Tag: schizoaffective disorder

psychological pain: real or not?

by Midnight Demon, posted in Chronic pain, depression, psychache, suicide

I did some Google research on psychological pain. I got over 34 million hits on those terms alone and had to narrow it. I really miss having access to PsychLit, a search engine tool for psych papers and other related mental health professions. So I put the psych pain in quotations to narrow the search. I narrowed it down to 444,000. Yikes. How was I going to get through that many? I decided to go through the first three pages of results. I found what I was looking for and did another search for that. Sometimes you can get lucky and get a free PDF of the research article. I wasn’t lucky this time. I did pay $20 USD for to “look” at the research article. What I found was another psychological pain scale that has been in use for the past six years. I don’t know how I missed this article in my previous searches, but then I have been following ONLY the works and “followers” of Dr. Shniedman.

From what I have read about this article, this is a quantitative research measure for psychological pain. Unlike Jobes’s SSF (Suicide Status Form), which measures multiple psychological pain issues and is a qualitative form, it does not measure anything related to suicidal thinking. This is disappointing. Most of the measures have been for major depression, whereas the research for the SSF has been across all psychiatric disorders.

OMG I just read one of the results that Tylenol would help psychological pain. WTF, ARE YOU SERIOUS??? No wonder there is so much liver failure in this country. But then most people don’t think that this pain is real and only physical pain can be felt. I think this is bogus because I have suffered from psychic pain for a great many years and I can say that it is just as real as any physical pain that I have ever felt. It might not be the same as say the pain from a broken limb but a broken heart hurts just as bad.

In this article that asks is there such a thing as psychological pain? And why it matters. I found this article interesting as he was comparing the pain and grief of losing a child to cancer can be just as painful as a kidney stone.

 

 

References

Biro, David. Is There such a thing as psychological pain? And Why it matters. Culture, Medicine, and Psychiatry 2010.(34).4.658-667

Mee S, Bunney BG, Bunney WE, Hetrick W, Potkin SG, Reist C. Assessment of psychological pain in major depressive episodes. J Psychiatr Res. 2011 Nov;45(11):1504-10. Epub 2011 Aug 9.

A Thank You and a Recipe

by Midnight Demon, posted in suicide attempt

I made my chicken wings tonight. They came out so good. The recipe is simple, a bottle of Catalina salad dressing, jar of smuckers apricot preserves, and a packet of Lipton’s dry onion soup. Mix together on low heat. Cook the chicken at 350 degree oven for an hour and a half, covered. Then pour the sauce mixture on it for another hour and half and broil for the last 15 mins. They are delectable. I make them for special occasion but today I wanted something good.

I just wrote a goodbye letter to my ex who is finally my ex-ex. I have wrestled with what I would tell her. So decided to just write a long run off sentence or two about everything that was wrong with the relationship. I couldn’t come up with anything that was right. I have been there done that and this time it was finally over. It hurts like hell, but I am better off without her.

I also worked on my comparison paper and now I can say that it finally looks like a paper. Tomorrow I will wrestle with the printer or maybe I will just print it off so I can read it and proof it. I still have lots to do with it, such as the comparison part!!

Today I also started a page for Facebook for this blog. www.facebook.com/midnightdemons  I am excited about this as I can now be truly anonymous with my posting online. It took some figuring out but I was finally able to do it. I am not a web designer so it was kind of tricky to figure out. I hope that I am able to get more viewers this way and hopefully save a life with what I write on here. That is my only goal with this blog and I truly have some wonderful fans out there that read. So Thank You so much for supporting me

about suicide

by Midnight Demon, posted in depression, mental disorders, mental illness, mood disorders, psychosis, suicide, suicide attempt

I had worked on Ramblings 15 today but have decided not to publish it because it is a rant more than anything. I have not been in a happy mood the past few days. Not that I am a happy person to start with, just that I have not been able to sleep at all the past week. It is driving me crazy. I sleep every few hours. It sucks. Last night I finally was able to get at least 5 hrs straight but I still am not in a good mood. I am not suicidal just crazy with sleep deprivation.

I did part of my Christmas shopping today. Now I am worried that I won’t have money to get my license renewed. I still have to pay off one more citation before I can get it renewed. Stupid laws in my state forbid any parking tickets or citations not being paid before renewal. I have to go into town sometime next week to pay off my last one. It’s not a huge pain in the butt but it kind of is. I am not sure if this place allows money order or cash. Some places don’t allow personal checks because they don’t want to deal with them bouncing.

The Savage God: book that I am reading, slowly, about the history of suicide. I find it very disturbing at times and have to read it in increments. It is a good book, just when you feel suicidal it kind of revs you up while you are reading it because you know exactly what the author is writing about.

Speaking of suicides, I recently read an article ( http://www.mcclatchydc.com/2012/11/27/175710/in-suicide-epidemic-military-wrestles.html ) that a friend of mine posted about how the military is now dealing with the problem. Court Martials and prosecution. Just what the mentally ill needs. I find it abhorrent as the suicide prevention has been set back by 150 years. Just when you think our military has been through enough, they can’t even try and take their own life without consequences. The message is, to me, do it right and die an honorable death. Fail and face prosecution. It is sickening. I don’t think it is going to help the rise of suicides post military service and I don’t think it is going to help those who work in suicide prevention and those that are trying to reach out for help.

Golf ball post

by Midnight Demon, posted in cauda equina syndrome, CES, Chronic pain, depression, mental disorders, mental illness, mood disorders, psychache, suicide, suicide attempt

I should write a song about golfballs being an ankle. That is the type of swelling I have right now and it hurts like hell. I guess I did too much cookie making this morning. Course last night I ended up taking a few too many of this and that. I am really surprised I woke up today. If I didn’t I would be happy. I hate not being able to sleep for more than a few hours these days and not being able to see with my new glasses. Is that asking too much??

Because of my medication OD, I swear to God I thought today was Wednesday all day. Wed I am supposed to pick up my niece at 12. Well seeing as I got my days wrong, I went to the school anyway and at 12 was wondering why no one was coming to pick up their kids. Place is always a mad house when school is let out. I go on playing with my phone and then realize today is TUESDAY not WEDNESDAY ya dummy….so I walk home. Only to reach the front steps of my house when my cousin kindly reminds me that I should get rid of my junk box and get a car. If another family member on my mother’s side tells me I should just buckle down and get a fricken damn car, I am going to put a sock in their mouth!! A nice dirty smelly sock!!

So I am going to go off to dream land for a bit. I’ll probably be back around 3-5 am when I wake up to use the bathroom or just wake up to start the day. I kid you not, the past few nights have been torture and trying to get back to sleep has been hell…