relieved. It is still weird to have the twitching though. Might be pain related as I really clenched my muscles when I had the cramp at PT to stop crying.
My mother had a visiting nurse come. She has had PT and RNs come to the house the last few weeks because she is having a hard time getting around. I waited for the nurse to leave before I went back downstairs to make some breakfast. I told my mother I really would like mac and cheese the way she makes it for dinner. It is basically elbows and American cheese melted on top. It is quick and easy and I love it.
Around 1230 or so, I get a response from my PCP. It wasn’t good news. He is a fink. He said that he was skeptical about playing around with my pain meds. But a longer acting pain sound okay for me. But he wanted me to be seen by a pain doc. I was fuming so hard I started crying. I responded that why couldn’t he tell me this 2 months ago and now I will have to wait at last another month or two for the appt. That is like 4 months I have/will suffer. Thanks doc. Do you sign death certificates the way you handle chronic pain patients?? (or something like that). I cried for an hour. I still am crying though not as bad. I told my mother to cancel my birthday party. I didn’t want to see anyone, not even my family.
Then some other PT or nurse came and I had to go downstairs with my face a mess. Great. I had to open the door for her because my mother couldn’t make the stairs. I let her in and then got some salami from my sister’s house to make a sandwich for lunch. I came back to my room, figuring I would make the sandwich after the PT or whoever she was left except I finally managed to nap. I slept okay. My bladder woke me up and my sister was calling me. She wanted to know why I canceled my party. I told her I didn’t want to see anyone or do anything. She asked if she wanted to go for lunch or something and I said no.
My mother had left me a message as I was drifting off to sleep. I asked her what she wanted and she wanted to know why I was crying. I told her I didn’t want to talk about it as I just stopped crying and didn’t want to start again. I am crying as I am typing this because I am still upset my PCP is a fink. I just can’t believe he couldn’t tell me this two months ago. I could have made an appt and had meds I needed by now. The fink also said that trying the Vimpat for at least two weeks might help me. WTF seriously??!! There is no data to support that. I will only be on 50 mg for a week before increasing it to 100 mg, taking 50 mg twice a day. I wanted to put the med alarm in place so that I could take my meds twice a day as I usually sleep too late, especially when I have difficult nights falling asleep due to pain. I have no idea how I am going to react to this med and I hope that it is favorable.
The fink wants ME to call the pain clinic for an appt. I will have to look up the number as I’ve never been a patient there, I don’t think. If I was, it was before I developed CRPS. I fucking hate that I have to see another doctor and explain the whole story. And hope that he or she won’t turn me away when I tell them I don’t want injections of any kind. Only think I will be open to would be ketamine infusions. I really hope that when I have to refill my pain meds for next month, the fink allows it. Otherwise there is going to be problems.
Pain too much today
Pain too much today
I woke up around 8. According to my phone (I have no idea how it knows when I sleep), I slept 9.5 hours. I went to the bathroom and then came back to my room. I was going to make cookies today. Around 0840, my mother calls me to go to her room. I do and she is kind of slurring her words, which can only mean trouble. She said she felt weak and to get her blood sugar testing supplies. I also got her some juice. Her sugar was 70, which is kind of low but not really low. She drank the juice. I think she might have been lower but her body recovered because her sheets and bed clothes were wet. She wanted me to take them off so she could wash them. I did so and brought them downstairs. I asked her if she needed any help going down and she didn’t. I went down carrying her water glass and testing supplies.
When she came down, I asked what she wanted for breakfast. She said an egg McMuffin. I made if for her and then took out my oatmeal I made. I wanted an egg McMuffin but I had the oatmeal. I might make if for dinner. Her sugar went up to over 150 after breakfast. I stayed until I knew she was okay. All the going up and down stairs killed my ankle. I rested for a bit and then checked to see if my prescription was ready for pick up. It was still listed as out of stock so I called. The tech I was friends with said the stock just came in and by the time I got there, it would be ready. Cool. Except, I really didn’t feel like going out. I waited a little bit and then got dressed. I wore some sweatpants as I didn’t feel like wearing jeans. I then went downstairs and checked on my mother. I asked her if she would be okay for like 20 minutes while I went to the pharmacy. She said she would be. I grabbed a coupon for White Castle burgers and left. It was warm so I didn’t wear a jacket. I grabbed the burgers from the freezer. They also had buffalo wings so I grabbed a box of that. I got my meds and sure enough the new med is a controlled substance because it needed my ID. I thought that was weird but whatever. By the time I came home, it was almost noon time, too late to take a dose. I put the oven on for the wings. I had bought a Coke Zero, which I thought was regular but turned out to be cherry. I like cherry coke better than Pepsi. It tasted okay.
By the time I got back to my room, my ankle had started to act up and my foot was beyond painful. I got back into my PJs as the sweatpants were too warm. I figured I would give some time for my pain to settle before making the cookies. Nope, it never settled. I then I had to go back downstairs because I had to pee. I put the cream cheese back in the fridge and covered the cinnamon sugar I made in prep for baking. I had some craving for pancakes but I didn’t want to tax my ankle more than it was already. I was still a little hungry after I ate the wings. I made the burgers instead. It was quicker and easier than pancakes. I asked what my mother was doing for dinner and she said leftovers. Guess I will be making the egg McMuffin after all. My ankle is still hurting. I am off it now as I am writing this, but CRPS doesn’t care. Pain will still happen. I took a strong pain pill as I just couldn’t stand the ankle flare anymore. According to my phone, I have already taken more than 2100 steps. I am taking it with a grain of salt as I found out that shaking the phone will add at least 30-40 steps. Going up and down stairs probably added 1000 steps I didn’t really take.
I got an email letter from my PCP. To my surprise, results from the sleep study are back. I have very mild sleep apnea, which can be treated by losing weight. It was noted in the report that I woke up a few times due to pain, which is what I have been telling him all along. He didn’t say anything about putting me on a longer acting pain med, so I sent him a message. It’s kind of late so I probably won’t get a response until tomorrow or Thursday. I know I need to lose weight but I got bigger fish to fry. I just wish the damn combo of Invega and gabapentin didn’t send my appetite through the roof. Being immobile on some days doesn’t help either as there are days I don’t leave the house, mostly due to pain.
midnightdemons7 
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